So three scientist come up with the idea the plug the butthole of an elephant so that it will not be able to poop for a whole year. They watch as the the elephant goes about its life without pooping no matter how hard it tried. So the year passed and the scientist were like we have to unplugged it but without harm to use. One of the has the bright idea to train a monkey to do it. after training the monkey the finally decide its time. the monkey unplugs the elephant and the poop flies everywhere. All three scientist are taken to the hospital to get the poop off of them. As they are laying there the dicuss what they saw. The first one said he saw the elephant go awwwww. the second one says i also saw it go awwwww. the third one says i saw the monkey frantically trying to plug the hole.
You know just out of curiosity, am I the only one here who finds discussing their doo doo a little disturbing? Why did the op ask for this in the first place, the worl may never know!
Anyway guess I must participate.
One time I had a stomach bug. It was nasty. I think I lost about 10 pounds in under a minuet *shiver*
Okay so I'm at church. I feel like I have to poop. Okay, no problem. Bam, dart away from the group, go into the ladies' room. What all the stalls are full. This NEVER happens. But I have to go now. So I have to go to the men's room. Dear god it's scary in here. To the one cramped stall. God I hope no one comes in. I sit down to poop. I fart pretty hard. No poop. Okay I guess everything's-
At this point the story enters bullet-time. I feel a painful buildup in my bowels. But this isn't pain like pressure. This is like a black, tarry corruption poisoning my body. I feel it move. My *** is like a geyser. Some serious super-soaker level spray happening. And I can feel my butthole expand and contract as it pours out of me.I can feel that dark corruption draining out of me. Still my guts hurt. Okay, it feels over. I sit on the toilet for like 10 more minutes, guts just aching, wanting it to be over. More comes out. I repeat the process. After a long period of time, I feel the rebellion in my bowels die and I decide I'm done.
Time for cleanup. Step one, survey the damage. As it felt, the poop itself has the consistency of a good, chunky stew. It's a heterogeneous mixture of dark sludge and soft but stable flakes which break off into the water. The water is dyed bright orange. I reach for the toilet paper. OH NO THE DOOR OPENS!
Legs up. He can't see my shoes. He'd have plenty of questions. And know who did it. Please go for a urinal. Please go for a- I hear him peeing. Dear god why. He flushes. He doesn't wash his hands. He leaves. Okay, screw it. Toilet paper can't deal with this. I flush. Or not.
It wasn't like clogged. It just sorta didn't work. I try a few more times. I get up to see what's up. The poop sludge has formed a plug. Not a clog. Like, a solid plug molded to the drain. It's like a ****in' sedimentary rock. Just chilling at the bottom of water, being absolutely solid. Okay. This is a serious situation.
I get up. I leave the stall, jeans around my ankles. I close the door and cowboy mosey over to a sink. I wash my butt in the sink water. I hope vaguely that no dudes come in but my shame is zero at this point. I pull up my pants, wash my hands for good measure, and leave. I hope no one saw me on the way out.
well its not realy my story but at my school in the elementary bathroom someone had crapped into a paper towel and flung it at the ceiling it stayed there for years till they renovated the bathroom
I've never had any really extraordinary poop outside of the runs every once in a while. But I was watching this British health show called You Are What You Eat, and the dietitian went into great detail about how your poop's consistency, appearance, and smell can determine how healthy your diet is and how well your digestive system is working. Sticky poop is apparently really bad.
If I eat any amount of food before I run. The same amount of food comes out after I run, but in liquid form. Believe it or not running works your abs the entire time which just churns the matter up more and more as you run.
After 6 miles of nonstop running I get home.
Turn on the sink. Get that picture in your head... That is the exact consistency of my poop.
