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The Swarm

Posted Sep 7, '12 at 12:40pm

Max000_Extreme

Max000_Extreme

110 posts

Things you need to know

Its the year 2033.Mankind has changed a lot through these years.The cities and presidents you once knew will be everything of the past.Remind you that this book is from the future and although this is illegal do not show it to anyone,not even your trusted people.
In the year 2033,the cities we once knew were broken and lost in the depths of the earth.Since then people have formed into numerous groups containing from one to two hundred people. People started conquering,looting and capturing everything from money to people,from lands to gun.Each society fought for one thing which was still fought in 2013:World Domination
Although, a society of five thousand men started fighting for the cause of good and started protecting and growing.They were called 'The Enforciety'
I will be telling you how I conquered them by my team 'The Swarm'

 

Posted Sep 7, '12 at 4:11pm

ellock

ellock

295 posts

I take it this story is taken by the point of view through the bad guy. I also take it that this is a sort of setting for the story. The only thing is that the evil ruler of the future thing is being used a lot, so just be careful to avoid cliche (I hope I spelled that right). I think the story has a lot of potential and as long as you avoid things that are used all the time you should be good. I am looking forward to the rest of the story.

 

Posted Oct 19, '12 at 3:22am

Max000_Extreme

Max000_Extreme

110 posts

some should continue this story

 

Posted Oct 19, '12 at 1:00pm

TheAwesome_tothemax

TheAwesome_tothemax

11 posts

I think the continuation of the story should be like,
My dad was the leader of this colony  and he was the greatest leader till now but then he died during battle and made me the captian at only the age of 17 which was a great deal so I made my dads closest friend as my adviser but he had evil thoughts and wanted to kill me to take over the colony and then rule the earth and make the rest of the people in the world bow down to him so then..........

 
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