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The Story of You, You, You, You, and You.....and You......Etc.

Posted Oct 1, '12 at 1:40pm

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

I've just finished the first chapter. I think it's a well-written story and it makes me want to read more. Besides, I think it could be a good way to improve my vocabulary, as I don't usually read stories in English.
Could I be part of your story, please?

You are more than welcome to join!!! :) I'm glad you are enjoying it and I am glad it is helping your vocabulary.

Whee, thats awesome, I'm a sniper!

I'm glad you like your role!!

Keep up the good work Bro, this story is just awesome. A very well written Sci Fi story. I salute to you, sir.

Thank you for the compliment!

 

Posted Oct 1, '12 at 4:22pm

Salvidian

Salvidian

3,950 posts

Unbelievably awesome. If I was a publisher, these chapters would be in a book store near you by the time you finished this sentence. Hard to believe you could capture such an image simply through use of a name.

 

Posted Oct 1, '12 at 5:29pm

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

That comment made my heart swell :).  I thank you immensely for it. I put a great deal of thought and detail into my characters on paper before I begin typing.

I am happy you are enjoying it too :) that is the important part.

 

Posted Oct 2, '12 at 3:10am

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

Chapter 12 is finished, please enjoy everyone.  This one is Ernie's and also a slight introduction to Kegaumongo!!!

 

Posted Oct 3, '12 at 5:59am

kegaumongo

kegaumongo

1,846 posts

Moderator

Thanks for adding me :)

I haven't read the chapter where my character is introduced, but I can't wait to do so. The story is great and interesting. It is nicely written and not heavy to read at all. Besides, I like the way you're mixing the different stories.

As I said, I'm not used to read stories written in English, so I don't know if I'm wrong about this: I miss some commas. Not always, but sometimes I've thought "I'd add a comma here" just to make it easier to read... for me, but maybe this doesn't happen to other people. I don't know, it's just a thought... or maybe I'm just crazy about commas ;)

 

Posted Oct 3, '12 at 12:13pm

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

As I said, I'm not used to read stories written in English, so I don't know if I'm wrong about this: I miss some commas. Not always, but sometimes I've thought "I'd add a comma here" just to make it easier to read... for me, but maybe this doesn't happen to other people. I don't know, it's just a thought... or maybe I'm just crazy about commas ;)

I'll see about adding more commas!! Lol I shall go back and read over some of my work to see if I missed some.

I sometimes get carried away while writing and forget all about punctuation marks....I apologize if this bothered you.

I hope you like the intro it is not much, but your actual chapters are going to be explosive!!!!

 

Posted Oct 4, '12 at 12:32am

Ernie15

Ernie15

12,548 posts

Knight

I love this story. And I agree with Salvidian, this deserves to be published.

 

Posted Oct 4, '12 at 1:05am

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

I love this story. And I agree with Salvidian, this deserves to be published.

Thanks man, I'm glad you enjoy reading it as much as I love writing.  I wish it were possible but I don't know, that would be amazing.

That compliment is second only to that you love it. :)

 

Posted Oct 4, '12 at 2:19am

KingOfAthlum

KingOfAthlum

120 posts

Chapter 13 is up!!! Killersup it has been too long since you were the star.

 

Posted Oct 4, '12 at 6:57am

killersup10

killersup10

1,788 posts

Killersup teaming up with skelaton_pilot? nothing to say other then....bad....***.Wicked cool chapter.

 
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