Forums → The Tavern → Here's The Situation...
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To exercise my creative mind and to help increase activity in this part of the forums, I'm going to ask an open-ended question or give you guys an open-ended situation every day in the hopes that some of you will come up with answers! =)
Kudos to Ernie for this thread idea, and also for giving me the first question...
What would you do if you woke up one morning and it was 1901?
- 518 Replies
I would do everything in my power to ruin my Uncle and Mother and then leave them to deal with the repercussions of their actions. Clearly my mother and uncle are not people I should be around, as they clearly cannot be a positive influence. And they may count themselves lucky that I did nothing more.
I'd go into my uncle's house and subtly break all the appliances so he'll think everything he touches falls apart. He'd probably leave my mother at that, but I'd still continue to break all of his things so he goes insane.
Any era you want... this is to inspire creativity, after all!
If this happened in caveman times, I would bonk my uncle on the head and feed him to the dinosaurs. Yes, I know that they went extinct 60 million years before humans existed, but it's no fun to be historically accurate.
If this happened in ancient Rome, I would feed him to the lions. Or crucify him. Whichever takes less effort.
If this happened in the medieval era, I could easily just stab him and run away. I could do that in ancient Rome too, but it just wouldn't be fun that way.
If this happened in the old west, I'd find him, say "This town ain't big enough fer the two of us", and blow his brains out with my trusty revolver. Then I'd take off my boot because there would be a snake in it.
If this happened in the 1950's, I'd tell everyone he's a commie and let them deal with him.
And I'd get away with it no matter what time period I was in.
Oh sal, thinking that he is evil. That's funny little boy.
You want evil?
Well, first I would sneek up behind him and knock him out with a baseball bat. Then I would have him tied to a chair, on a boat, in the ocean, surrounded by hungry sharks. Then I would stick a used vibrator into his mouth and down his throught. Then I would throw him into the water. He would slowly drown, be electrocuted by the vibrator and eaten. All at the same time!
Oh sal, thinking that he is evil. That's funny little boy.
You want evil?
Well, first I would sneek up behind him and knock him out with a baseball bat. Then I would have him tied to a chair, on a boat, in the ocean, surrounded by hungry sharks. Then I would stick a used vibrator into his mouth and down his throught. Then I would throw him into the water. He would slowly drown, be electrocuted by the vibrator and eaten. All at the same time!
Ah, an evil war. Is that it?
Well, I can still beat you even from a technologically deprived time. I'd do what Vladamir did to 100,000s of his victims: crucify them, but not traditionally. I'd beat him senselessly with a boiling hot iron whip, then have him scalded with tar and throw him into ice, making his skin curdle from contraction. Finally, I'd have two huge men stick a wooden stake directly through his anus and out through his mouth. Yes, it's possible, and Vladamir did it several times to his victims. They would hang there 3 days and die from starvation. It causes very little blood to be lost.
>
THAT'S EVIL!
Well I would be scared out of my mind because I saw a ghost. Then I would be paranoid in thinking they will become Cybermen and that I will have to kill them all.
kill 'em all. but to be more specific, i would kidnap him in the dead of night, bring him to an empty warehouse. i would then tie him to a chair and force the health drug prednizone down his throat (for hallucinations). after being securely fastened to the point of tears, i would use a knife to slowly cut off as much flesh as i could from his fingers and toes. after i reached bone from all angles, i would proceed to cut off his toes and fingers entirely. then tie up his hands and feet tight to prevent too much blood loss. after cutting off his nose, ears and eyebrows and all skin near it. i would then proceed to do it Bane style, i would drop him off from my motorcycle (going a good 50 MPH) at a hospital to give him a tiny little glimmer of hope before dying an excruciating death.
or i would do it Westly style. i would to it to the pain.
Let's say your father had just died, and then your mother married his brother immediately after your father's death. Then, your father comes to you as a ghost and tells you that your uncle was the one who killed him... you're living in a world where ghosts are generally accepted to be real, by the way! What do you do?
Well, this will all depend on which of my uncles my mother gets married with. The list shall explain:
Uncle Raymond: If my mother married my uncle Raymond I would kill him. He is married anyways and messing with my moms head is punishable by death.
Uncle Timothy: If my mother married Timothy well... I would still kill him. If he killed my dad then well, thats not cool. I would throw him off a building. Simple as that.
Uncle Allen: I don't know him and I have never met him before in my life. If he married my mom and killed my dad I would say to mom "Sure, I'll give him my blessing" And I would have a long talk with him. Just the 3 of us... me, Allen, and a WW2 rifle. You can figure out how the rest goes.
Uncle Clifford: If he married my mother I would do... nothing. Nothing at all! My uncle Cliff was the sweetest guy in the world!! He wouldn't kill his brother, he loved him to death! (literally..) So with that being said I would be one happy camper and leave my fathers death a mystery. Plus my dad wasn't the nicest cat around so I would be better off this way.
I will, worry and mope about. Then I will put up a play to catch my uncle. Take a cruise to Blackpool. Reject my girlfriend and spite her, and berate my mother before I depart. Then I'll pray for a bunch of Somalian pirates to hijack the boat, escape, get into a duel with my girlfriend's brother. Stab my uncle and then die from the wounds in the duel.
Then I'll let my descendants cash in on the book and movie deals.
Alright, we're in dire need of a new situation, before this thread turns into a manual about how to successfully kill your uncle...
A wealthy star athlete gets in a terrible accident and has to get his/her legs amputated. After much searching, the athlete determines that your legs are a perfect fit and offers you $5 million for them. What do you do?
I would tell the athlete they are crazy if they thought I would give them my legs for ANY sum of money. Prosthetics are pretty good now. One athlete in the Olympics this year had a prosthetic leg and it didn't seem to be an issue for him by any means. It is unfortunate that the athlete lost his/her legs, but they certainly can't have mine.
.....wait wait wait, they do this? I would consider it rude. Very rude. I wouldn't give him my legs, ever. I'm more important in my eyes. Especially if he plays for the other team
No. Just no man, that's never worth it. I still need to stumble back from the pub on more nights.
I would tell that athlete that they're simply too fat for my legs and it would be a shame to put them on such a fat person
I would smack him and run away to my house and lock my doors and hate myself for not taking the money.
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