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Puff, Puff, The Magic Dragon.

Posted Oct 12, '12 at 10:01pm

skydragon720

skydragon720

274 posts

I dont know why, but i felt compelled to do this. !_!  I'll try to update this whenever i have the time.

Here goes:

It was 4:11 and mike was speeding home from highschool. He was two miles away from his house, and he might not make the desiginated time. The clock ticked to 4:18, he was going to be late. Mike jumped out of his truck and jogged inside. He grabbed his untensils, ( bong, baggie, and lighter.) and took a puff. Shizam! There he was upon the magical mountain!

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 6:44pm

jezz

jezz

1,447 posts

Disregarding the tense shifts, grammatical errors and how short it is.. Is.. Is this story allowed on AG?

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 6:46pm

skydragon720

skydragon720

274 posts

Is.. Is this story allowed on AG?

I dont know, hasn't been locked in three days.

grammatical errors

Where?

 

Posted Oct 15, '12 at 7:52pm

jezz

jezz

1,447 posts

The errors are small, I'm just nit-picking but I'll point them out. Don't get mad!

First sentence needs a capital M for Mike. Second and fourth sentences there is no need for a comma before the 'and' because 'and' is a conjunction. There's no need for a full stop after 'lighter' because the words in brackets do not form a sentence, brackets are merely used to insert extra information into a sentence without having to over elaborate.

 
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