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Dear Aknerd

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Posted Dec 21, '12 at 9:56pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,275 posts

Dear AGers,

I, Aknerd, have returned from my travels as a wiser, more learned human. I have seen many sights, heard many sounds, smelled many smells, touched many objects, tasted many foods and some things which turned out not to be foods, vestibulerized many moments of linear acceleration and changes in angular momentum, (and you get the point). From these experiences, I hope to give back to the community, and answer any and all questions with some sound, old fashioned, advice. 

Questions can be about anything, including nothing. They should not be about homework, unless its due tomorrow or you would rather be spending time with your dying grandmother or beating some internet game. All answers are guaranteed to be correct. If answers do not meet your satisfaction, please contact all of your lawyers.

All posts should contain a question, and all questions will be answered.

Sincerely,
Aknerd

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:02pm

killersup10

killersup10

1,784 posts

Dear Aknerd,

What is the meaning of life?

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:03pm

nichodemus

nichodemus

11,842 posts

Knight

Dear Aknerd,

When will Arsenal end its trophy drought?

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:21pm

R2D21999

R2D21999

8,090 posts

Dear Aknerd,

Did the ancient Mayans really predict the world would end on 2012 or did they mean something else and some human messed up the system?

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:22pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,275 posts

Dear Aknerd,

What is the meaning of life?

Dear Unsigned,

Life?
42.

But to be more original, life is all about not dying. Consider how many times in your life you have not died. Like, a lot, right? There you go. Life is made up of infinite undying moments.

Sincerely, Aknerd

Dear Aknerd,

When will Arsenal end its trophy drought?

Dear Unsigned,

Approximately when Americans start caring about soccer. Prospects: not so great. Have you considered simply changing your loyalties to a better, less horrible team? Next time you watch a soccer game, root for the team that's going to win. It helps if you record the game, then watch it after read the results in the paper. Watch your confidence and quality of life soar!

Sincerely,
Aknerd

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:24pm

GhostOfMatrix

GhostOfMatrix

11,687 posts

Knight

Dear Aknerd,

What career path are you pursuing?

When will Koei create another good Dynasty Warriors game?

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:24pm

blk2860

blk2860

3,686 posts

Dear Aknerd,

Why did the Mayans troll us? Were they trying to prove they can be 1337 even in the 21st century?

Sincerely,

Spirit

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:29pm

R2D21999

R2D21999

8,090 posts

Oh by the way put sincerely R2 on mine.

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:34pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,275 posts

Dear Aknerd,

Did the ancient Mayans really predict the world would end on 2012 or did they mean something else and some human messed up the system?

Dear Unsigned,

Actually, the Mayans predicted not the end of THE world, but the end of Burrito World, the classy Mexican restaurant just around the corner. At 12:01 this morning (in whatever timezone the Mayans where in), the restaurant did indeed burn to the ground in a mysterious fire. Confusion over this prediction probably arose over the Mayan's great love for burritos, which resulted in this fine delicacy being often represented by important symbols, which were also used to represent other important things like the entire planet.

While the world will mourn the loss of Burrito World, the destruction of one restaurant is probably not as bad as the Apocalypse. Also, the owners knew about the actual prediction, and had the building insured for several millions dollars.

Sincerely,
Aknerd

 

Posted Dec 21, '12 at 10:45pm

blk2860

blk2860

3,686 posts

Dear Aknerd,

What Year is this? All I remember is it was 1812 and I fell into a Whirlpool thing. Now there's talk of 2012.

Sincerely, Spirit

P.S Make sure to reply to my other letter.