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Best Comebacks

Posted Dec 27, '12 at 10:00pm

FireflyIV

FireflyIV

3,290 posts

I was recently reading an article, which details what the Guardian, a British newspaper, thinks are some of the best slapdowns of 2012. I don't think this is a particularly good list, although some of the comments detail better ones. I would rather not provide a link since a lot of them contain explicit language and am unsure whether or not this would mean this thread would be locked. I will however provide you with what I think are the highlights, and indeed ask you to add to what you think are some of the best slapdowns/comebacks/zingers.

Anyway, here are my faves quoted from the article:

"I don't think we should go to the moon. I think we maybe should send some politicians up there."
Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul responds to his rival Newt Gingrich's suggestion that the US install a permanent lunar base
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"I feel bad that good tomatoes were wasted."
Hillary Clinton, on being pelted with fruit in Cairo
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"This seat's taken."
At the Republican convention, Clint Eastwood performed an ill-fated comedy routine with a chair, on which was seated an imaginary Barack Obama. The president later tweeted a photo of his actual seat, complete with the above caption.
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"WMD."
When Alastair Campbell knocked Armando Iannucci for accepting the "three little letters" of an OBE ( a knighthood), the comedian responded with a few letters of his own
(To explain, Alistair Campbell was the head of New Labour's PR, and was insrumental in wrongly convincing the British public there were Weapons of Mass Destruction In Iraq. This is definitely one of my favourites)
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"Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets, because the nature of our military's changed. We have these things called aircraft carriers, where planes land on them."
Obama again, after Romney complained that the American Navy is the smallest it has been since 1917
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Then here are my favourites from the comments section of the article:

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - (Churchill responding to a woman who accused him of being drunk - which he no doubt was.)
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“Of course it’s easier if you hold an Olympic games in the middle of nowhere.” (David Cameron replying to Mitt Romney who accused London of being ill prepared for the Olympics. He is of course referring to Romney's relatively easy task of organising the Salt Lake City Games in 2002. As much as I dislike Cameron, this was brilliant).
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Donald Trump: ''I have a great relationship with the blacks...I've always had a great relationship with the blacks''. To which comedian Seth Meyers retorted at the White House Correspondents dinner ''I think he is mistaken on this, unless of course the Blacks are a family of white people''. (The funniest thing about this being that Trump was present for set dinner and did not look best pleased!)
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Chris Brown: Serious tweet: I THink SKATEBOARDING AND BREAKDANCING should be an Olympic sport.

Frankie Boyle (Scottish comedian): Or intergender boxing, you’d be in with a chance of a medal there mate.
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Tell him I can only deal with one **** at a time” - Churchill after being disturbed on the toilet by a call from the Lord Privy Seal.
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Lady Astor: Winston, if you were my husband I'd put poison in your tea
Winston Churchill: Lady, if you were my wife I'd drink it.
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But enough from me and my cherry picked favourites, I would like to hear some of yours, and discuss their merits. I think this could be rather fun, but let's try and keep it witty. Your momma jokes ain't got no place here.

 

Posted Dec 27, '12 at 10:20pm

nichodemus

nichodemus

11,884 posts

Knight

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - (Churchill responding to a woman who accused him of being drunk - which he no doubt was.)

Think it was Lady Astor. Those two are hilarious together.

 

Posted Dec 28, '12 at 3:02am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

8,277 posts

MGW has a good number of Athiest quotes/slammers

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction." - Gen. Douglas Macarthur (during WWII I believe)

 

Posted Dec 28, '12 at 7:59pm

FireflyIV

FireflyIV

3,290 posts

I was reminded of an absolute corker.

Going back in time a bit, Clemenceau the French President was meeting the British Prime Minister Lloyd George. LG was more abrasive than usual and when he left the room, Clemenceau's interpreter said to C, ''he is a (insert very rude word for vagina here) no?'' To which Clemenceau responded,''He has neither the charm nor the depth''.

 

Posted Dec 29, '12 at 11:33am

Tactical_Fish

Tactical_Fish

390 posts

Gen. Anthony McAuliffe's reply to the German commander's demand for a surrender: "Nuts!"

 
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