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An Agnostic's Dilemma.

Posted Jan 29, '13 at 3:50am

dragonball05

dragonball05

1,800 posts

Oooohhhhh... nice. I agree. But I can't see how to tell her about it. I mean, would she listen to me? Would I manage to shove this under the carpet for a few... years?


This comes back to my maternal love idea. Despite whether or not she wants to hear it, and she may hide it, too, she will listen. Her heart will make her pay attention, if only a little, to witness your change to understand what is going on. She'll always be your mother, and you'll always be her son, but there are going to be times when the two of you disagree, and you both have to accept it.

Well, nice point! I think she could see it that way. But it would be stressing at first. So... risky.


Well ask yourself this: is your mental independence worth the risk?

I hope. But I'm not even sure she remember the existance of this issue. During a depressive crisis, she wastes the world around her for the sake of sleeping. For real. In a moment she was even looking for the phone to call my dad - they are separated - to make me and my brother spend summer break there. Problem is, I hate my stepmother - she's evil - and my father works his *** off, so me and my brother would be sent for a psychological torture camp.


Well, it might take this situation resurfacing to snap her back into full reality. I would say, just seeing the word depression as my reasoning, be careful with the speed in the conversation of bringing up the subject. Of course, do it all in one go, maybe two, but make sure you don't just go up to her an say "Mom, I'm not getting baptized, deal with it" because that will have more adverse effects than positive outcomes.

The truth saves it all, eh?


That's my thought at least. Very rarely is it good to lie, and even then it's usually just a small lie. In this case, there are multiple reasons not to lie. Your mother needs to see as soon as possible who you are and what you believe. Also, if she finds out later that you've lied about your beliefs, it'll be worse than if she knows now. Another point is that if there is a God, I'm sure God would be much more displease in you lying about belief/disbelief in him than openly thinking "God, I do not believe you exist." So spiritually, since you're agnostic and could easily go to either side of the spectrum, it's better to be open about it. A third point is that for you personally. it's better not to lie so you don't have the constant stress and anguish from worrying about your mother finding out about the lie.
 

Posted Feb 3, '13 at 1:04am

Roger721

Roger721

1,105 posts

Well, too late. Given her lately state - sleeping her days away - I didn't had enough time to take the lead in this matter. The baptism is tomorrow...

During these days, my stepfather has been doing everything on his hands to take her out of that depressive state, including trying to take her to church - which she wasn't wanting to attend. Today, the church has made her improve a lot. She seems to be getting better, not sleeping. But then she found out the baptism was tomorrow, and came to me to ask if I wanted to be baptized.

Well, one of the actions my stepfather also took was somehow to enforce the fact that me and my brother have freedom of religion, and should not be baptized in their religion against our will. That's probably why she came to me and asked, instead of just pushing me there. She was, after all, calm. She kindly asked us about it. It was better than expected.

Upon her question, I reminded to mention some points I've seen in opinions here. "That it would be carrying out a farce", as I didn't actually believed in most things they believe into, and that "maybe with time I would change my mind". And it worked: she kept our freedom of religion and I didn't lied to her nor her church.

But she was really wanting to baptize us, I assume. She tried to explain God's existence, but wasn't forcing us to believe. She says she'll give us time... but she'll be praying to God for us and praying that we can follow His way.

Even though I was afraid to get her more depressed and to stop believing, it didn't go as bad as I thought it would. I managed to keep my freedom of religion and she could still get better by attending her church - which I showed my respect for and that I'm actually happy that she attends it.

It's a win-win? Right?

So, what do you think about this outcome?

--------

Anyways... I guess that if this has been really, uh... avoided, I owe everyone that has commented on this thread a thank you. Honestly. I don't think I'd have things to say if it wasn't for you all. I'm far from good with speeches.

^_^

 

Posted Feb 3, '13 at 1:54am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,475 posts

It's a win-win? Right?

It seems that way.

The baptism is tomorrow...

She says she'll give us time...

Was one day the time she's giving? Or is it now postponed until when/if ever you say "yes"?

but she'll be praying to God for us and praying that we can follow His way.

Now she'll feel she's got a purpose/motivation in 'saving' you and will likely be less depressed.
 

Posted Feb 3, '13 at 5:31am

dragonball05

dragonball05

1,800 posts

Hey that's all good to hear. I'm glad this thread was able to help you, and I hope that you take full advantage of this opportunity for freedom that you got and deserved

 

Posted Feb 3, '13 at 7:33pm

Roger721

Roger721

1,105 posts

Was one day the time she's giving? Or is it now postponed until when/if ever you say "yes"?


The latter.

Now she'll feel she's got a purpose/motivation in 'saving' you and will likely be less depressed


I hope so! She has been pretty depressed lately, and that's awful, actually.

Hey that's all good to hear. I'm glad this thread was able to help you, and I hope that you take full advantage of this opportunity for freedom that you got and deserved


Thanks!
 
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