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Slippery Slope

Posted Jan 26, '13 at 11:23pm

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,438 posts

Create a fallacious, extrapolated outcome (positive or negative) for the above person's scenario.

P1: I drank some water
P2: When you drink some water, you later need to pee. When you pee, you need to flush. When you flush, the toilet malfunctions. When the toilet malfunctions, it floods your house. When your house is flooded, your feet will get wet with sewage. Don't let your feet get wet with sewage. Don't drink water.

I took out the trash.

P3: When you take out the trash, it gets taken away. When it gets taken away, you realize you dropped your keys in the can. When you realize you dropped your keys in the can, you chase after the truck. When you chase after the truck, you get hit by a bus. When you get hit by a bus, you're taken to a cheap hospital. When you're taken to a cheap hospital, they accidentally switch your records. When they accidentally switch your records, you wake up surrounded by strangers who call you Bill. Don't wake up surrounded by strangers who call you Bill. Don't take out the trash.

I ate a cheeseburger.

P4: When you eat a cheeseburger, you think you're getting fat. When you think you're getting fat, you go to the gym. When you go to the gym, you feel confident. When you feel confident, you are assertive to your boss. When you're assertive to your boss, you get promoted. When you get promoted, the secretary notices. When the secretary notices, she introduces you to her cute, unmaried, younger sister. Always eat cheeseburgers.

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I blew my nose in public.

 

Posted Jan 27, '13 at 12:38am

R2D21999

R2D21999

14,642 posts

Knight

You got these from the Statefarm commercials didn't you?

When you blow your nose in public, a booger flies out. When a booger flies out, it lands on a person. When it lands on a person, they turn into a mutant rat. When they turn into a mutant rat, they'll watch soap operas on your couch. Don't blow your nose in publc.

I made a taco.

 

Posted Jan 27, '13 at 1:36am

EmperorPalpatine

EmperorPalpatine

9,438 posts

You got these from the Statefarm commercials didn't you?

DirecTV. StateFarm is the "Like a good neighbor" jingle and the guy appears.

When you make a taco, you can't decide between using a hard shell or a soft shell. When you can't decide between using a hard shell or a soft shell, you ask the guy next to you. When you ask the guy next to you, he tells you to "listen to your heart". When he tells you to "listen to your heart, you do. When you do, you kiss him. When you kiss him, he fractures your skull, 6 ribs, right arm, left leg, and coccyx. When he fractures your skull, 6 ribs, right arm, left leg, and coccyx, he grinds what's left of you into taco meat. Don't get ground into taco meat. Don't make tacos.

I spun around on my swivel chair for hours.
 

Posted Jan 27, '13 at 3:58am

Nerdsoft

Nerdsoft

1,213 posts

When you spin around on swivel chairs for hours, you fly off. When you fly off, you hit your computer. When you hit your computer, you break your computer. When you break your computer, it electrocutes you. When it electrocutes you, you get paralysed. When you get paralysed, you can't call for help. When you can't call for help, you starve. Don't spin around on your swivel chair, you'll starve.
I ate a fajita.

 

Posted Jan 27, '13 at 2:49pm

R2D21999

R2D21999

14,642 posts

Knight

When you eat a fajita, Mexico gets angry. When Mexico gets angry, they come to your house. When they come to your house, they start trashing it. When they start trashing it, your friends see. When your friends see, they start a party at your house. Always eat a fajita.

I pet a dog.

 

Posted Jan 27, '13 at 4:55pm

theEPICgameKING

theEPICgameKING

1,017 posts

When you pet a dog, you didn't check to see if the dog has rabies. When you don't check to see if the dog has rabies, the dog bites you. When the dog bites you, the rabies virus mutates into the Zombie Virus. When the rabie virus mutates into the Zombie Virus, you end up causing the Zompocolypse. Don't cause the Zompocolypse. Don't pet a dog!!!! ...or if you do, check to see if it has rabies.

 

Posted Jan 28, '13 at 12:21am

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

6,364 posts

EPICgameKING: fail. How about the "part 2?"

I stayed up late.

 

Posted Jan 28, '13 at 1:32am

Poizaz00

Poizaz00

627 posts

When you stay up late, you wake up late. When you wake up late, you wake up after a fire has started. When you wake up after a fire has started, you suffocate from smoke. Don't stay up late.

I'm a hypocrite.

 

Posted Jan 28, '13 at 7:36pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

6,364 posts

When you're a hypocrite, people stop believing you. When people stop believing you, you lose your friends. When you lose your friends, you try to find new friends. When you try to find new friends, you can't. When you can't, you buy puppets and pretend they're alive. When you buy puppets and pretend they're alive, you pretend you're also a puppet. When you pretend you're a puppet, you hang yourself. Don't hang yourself. Don't be a hypocrite.

I got to class on time.

 

Posted Jan 29, '13 at 7:12am

R2D21999

R2D21999

14,642 posts

Knight

When you get to class on time, the world ends. When the world ends, you die. When you die, the world also dies. When the world dies, a new world is made. When a new world is made, you come back to life. Always come back to life. Always get to class on time.

I farted.

 
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