Well, a very deep poem I would say. I like it. It really made me think. One thing I would say though, is that some of the stanzas don't match the paired up lines inside, usually when it's a quatrain. Some of the foot counts and meters are varied when in most of the other ones they're pretty uniform within each other. Also, I noticed this was a rhyming poem, and there were some spots it didn't where a quick fix could change it, like:
for man has forgotten how to cry
and hes lost his innocence
drowned in numbing chemicals
sadness turns to sin
Change sin to sins, and with poetic liberty, sins could rhyme with innocence.
There were a few others, including one of the quintains, but it would take a larger change for that rhyme to be fixed, and would require more of a structural change possibly.
Other than that, I loved the poem and I hope you post more. :D
That was deep, really deep. Dragonball05 is right. It really made me think and was really, honestly amazing. Wow, I feel so weird inside after reading that. It's really amazing. I loved it. Keep up the great work. I'll be looking out for more!
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