ForumsWEPRhow do u tell your parents you are an atheist

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Lanod
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Lanod
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my family arent very religious but I'm still scared to tell them i dont beleive god

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Kasic
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Kasic
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my family arent very religious but I'm still scared to tell them i dont beleive god


There's a few important things to do.

-Don't bring it up at church, for God's sake. (More pun ^.^)
-It's best not to do it when you're feeling angry or emotional.
-Don't do it when they are either.
-Wait for a right time. A casual discussion about religion works. Simply state your own opinion.
-Don't get sucked into Pascal's Wager
-Make it clear if the subject comes up that being an atheist does not mean you have no morals.
-Don't insult their beliefs by calling them stupid, foolish, or whatever else. If you must say something, say it in reference to yourself. "I do not believe there is sufficient evidence," or "I do not feel 'God's presence' in my life," for example.
-Don't let them drag you off topic with a red herring fallacy If they start talking about the Theory of Evolution, The Big Bang, or Abiogenesis, tell them that is not relevant to your belief in God.
-Don't argue with them about your belief. That can be done at a later time. Spacing out the emotions associated with the topic keeps them calmer.

Well, that's all the ones that come to mind immediately. I'll post back if I think of any to add.
Lanod
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Lanod
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thanks man

BigP08
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BigP08
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I would also add to make sure you're not putting yourself in financial danger and that you can handle the emotional danger. If you're still in high school and your family is conservative Christian, be certain that they won't force you to go to boot bible indoctrunation camp or something. If you think your parents will understand, then be open with them.
I only mention that because I am currently financially dependent on my conservative Christian family and I cannot tell them I'm an atheist for a few years.

Squidbears
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Squidbears
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I only mention that because I am currently financially dependent on my conservative Christian family and I cannot tell them I'm an atheist for a few years.

If they really care they're not going to disown you for having differing opinions than them. I grew up in a christian conservative household and when I told my parents, they didn't like it... but they accepted it, as they should. The child that is disowned for being different than their family is a rare one.
BigP08
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BigP08
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If they really care they're not going to disown you for having differing opinions than them. I grew up in a christian conservative household and when I told my parents, they didn't like it... but they accepted it, as they should. The child that is disowned for being different than their family is a rare one.

It's my father that I'd be worried about. I'm commuting to college from home, so I could leave if I wanted to, but I would rather avoid unnecessary conflict. The rest of my family will be okay with it I think.
I guess the best defense is, "God knows what it would take to make me believe in him again, so just pray to him that he do the thing that will make himself known to me."
Blairlarson
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Blairlarson
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Well if your parents are not religious why would you be scared? And second if your Parents are religious then they would probably turn you over to the Light side of the force

Kasic
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Kasic
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And second if your Parents are religious then they would probably turn you over to the Light side of the force


Because forcing your kid to believe in something that they don't by making them go and listen to a boring sermon that almost never changes for an hour every sunday morning is the 'light side of the force' at best. Screams of that you'll be going to hell, not be allowed to participate in holiday gatherings, grounded until they believe in God, and more are the slightly worse ones.

Disownment stories are not unheard of.
Blairlarson
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Blairlarson
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The you are going to hell part is what religion you are. I know that some parents are understanding and will let you turn to the Dark side of the Force.

Kasic
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Kasic
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I know that some parents are understanding and will let you turn to the Dark side of the Force.


If they are understanding they will not believe atheism to be the 'dark side of the force.'

Atheism simply refers to a lack of a belief. Anything else is unrelated.

"Do you believe in God Jimmy?"
"No."
"Okay."
^Understanding.

"Do you believe in God Jimmy?"
"No."
"It's your choice to ignore God, but okay."
^Not so understanding.
Blairlarson
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Blairlarson
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Im just saying the Dark side of the Force because I am religious. I know some strong religious families that have allowed their child to become Atheist.

Kasic
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Kasic
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Im just saying the Dark side of the Force because I am religious.


Yes, I get that. Except it's a false comparison. If you really want to look at it from a religious point of view, atheism is neutral.

It's like you have a favorite band and you go up to someone and tell them about it. They say they've never heard of it so you try to make them listen to some music. They say they don't really like it. Then either you stop there or start an argument because you think they should like it.

I know some strong religious families that have allowed their child to become Atheist.


The "allowed" part is what I'm getting at with not being understanding. Belief isn't something you pick and choose. Can you choose to at this very moment believe that aliens walk around on earth in plain sight? Almost certainly not.
Blairlarson
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Blairlarson
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Ok the reason is said allowed for their child to become atheist is because they Allowed their child to become atheist.

Kasic
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Kasic
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Ok the reason is said allowed for their child to become atheist is because they Allowed their child to become atheist.


It's not something for parents to "allow" or not. They don't get to make that choice. They can accept it, sure. Which is what you mean I am assuming.
Blairlarson
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Blairlarson
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It's not something for parents to "allow" or not. They don't get to make that choice. They can accept it, sure. Which is what you mean I am assuming.

Yes that is what I meant. In better words the parents did not try to change the child's opinion.

Bladerunner679
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Bladerunner679
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Yes that is what I meant. In better words the parents did not try to change the child's opinion.


words spoken from those who haven't experienced this makes the speaker ignorant. you aren't an atheist so you have no idea.

the moment you tell your religious parents that you are one, their opinion of you drastically changes from respectable youth to problem child. they will then stop at nothing to bring you back into their fold. this will go on until they see just how steadfast the child is. it's not that they didn't try hard enough, it's that there's nothing that can be done once this view has blossomed.

-Blade
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