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Jokes and funny facts

Posted Feb 23, '13 at 10:59am

mikacinikac

mikacinikac

379 posts

Ok, I'm first going to post some funny facts:

Read this out loud:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the start

Second, I'll post some jokes:

Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?
A: "Curl Up and Dye."

Now, post you some of this....

 

Posted Feb 23, '13 at 11:16am

mikacinikac

mikacinikac

379 posts

Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike?
A: It was going too fast for her to get on.

 

Posted Feb 23, '13 at 12:33pm

Jumpper

Jumpper

153 posts

these jokes are as funny as a box of rocks at the bottom of a pool..... unless you were tied to them then it would be pretty funny.
(not meant as a diss towards  you mik)

 

Posted Feb 23, '13 at 10:18pm

winmaster1

winmaster1

637 posts

Q: Who thinks that Franz Joseph Haydyn was the actual writer of Für Elise?
A: Haydyn and Für Elise.

I know, my jokes aren't that funny.

Two more really silly ones.

Q: What does lightning wear during stormy weather?
A: Thunder Wear.

Q: What do you get when a parakeet flies into the blender?
A: Shredded Tweet.

 

Posted Feb 23, '13 at 11:55pm

xeano321

xeano321

2,562 posts

Knight

Read this out loud:

That is really really overdone. I've seen that joke everywhere, it's not even funny anymore. I find it to be more of an annoyance then anything.

 

Posted Feb 24, '13 at 1:30pm

bschnauzer7

bschnauzer7

294 posts

Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
A: Lean Beef.

Q: What do you call a cow with one leg?
A: Stake.

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef.

Q: What do you call a cow that has recently given birth?
A: Decaffeinated.

Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?
A: Beef jerky.

All the jokes I know are about cows.

 

Posted Feb 24, '13 at 2:39pm

HahiHa

HahiHa

5,031 posts

Knight

I haven't seen a funny fact yet, the one in the OP cannot really be called that.. I'll start with one:

Botanically, the banana is a berry while the strawberry isn't.

 

Posted Feb 24, '13 at 8:50pm

Clancy12

Clancy12

3,938 posts

Botanically, the banana is a berry while the strawberry isn't.

Actually, it's a herb.

-A real-life Death Star would cost $15.6 septillion to build. Roughly a trillion times the amount of money in the world.
-All the human urine produced every day would take 20 minutes to flow over Niagara Falls.
-A single cow will emit as much polluting gases (farts), as a midsize car driving over 19 000 kilometers.
- Just one sneeze on a crowded subway can give 150 passengers a cold.
- Maintaining good posture can burn up to 350 calories each day.

 

Posted Feb 24, '13 at 11:18pm

xeano321

xeano321

2,562 posts

Knight

-A real-life Death Star would cost $15.6 septillion to build. Roughly a trillion times the amount of money in the world.

To think people actually wanted one to be built.

 

Posted Feb 25, '13 at 1:46am

ironblade41

ironblade41

523 posts

This one's a bit morbid, but:

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his butt.

 
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