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Relentless

Posted Apr 12, '13 at 7:39pm

thepunisher93

thepunisher93

1,863 posts

I want to write a novel.
I want to write a novel about a man in a warzone fighting for his life, stealthly killing his enemies.
Scavenging for supplies.
With a supernatural touch.
here it goes.
Just he start of it.


This was my first day at work. I had a hearty breakfast and wore my new shoes and hard hat.I thought If was lucky to land a job in such harsh times and I was determined to impress my employers.I reached the site before any one else and was greeted by the guard.Within ten minutes, everyone was present and the foreman was telling them what to do.
"You , New boy! you'll dig there."
Foreman told me.

I went and started digging.The ground was hard and had more rubble than dirt.Rubble which was left by the last war now buried in dirt by work of 115 years.The war which razed this city among many others and changed the course of history.

By 4pm while I was still digging, I found a trapdoor of some sort. I pondered at it for a moment and yelled.
"Boss! I found something."
Upon hearing this foreman came to me to see it and when realised what it was, he yelled others to help .When we opened it, a spectator was in front of us in dim light of our totches. there were two skeletons, one with its back against a wall and the other near it laying supine. It appeared to be a makeshift bunker full of dust gathered there in a century. We called the authorites and rest of the day went in all this hassle,I went home.

Next day I came back to work further,at lunch I went there out of curiosity and there in rubble I found a little bag.
Hoping to find something valuable in it, I stashed it away to take it home with me.Rest of the day went without an incident and I did not forget to take that bag to home with me.

When I reached home, I opened the bag. It was a messtime has taken its toll.
Inside, I found a knife, a tincan and compass. I examined the bag from other sides and saw another pocket in which I found a ring. No matter how much dust it had, I recognised that it was golden. I threw the tin can away but kept rest of my findings.Tired of all day's work, I went to sleep while pondering about what it was for those two souls.

 

Posted Apr 13, '13 at 10:02pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

6,492 posts

It's interesting, but you NEED to fix the spelling and grammar. You could at least copy/paste it to Microsoft Word and run Spellcheck. No one will ever take this seriously until you fix the spelling and grammar.

 

Posted Apr 21, '13 at 10:42am

rychus

rychus

1,301 posts

Adding on to what Matt said...
I know that this is your story and such, but a man that is fighting for his life in a war zone would find a use for even a tin can. He would use it for a water bottle, even. From what I got reading the story, he works out of some camp. The can could be sold to the camp or something. It can be used for anything, really, like a dice cup. The possibilities are endless, you just have to find them. It seems like a great story and it caught my attention. Keep Going

 

Posted Apr 23, '13 at 1:11pm

thepunisher93

thepunisher93

1,863 posts

Right now it is just a gumball of Ideas I am still thinking of format.
May be I should write it like it happened to me(ending it with my death)
or as some one is reading a dead man's diary.
Still deciding.
No matter what, it will be of 40 days and nights.

 

Posted Apr 25, '13 at 7:47pm

thepunisher93

thepunisher93

1,863 posts

I dropped the original premise for this one. Its more of live action.
December 3, 2016
"Ahmed, you sent your family away yet or not?"
Abdullah yelled at me from a distance.
"Yes I have, wouldn't be smart to keep them around when talk of war is in the air." I replied.
"Good to know, you training or not?"
"Yes I am training, I think we should be prepared for anything"
"So you think this wars gonna happen?"
"The way things are going, those *******s are not going to let this go."
I had just said my family good bye at train station, it was last train from here.Every one was sad and uncertain, wondering what future held for us, will there be war? . If yes, what will it do to us? questions like this were on everybody's mind. I assured them that every thing will be alright.
Abdullah was an ever optimmist.He did not realise how angry they were at us. They were angry because one of a terror group in our country, which no doubt was of their making, had carried out a terror campaign against them.Now they were coming for blood.
For over a century, Republic of far west had dominated the world, it had subjugated many nations in one way or the other with one exception, us, the Nation of Kaghman..Through out all this period, it tried many times to conquer us, but never fully succeeded. At first with direct attacks, then through proxies, Coups, Sabotage, Public discontent and out right terrorism. We held through it all but it has weakened us, our economy is in ruins, our army was disorganised and morale of our people was low.This all made it an excellent moment for it to conquer us and they had the perfect excuse for it too.
War is inevitable.
++==============++
2- December 4, 2016
Here it goes, the first flare of war, in the ocean. A naval vessel of ours stumbled upon one of their submarine and was lost to a torpedo. Better get ready for what's coming, my aim has improved from all this target practice.I had Stored supplies enough for a man for three months.Prices have soared and its getting harder and harder to obtain any supplies even at higher prices.Never in my life, have ever written a diary, until now.I guess its for just in case if I die.When I see those young jingoist boys getting all hyped for war I pray to god that may he keeps them safe from the horrors of war.
I just wish that these hostilities end but not for moment I think of not fighting if it comes to it.I fear war yet I am willing to fight it if I have to.
++==============++
3- December 5, 2016
The enemy has come to our gates and it is banging em. Early in the morning they first did bombing runs which annihlated blocks upon blocks of city. Causalities were high.They have destroyed the air field so no air cover for us, they can hit where they want when they want. Their next target was our beach defences.As it appears, they have the upper hand now and we can only take the beating. Only thing to do right now is to take shelter and wait for it to pass as I am doing now along with some friends I have trained with. When you see death once,you fear it, but when you see it over and over and over, you become numb to it.Sure I feel a little sad, but ,mostly I feel angry and frustrated for not being able to do any thing.Next stage of the war is near, the stage where they put their forces on the ground.Until then, our hands are tied.
++==============++
4- December 6, 2016
Had the first taste of battle, had my first kill.They started with a bombing run.Few of their bombers bombed us over and over hoping to crush the resistance.We stayed where we were although we were scared but we could not risk being spotted. Still can hear the screams of wounded from next building. We were lucky to come out unscathed.After some time, the bombing stopped.I went up to monitor the situation and a horrible scene was infront of me.
Some poor ******* was in the street when bombs hit.His leg was all I could see out there.Most of the buildings were on fire, they used the incinderies.I ran to the nearest building where our comrades were stationed, it was on fire too.Cries of the wounded and of those on fire along with the smell of burning flesh made the scene even more disturbing.I was about to enter the building but my group leader stopped me.
He said that there is nothing we can do because the ammo cache might catch fire at any moment and we must keep our distance.He was right, moments later, the building along with its adjacent buildings came down with a loud bang and a total silence followed.The silence was broken by a continuos series of muffled thuds.
"RUN FOR COVER! HELICOPTERS ARE COMING, SPREAD OUT DON'T HOLD OUT IN A SINGLE BUILDING! "
Screamed my commander.
We all ran for cover and most of us made it to the cover.
That sound came nearer and nearer and then we could see them, a group of helicopters with soldiers in them. Two of them fired rockets on a building where some of my comrades were, other two went for another building. It was like they knew where we were hiding. There was a heavey machine gun in the building where I was hiding. A man who was with me at the moment manned it and started firing at them, to no use. A hissing sound came followed by an explosion and I was rocked off my feet, last thing I saw was Abdullah falling beside me.When I came to my senses, I found Abdullah still lying by me staring at me.I got up and checked him, he was dead, along with everyone else in the building. I could hear gun fire in the distance.Suddenly some one came in, I turned around and found him to be my commander.
"Any one else survived?"
"No, what about you? how many have survived?"
"Just 15 men, and the ones at plaza, they are the ones fighting.Can you still fight?"
"Yes I can, let's go."
I grabbed my rifle and followed him.
We reached the plaza in ten minutes.
"Don't shoot! friendlies!"
I yelled.
"What is going on?"
My CO asked.
"Sir, three helos unloaded here and rest of them moved further south, now they are holed up in that office building, we counted atleast thirty. We have been able to suppress them but we don' t have enough men left to storm them. Half of our men are dead along with our CO and we fear that an airstrike might be in its way."
A man who appeared to leading them said.
"How many are still able to fight?"
My CO asked.
"Only the ones you see here sir!"
"Just five?"
"Yes Sir!"
"Men !" my CO shouted.
"We are outnumbered and out gunned, if we fight, most likely none of us survives.If we surrender, we might live but we'll live in shame.WE WILL be first kaghmani troops to surrender.I do NOT want to force you to a decision, but for my part I prefer to DIE THAN TO SURRENDER. Any one who wants to leave can leave now, but remember, today or tomorrow, you WILL have to take a stand, that is if you think of yourselves as kaghmanies."
Suddenly, everyone stopped.Even our gunner lifted his finger from the trigger.
"What the hell!" he said and fired another burst.
Situation was clear, nobody was backing out.
"What do we do sir ?"
Asked their leader.
"Two of you suppress them from here, abdullah, you are a good shot, you take position at third floor of that building and kill as many as you can. I take rest of the guys and we come at them from behind."
My CO ordered us.
I took my position in one of the apartments. With my back against the wall I looked through the rat hole which I made and saw their gunner firing to suppress us. They all seemed to be uncertain about our strength or they would have attacked us by now, or they were just cowards.
Can't write anymore now.

 
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