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My Best Poem

Posted Apr 30, '13 at 3:57pm

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

10,003 posts

You do realize that long posts of 5+ paragraphs are generally not even read in their entirety?


Meh..that's their prerogative then.

I thought I would just condense it down into a couple sentences, rather then sit and type something out that will most likely not even be read. If he asked me what I meant by my post, I would have most kindly elaborated for him.

Wow look. Xeano did contribute, so I'm not getting what the fuss is about. Who cares if it was a sentence or two. That's a lot more than what most people post, which is NOTHING.


Woops..I'm in the line of fire again.

My comment about AMW comments being constructive responses was more directed to xeano's comment about generating discussion. I do agree that xeano has contributed..I just disagreed with the assertion that generating discussion was all that was needed.

I thought the lack of punctuation just meant that you read everything without pause.


Except, in the case of this poem, pauses are needed. If not..it just sounds like a huge run-on sentence.

The second stanza in particular..read that aloud, but without a pause, and you can easily hear how awkward it is
 

Posted Apr 30, '13 at 4:24pm

Bronze

Bronze

2,454 posts

I'd like to say sorry for sounding like a ticked off hobo in my previous post.

The second stanza in particular..read that aloud, but without a pause, and you can easily hear how awkward it is


Oh yeah, I agree with that. I was just referring to your first post:

...and, because of the lack of punctuation (implying each line is on its own) the thought ends there.


I've just never heard of that before. Not saying you're wrong. I was just taught that a coma or semi colon or whatever just told the reader where to pause. Connecting thoughts is a whole different matter.
 

Posted Apr 30, '13 at 5:29pm

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

10,003 posts

I've just never heard of that before. Not saying you're wrong. I was just taught that a coma or semi colon or whatever just told the reader where to pause. Connecting thoughts is a whole different matter.


It really depends on how the poem/lines are presented. There are plenty of times when punctuation actually isn't necessary (a style I've practiced in before)..but for it to work the thoughts must be able to stand on their own accord. Each thought/line must be its own free standing thought, while also conducive to the overall idea of the poem.

With this poem, for example, there are some lines that make absolutely no sense unless taken into consideration with another line. Because this connection exists..and exists in a way that the lines are connected by the fact that they must be read as one would read a sentence, punctuation is a must.

-----

On a (connected) side-note:
There are times when a poet will make usage of both punctuation and lack of punctuation..such as Eliot.

Despite my distaste for Eliot and the works, there is some purpose behind his style of usage with punctuation..specifically The Waste Land.

I'd rather not explicate the poem..but basically, unless I'm misconstruing it..he still uses punctuation between lines that connect (if they need them)..but the different ideas aren't wholly necessary of each other. Because of this, he doesn't have punctuation ever-present throughout the poem..but in spots where it is ultimately necessary
(basically, also, he switches his punctuation usage between that of actual punctuation and a pause marker)
 

Posted Apr 30, '13 at 9:11pm

xeano321

xeano321

3,134 posts

Knight

Woops..I'm in the line of fire again.


I'm not trying to start some feud... This whole thing is already way bigger then I wanted.

Meh..that's their prerogative then.


Correct. If they really want to accept any friendly criticism, then they would be willing to ask me for more precise meaning as to what I meant by my short post. I've had lots of experience with this type of thing, and if a 5 paragraph post is not read most of the time (IMO), why post it when you can sum up the whole thing in an easy to read couple sentences? (See my point?)

I just disagreed with the assertion that generating discussion was all that was needed.


Check out the time I posted that... 12:49am... That's 9:49pm where I live, and by then I'm getting ready to go to bed, so the quality of my posts is greatly reduced from their usual perfection, that's why that came out wrong.

Not trying to offend you or anything pang. Don't feel under fire, like I said, this whole thing is already way bigger then I wanted.
 

Posted Apr 30, '13 at 11:48pm

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

10,003 posts

why post it when you can sum up the whole thing in an easy to read couple sentences? (See my point?)


I understand your point..I just prefer my long explanations so that the user can fully understand what exactly it is I'm trying to convey.

Plus..I really like to talk about poetry =p

Check out the time I posted that... 12:49am... That's 9:49pm where I live, and by then I'm getting ready to go to bed, so the quality of my posts is greatly reduced from their usual perfection, that's why that came out wrong.


Ah..yeah I've had plenty of those

Not trying to offend you or anything pang. Don't feel under fire, like I said, this whole thing is already way bigger then I wanted.


I've noticed that I have a tendency to respond to things (on AG) that makes me come off as if I have a certain standpoint on an issue, when I'm either not even on the issue at all, or have a standpoint that isn't what people assume XD
I find it fun haha

-----

Anyways..now we just wait on Jmababa to come back. Hopefully he didn't just do a dump and run..because that would not be a very nice thing to do
 

Posted May 21, '13 at 7:37pm

samiel

samiel

424 posts

I think your going somewhere with that but it doesn't feel like a real piece of liturature just the kinda crap emo kids wright when they are depressed.

My favorite form of peotry which I'm pretty sure is what you used but you should atleast use some shape or form.
this is a better poem of mine

The club
The congregation from which this deliberation is stated has hated my fated cadence.

My rhyme, my rythem, and my radiance have faded.

My welcome is overstated, screw them anyway this place is overrate
!!BOOM!!

 

Posted May 21, '13 at 7:40pm

samiel

samiel

424 posts

My favorite form of peotry which I'm pretty sure is what you used

I meant to say my favorite form of poetry is freeverse.
 
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