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Cranium80
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Cranium80
489 posts
Shepherd

Hello all.

I need a little help. I am writing a short story (~3000 words so far, target under 10,000) and I've painted myself into a corner and I don't know where to go. It's a serious case of writer's block. So I'm looking for ideas!

Basically, what's happened so far is that the main character has died and in the afterlife he has woken up and is now in a black room with three unseen voices. After a brief back-and-forth about how he got there, I"M STUCK!!

I need ideas for where it should go next. Any and all ideas welcome and appreciated. And remember, this is a criticizm free environment, so no ideas should/will be mocked or laughed at.

thank you.

  • 10 Replies
Gantic
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Gantic
11,892 posts
King

What is this room supposed to be?

You could just drop him somewhere through the floor like they do in cartoons or have a door/light open up.

Riptizoid101
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Riptizoid101
6,257 posts
Farmer

What is this story about? What genre?

This black room can be his own consciousness and he could very well be in a dream seeing as how the room is simply black. Maybe he has developed multiple personality disorder and the three voices are just three of himself.

EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,444 posts
Jester

After a brief back-and-forth about how he got there,

The details of what the character knows of his purpose there would be nice. Is he told it's like a test of his character to see what kind of afterlife he deserves? Is he simply imprisoned without knowing why? It might not be the best to state why he's there in the story itself in order to keep a bit of mystery, but drop subtle hints sometimes. What are the details of the room other than black? Size? Type of walls? Dusty/crumbling/rotting or clean/solid/new? Describe it through touch if the room stays dark.

I"M STUCK!!

If you just want the next direct step of leaving the room, "in the darkness he notices a faint rectangular outline on the wall in front of him, feels around for knob, (if locked finds a key, if no knob/lock finds a switch of some sort)" Unless he never leaves the room and just keeps finding plot elements by stumbling around in the dark, which would get quite boring.

This black room can be his own consciousness and he could very well be in a dream seeing as how the room is simply black.

Yeah, I was gonna say that an obvious (doesn't necessarily mean bad) ending is he's in a coma and learns a lot about himself along a journey through the labyrinth of his own mind or values life greater or something, like an Amnesia Custom Story.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
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Peasant

Now that you've covered on how he got there, perhaps you should cover the why he is there. Afterlife? Concious? Something else?

Riptizoid101
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Riptizoid101
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Farmer

Yeah, I was gonna say that an obvious (doesn't necessarily mean bad) ending is he's in a coma and learns a lot about himself along a journey through the labyrinth of his own mind or values life greater or something, like an Amnesia Custom Story.


Thought that CAN make for a decent ending, it just seems like a "cop out" ending, you know? Unless the story had many subtle hints before, the ending will seem rushed like the author just slapped a "And it was all just a dream." ending on the back. I only suggested that because I have no idea what the story is about to give a good "ending".

Unless the OP wishes to revise his story to add such elements, I don't think the coma ending will be your best choice. If you don't want to change your story, perhaps if you give me more details about your story, I can help you devise a more felicitous ending. In fact, based on what you have so far, I can't think of anything else for you.
EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,444 posts
Jester

it just seems like a "cop out" ending, you know?

Just about any ending to anything can seem like a cop out if it's done poorly, like when a hero remembers something obscure that makes him win. That can be well executed if that element is a somewhat prominent and understandably themed thing and it's done in a clever way, like in A Fistful of Dollars where the bad guy always aims for the heart.

Unless the story had many subtle hints before

It'd be interesting if there was a complete character change/reversal, like if he was in a coma from something like crashing while drunk driving, but doesn't remember it and it's slowly revealed with pseudo-flashbacks/hallucinations/phrases from varying locations revealing pieces of the big picture and how he feels (kind of like the episode of House with the bus crash), so by the time he wakes up (or doesn't, or he at least panics that he's stuck forever and wakes up), he realizes how careless and harmful his actions were.
Cranium80
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Cranium80
489 posts
Shepherd

hey everyone, thanks for the feedback and suggestions. There is some good stuff here!

I didn't want to give too much away in my original post (and I kinda still don't until the stury is done), but I can say this: THis is definitely NOT a dream or a coma. The main character has died and this story takes place after he dies.

What are the details of the room other than black? Size? Type of walls? Dusty/crumbling/rotting or clean/solid/new? Describe it through touch if the room stays dark.


In the story I have described the room quite thoroughly, but thanks for that suggestion. To answer your question about the room's descripiton, it is massively big, with no descernable walls or ceiling (even though he walked through a seemingly normal hallway to get to it). There is only a chair placed under a suspended light source that has no bulb or fixture or wire connecting it to anything.
helper08
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helper08
182 posts
Peasant

What genre was this again?

Cranium80
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Cranium80
489 posts
Shepherd

What genre was this again?


It's kind of a fantasy genre, but not like wizards and knights fantasy. Maybe "drama" is the word that describes it best. Certainly looking for insight or something to make the reader think/ponder, certainly NOT looking for any kind of comedic elements.
helper08
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helper08
182 posts
Peasant

is the room gonna be important to the story? Is it gonna be reused? If it isn't you can just have the chair be a trap:

Character walks forward toward the chair and stands above it after he passes by the light. He examines it and decides not to sit in it. He looks around and decides to examine ____ but when he walks towards the light he finds he can't get past it. (The light becomes like a wall of sorts) And then it's up to you, the chair and floor inside the light gets pulled into the ground, he can get levitated upwards and then reaches the light at the top of the ceilings source and: A. it can teleport him outside, or B. it can be a way outside. Or he can just be teleported out after sitting on the chair or just standing.

If it's important to the story I'm not so sure, I'll think about it.

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