ForumsArt, Music, and WritingFreakenstein's "Diary of a Bearded Chieftain"

3 4467
Freakenstein
offline
Freakenstein
9,508 posts
Jester

This will be the thread containing the recorded adventures of Civilization V, depending on the choices the users in this threadprovide for me. This will be alive and kicking so long as there are users around to give orders.

  • 3 Replies
Freakenstein
offline
Freakenstein
9,508 posts
Jester

~Catherine of Russia, 4000 B.C.E.~ Deity Difficulty

"Good lord, did we start in a terrible position!" Spoke Aleks, the only citizen in Russia. I had to agree with him--what cruel deity would place us in this place at the start!? We settled in a vast grassland with a singular lake placed North. Our only warrior, Harold, alleged that we were not far from a vast tundra and arctic wasteland. The only good news is that we clearly saw a river flowing into gods-know-where.

"Get what you can out of that lake, I don't care if we have to eat the mud scraped from it!" I barked. I dare not tell him that we had little coming to us for the coming years.

"I reckon we could do with a bit of pottery!" Harold spoke after a brief swim in the lake. "Wouldn't that be nice? Hmm? Pottery?"

I realized he wasn't kidding. "Yes, then when barbarians approach our field of nothing, we can show them our arts and crafts!"

"Yea--wait, not yeah!" He must have been tricked by my sarcasm. "What I found in this lake was this thick, slimy, stuff that hardens right quick! What if we take a whole bunch of this stuff? We could store things--like food--right inside a cool, damp cavity!"

"I'm more fixated with actually having something to eat, Aleks!" I commanded. "I'm taking Harold with me and we're gonna explore the area. You slack off and I'll have you picking weeds out of the cold over there! He clearly took the hint and continued his search for something tasty.

I am totally not ready for this. Harold can barely speak, but he's burly enough with that club that nothing too dangerous should come my way. As Catherine of Russia, my bodacious figure will surely be the envy of other tribes! Perhaps my attractive complexity will pave the way for success in diplomacy!

Or...I fall to the ground in damp mud while barbarians have crows pick me for a late night dinner...No! I'll not think this any longer. I'll just make sure Harold is by me at all times. As smelly as he is, I need him to find food that's better than whatever Aleks is skimming off from the lake. He better not be picking more of that slimy stuff when I get back.

Freakenstein
offline
Freakenstein
9,508 posts
Jester

~Catherine of Russia, 3800 B.C.E. Deity Difficulty~

It wasn't long before the two of us clambered back to our meek village. "Aleks!" I roared. The three, small, pathetic-looking huts were empty. "You better not be down there again!"

Bubbles rose from the lake and, sure enough, Aleks came back with handfuls of more clay. "Boss man! What's up?"

"I found this straggly-looking wimp of a man hiding around these old buildings. His name is Klyde. He said that he would help us out in building our village....as long as there was food."

A hearty laugh came from Aleks as the shifty individual glanced around the vast spaces. "Screw that!" he continued laughing, "We don't even have enough to feed one of us, let alone four! You must be kidding me." He then dove back down, but not before hearing a "You best be doing something important!" from me.

The newly-fetched citizen finally piped up. "w-what exa-actly do I do now Mistress Catherine?"

"Hell if I know, just do something useful." I shrugged. "Search around our village and find something tasty to eat. I have that smart mouth down in the lake looking for food, but all he found was a time-wasting hobby."

"Besides" I continued after a groan from Klyde's stomach, "you're probably starving more than we are."

"Y-yes! Food! Food!" Klyde cried. He stumbled into the grasslands in search of some well-needed rations.

I have a bumbling oaf, a silly little man, and a stuttering little man. At least when our village gets overrun by well-fed-and-armed barbarians, we'll laugh about it first. I made sure to tell the group that any and all food collection and territory expansion were top priority.

OperationNilo
offline
OperationNilo
3,937 posts
Shepherd

what cruel deity would place us in this place at the start!?




*delete this post after you read it*
Showing 1-3 of 3