Forums → Forum Games → Officer, it is not what it looks like...

You see, the phone is to be installed in the bathtub. I don't like my old shower.

The typewriter is to shoot up any cop who stands in... oh wait you mean the other kind of typewriter? well that's for writing your name and address down officer! And the steel gauntlets are for me to come in your house and give you a taste of "equality" once you finish writing your name down. You may begin. And don't you dare write hastily because you will receive a bad grade!

What... how high am I?...Oh...

{long pause}

Yes...

A Real katana smeared with blood.
A phone full of hacked celebrity pics
A deer that has obviously been stabbed.

Well I own and operate the samurai slaughterhouse. I just finished killing this deer and will now disembowel it. The phone is.. uhh... my friend's.

Empty printer ink cartridges.
A manhole cover.
$1,000,000 in Monopoly money.

Howdy officer I made a bet with my friend that I couldn't get all this in 5 hours, and I did it.


Television
Clown
Lamp

I was just taking this furniture to my new apartment! And this clown is just... uh...

Nail Clippers
Donald Sterling
Weedwhacker

Hello officer, where are my manners, Donald officer, officer Donald Sterling. Now I hope you don't mind him using the clippers, he's got a terrible ingrown toenail and is trying to get rid of it. The weedwhacker? I have no idea, Donald did you bring that? *Donald nods* Ah there you go, tis his.

Dog and Cat in a Bag

Ah officer, i was bringing my dog to the vet and the cat poops and urinates all over the car when he can see it. So what me and my family like to do is put the cat in a bag and close it so the car doesnt have to be cleaned out by a professional.

math
logic
science

Officer, if you mean to ask how can all these fit in a car, let alone together, I will just assume that you are not insane enough to interact with me. So just take a bath, hippy.

A Scythe
A Book with instructions on how to summon demons
A skull of a virgin with a red candle onto it

While I was out farming with my trusty scythe, I found myself stumbling upon a cult trying to summon Satan! As the hero I am, I defeat all of them, take their book so the survivors can't summon any more, and take skull in order to properly bury her so that her soul may rest in piece.

A contract with your signature, fingerprint, and blood sample stating your involvement in a bank heist.
Ski masks.
Illegal possessions of assault rifles.

When i was walking down the street i saw a little kid and asked what he was doing and he said Im lokking for mommy and walked away

A dead body
A bloody coat
A bloody knife with a brain next to it

See the brain held the knife and threatened the man until the coat got in the way.

Evidence that you've been causing intentional mistakes in the "Count to 100" thread.
A man - sized mannequin
2 theatre masks like these:

I actually am counting properly, it's just that the other users are trying to frame me for ruining the count. The man-sized mannequin is what I use to store these masks as I have a tendency to lose them. As for the masks themselves, they're a prop for a play.

The Crown Jewels
The Declaration of Independence
Chest full of cloth

Ah see these are for *grabs him chokes him in the cloth and drives off*

A nuke
A time machine
Someone named Zazzerpan the Learned who is a wizard

Property of area 51! "Puts black glasses on" Now please look into this tiny blue light.

Banana
Fursuit
Hitler

I always use this banana to measure objects. In this case, Hitler wanted a fursuit which is about 25 bananas.

Google Cardboard
A shadow puppet
Cage full of seagulls.

Well you see, I was experimenting with Google Cardboard to try and make shadow seagulls. So far it's not working.

A bloody butcher knife
A rope tied in a noose
A GPS