ForumsThe TavernGood jokes.....I dont really know...Enjoy!

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realmton
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realmton
241 posts
Jester

TELL MEH A GOOD JOKA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
(I am really bored so thats why I posted this)

  • 35 Replies
pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

u

lol pwnd

Pieguyme
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Pieguyme
1,010 posts
Farmer

Bob walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. He sits down, calls over the bartender, and asks, "What's with all the meat hanging up?" The bartender replies, "If you can hit one, you get a free drink. If you miss, you have to buy everyone else a drink. Would you like to try?" Bob calmly answers, "I would, but the stakes are too high."

GandalftheGrey666
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GandalftheGrey666
1,859 posts
Peasant

Macedonia declared war to the USA. Macedonians come and destroy New York. People expect a counter-attack from the USA, but the USA doesn't attack Macedonia. Macedonians come back and destroy Los Angeles, but the Muricans don't attack them. The next day, Obama calls the president of Macedonia and says: "I'm gonna destroy your country when I find it on the map."

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

Gandalf I'm fairly certain that joke was supposed to be a Bush one when he was in office..

Pieguyme
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Pieguyme
1,010 posts
Farmer

It can really be for any president. But congress is really the one who can declare war. I guess the president can order an attack, but declare war.

stinkyjim
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stinkyjim
470 posts
Shepherd

It would certainly make more sense if it were directed at former president Bush. Anybody that took a history class knows that Macedonia is north of Greece. Bush is basically the embodiment of all the southern stereotypes, so it would only make sense that he would be uneducated. Whereas President Obama seems like your typical middle aged, white male (despite his skin color) that you see in 50s television shows.

Speaking of stereotypes, here's a joke from the Boondock Saints:
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy are walking through the desert, and they come across a lamp. They rub the lamp, and a genie comes out. He'll give them each a wish. Black guy goes first. He wants his people healthy and happy, back in Africa. Genie does it. Mexican guy goes second. He wants his people healthy and happy, back in Mexico. Genie does it. White guy's turn. "So all the Black People and Mexicans are out of the country?" he asks. "Yeah," says the genie. The white guy says, "Well, I guess I'll have a Coke."

danielo
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danielo
1,774 posts
Peasant

I got one!
Papa yenkee and mama yenkee decided to divorce. It didnt realy went well. Over the battle of custidy over there son yenkee junior, the judge told joniur: "You gonna live with your mom in eashington. Is that ok by you?"
Younk junior yelled "no!".
The judge asked "why? "
"she beat me!" He cried.
"Thats ok young boy. You will live with your father in Utah ".
"I dont want. He beat me too".
"What about your grandparents at masachusech?" The judge asked.
"They beat me as well..."
"So wher you want to live?"
"With my aunt at new-york" junior said.
And you sure they wont beat you?" The judge asked.
"Oh please. The new-york yenkees dont beat anyone!"

You mad pang?

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

It can really be for any president. But congress is really the one who can declare war. I guess the president can order an attack, but declare war.


stinkyjim more or less explained it. Bush was known for saying some idiotic things and his seemingly dumb nature.

You mad pang?


Of course not. the new-york yenkees are a terrible team everyone knows that.

I'd love to see how they'd do against the New York Yankess

>=p
EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,444 posts
Jester

6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

R2D21999
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R2D21999
18,319 posts
Treasurer

This isn't mine, but I thought it was kinda funny.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Pieguyme
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Pieguyme
1,010 posts
Farmer

Dang, I really restarted this thread. Anyway...

What do you call an Irish chair that sits out on a deck all day?

Patty-o-furniture!

(for those who don't get it, think: Patio Furniture)

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

R2 I swear.

I hate that song so much.

Chryosten
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Chryosten
17,384 posts
Herald

So my friend started a business selling landmines disguised as prayer mats and it's going well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

R2D21999
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R2D21999
18,319 posts
Treasurer

R2 I swear.

I hate that song so much.


Wat?
SSTG
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SSTG
13,055 posts
Treasurer

President Bachmann and vice president Palin 2014!
xD xD xD
Hey, wait, that's not funny! :O

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