ForumsWEPRCourtship in China vs Courtship in your country

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It was about two years ago that I posted my last and only thread entitled Do you have any question to ask a Chinese?, which I can't even find.

Now I'm back to ask you guys some questions out of my curiosity about other countries and the people living in them. Here it is: How much is the marrige in your country related with money? or Do you have to have at least a car. a house, a bank account with a lot of money in it before asking your girl friend to marry you in your country?

In China, the answer to this question is Very much or Yes. Or even you don't have a chance to answer this question because if you don't have enough money, you don't have a girl friend to propose to.(except the romance in school) They worked out that the cost of marrying a girl in Shanghai was as high as 1.4 million yuan, which is an astronomical number for most young men like me in China. Taking out the cost of buying a house, a car and many other things which can make your future wife and her parents think you have the ability to offer a good life, you have to pay a lot of money to your future parents-in-law to get permission to marry their daughter. This money in China is called betrothal gifts. The number of this money is depends on where your fiance comes from and how the family values your future parents-in-law have. Generally speaking, the poorer the place is, the people who live in it want more betrothal gifts. Some people call this traditon, but I call this greed of profiteer. Yes, I think these people don't marry their daughters off, they just sell their daughters at what they think is a reasonable price.

The worst thing is that some girls(more than a few) regarded themselves as goods avaliable for sale, though they will never admit. In their words, What is the matter? What about me? Did I do something wrong? I just want to live a good life! This is my freedom.

Yeah, this is your freedom. But when the general mood of society is going to this way, there is problem.

I really want to know the case in your countries, if it is the same or not?

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3,711 posts

Changed the title a bit so it would fit in the character limit while till conveying the same idea. I think it does at least? If not, let me know and I can monkey around with it.

9,428 posts

In the US, the cost of a marriage license varies by state and municipality from $10 to $115 (61Y to 700Y). A marriage certificate is also required with costs from $5 to $100 (30Y to 600Y). Additional fees may apply. So maybe $50-500 (300Y to 3000Y) for all the legal requirements. Although not required for legal purposes, a full wedding ceremony with extra celebratory stuff costs an average of $26000 (158000Y), usually between $19000 and $32000 (115000Y and 194000Y). A honeymoon vacation may follow, usually costing $3000 to $6000 (18000Y to 36000Y).

1,346 posts

a full wedding ceremony with extra celebratory stuff costs an average of $26000

:O No wonder I never felt the urge to pop the question. LOL.

For your delectation: Contemporary Nihilism: On Innocence Organised, by Adilkno, I guess early 1990's or thereabouts. The bit on marriage:

... The highlight of innocent existence consists of wedding day, the happiest day of your life. Marriage is the one occasion in his/her existence on which joe/jill average may dress up in all his/her decorations, and show themselves to the world at large. The ordering of the wedding gown, the white or red worn for all to see, the bouquet, the bridegroom's shoes, the orchestra outside, the cabriolet or carriage, the cheering onlookers, the historical wedding room, the moving clergyman's speechlet, the standing ovation and gifts, the dinner at some fashionable restaurant, the subsequent feast till the small hours: no trouble or expenses are spared to create a surroundings in which everybody ends up getting terribly pissed, yet never severely disgracing themselves. A day to remember in horror for the rest of your life, yet forever impossible to forget, a wound in your life, a mental tattoo ruthlessly inflicted by family members. Millions of couples shack up forever, just so they won't have to cope with this. The pressure lies in the fact that there is no option but for the whole thing to proceed smoothly, so that even if it does, any fun that might have been there is definitely out. The greater misery the night before, the bigger joy come wedding night. Afterwards, it's safe havens forever.

ps I suspect the Chinese Yuan doesn't quite have a 1:1 relationship to the US$.
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