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Your Poems (:

Posted Feb 28, '14 at 6:31pm

Kiwi05

Kiwi05

3 posts

This is one of my first forums I don't exactly know what I'm doing xD But this is just a little place to put down your thoughts and ideas, and have others possibly give advice, ideas, or improve your poetry (:

So I am going to put one of mine first xD it's an experimental poem, so that's why the form is all weird xD

My mind,
Ideas come flooding in,
They are
s
c

a
tt
e
r
e
d
or on better days
they are
NeatAndTidy


When my mind goes
blank
The ocean hardly reaches the
b a n k

warmer than the sun
as it sits
boiling,
simmering,
for
i
d
e
a
s

Other days

the ocean roars
Higher

then any wall I have
as a block.

Crashing down,
drowning me in
icy cold water,



ideas
this way


and


t
h
a
t

w
a
y

hard to type
f a s t
enough to keep up the pa c e


The ocean is so
crystal clear
I could see
every
idea imaginable
at the bottom.

with such depth
itâs so hard
to keep
treading

to keep
on
going

I fail
to reach the
bottom.
I swim back up,
remembering what
itâs like to
feel again,
as the water heats

up
and turns
m u r k y
once
again

 

Posted Feb 28, '14 at 6:39pm

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

10,090 posts

Just an fyi, given that nature of this part of the forums, people make their own threads to place their work..where they then receive criticisms/remarks on them

So..you can keep this thread to yourself

In regards to your first yet, I haven't had the chance to read it and won't for a bit, but glancing over it I will say that the style is definitely interesting. Will have to see if it works in your favor when I get back and get a chance to really look at it =p

 
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