ForumsArt, Music, and WritingParagraph Writing Competition

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Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

Welcome to the Paragraph Writing Competition.

Please get seated in a nice and orderly fashion while I set up the stage. There are a few things I have to do before we can begin, but after I do said things we can begin the fun vehemently.

What is the Paragraph Writing Competition?
The Paragraph Writing Competition (PWC) is a competition where users are asked to present a high school paragraph (3-5 sentences) that reflects a given theme. The entry that reflects the theme most eloquently wins!

What are the judging criteria?
Judging for this contest is largely subjective, but factors can include:
-Imagery
-Grammar/spelling
-Length
-Redundancy
-Presentation
-General content
However, this does not mean that all pieces will be judged with all of these factors in mind. As I stated, it is subjective.

What are the rules?
All AG rules apply (obviously). Otherwise deadlines will come 24-36 hours after the theme is presented (the judge will come in and say when the deadline has come). Also otherwise, judging will come 24-36 hours after the deadline.

Anything else?
No, that should be it. Unless, of course, you have any further questions. If you do, feel free to ask.

Can we get started?
Yes. You can. The first theme is spring! (Note: if you are looking at this thread for the first time and there is more than one page, this round may be over. Please go to the last page to find the current round.)

  • 19 Replies
pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

It should come to no surprise that since Sal is the creator, I am the other judge.

Make ur writing gud pls

Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

From a 3-5 sentence paragraph? What...I don't know if I can do that. I'm going to have to use grammar to buff out my sentences. You've been incredibly vague with the topic, so I'll just choose my own direction.


That's the point though. If there was an unlimited amount of space you could jump in and write a twenty page paper examining the definition of spring with extremely detailed analyses for every aspect of it. But because there's a length limit you have to learn to condense your thoughts. It is indeed supposed to be challenging.
Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

Thank you Matt! I'm glad to see you were able to do it.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,390 posts
Shepherd

Wow Matt that was pretty darn good. Maybe a little lengthy, but still... wow. Mine will definitely not be so great, but I would like to attempt at doing something in the AMW besides my own lil thread. (But I think you should change the 24-36 hour deadline, bruh. You won't get very many entries, I think)

As the crisp chill of winter dissipates, the seemingly delicate atmosphere of Spring has returned from its long slumber to renew the Earth once more. It's tender arrival slowly transforms the shivering world into a place of youth and rejuvenation. We get to witness this breathtaking and impossible transition as the fragile plants overpower the crushing weight of the snowy scenery every single year. Flowers start to blossom, and it's as if the Earth's sigh of relief powers the soft rolling breeze that awakens the animals from their slumber. This gentle yet vigorous power of Spring will perform its seasonal duties, and then fade into the heat of Summer.


Meh, I'm not a fan of how I ended it but it is now 3am and I need to go to bed.

Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

The entry period will probably be lengthened, yeah.

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,981 posts
Grand Duke

Mine! A very poorly thought out Lovecraft pastiche.

It is a time whispered only in dusty forbidden books, a time when the unspeakable slithered, oozed and squirmed across the Earth, a time when Man had not crawled out of the primordial soup to claim his much vaunted and foolish dominance of the planet. Mankind has only just nibbled at the cosmic cycles wherein his youthful development form the most fleeting of moments, a transient and fading day of Spring in the grand history of the universe. Science, (Ah, much beloved source of comforting misguided rationality!) has mercifully brought but a tiny glimpse of the terrifying knowledge of our history, of our planet's beginning and that of its doomed future. For it is a feverish nightmare of Cyclopean cities of unnatural geometry and the hideous forms from Beyond that dwelled in them, sights that would drive a person gibbering with madness and fear at their sheer perverse alienness not of this Earth.

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

But because there's a length limit you have to learn to condense your thoughts. It is indeed supposed to be challenging.


As Sal said, I am a big fan of both min and max limitations for writing. Having them both forces you to be thoughtful of what you write so that you make everything matter and be an integral part of the work.

(But I think you should change the 24-36 hour deadline, bruh. You won't get very many entries, I think)


Already suggested

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Also, we will most likely be a bit lenient with 3-5 paragraph for first round, as mistakes for something new are expected. But keep in mind, this is not an invitation to go an extra sentence or two, works that stay within the guidelines will automatically gain an edge to those that don't.
But after this round, strictly 3-5. If you don't have enough or have too many, your work will not be counted, and we will notify you so that you may make any necessary changes.
Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

For now I think that will be the cutoff. Sorry if the time length has inconvenienced you.

Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

Winner will be announced shortly. It's also probably noteworthy that merit prizes may be awarded to winners, but we'll have to wait and see.

Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

It is the very first judging of the PWC! I was glad that, despite the the fact that there were only 3 entries, the pieces submitted were overall outstanding. To be frank I didn't think I was going to have a very tough time with choosing a winner: I figured one astonishing piece would blow away several mediocre ones. But, as said, that was not the case; I felt myself in quite a predicament. Anyway, after those who have submitted have read this and are probably feeling great curiosity as to what I have to say about their paragraph, I should probably cut the praising and go to the reviews.

[Reviews are organized in submitted order, not according to judged value]

-----------------------------------

Matt (MattEmAngel)

Nothing shows the life of planet Earth like spring; the vibrant colors and curious sounds breathe life back into a once-dead wasteland of barren trees and fallen grass, brought low by the crush of winter. Something inexplicable, invisible and incomprehensible revives the landscape, flora and fauna, as wildflowers push through the ground to touch the wild animals nursing their young. The cold wind has been replaced with a gentle breeze, and the grey, cloud-coated sky is split by rays of sunshine. All of man's efforts to conquer the land and rule it with his superior knowledge are overshadowed by the raw, yet gentle, force of nature and the change of seasons, as the greatest of writers, artists, musicians and orators have yet to capture a fraction of the glory of it in any other form. If humanity may ever agree on one point, let it be that all of mankind pales in comparison to but a single season: spring.


I'm not sure I will ever forget this paragraph. I'm not sure if it's because I have a rather similar delivery in that I like to be to-the-point with the only metaphors and tangents to increase the imaged value, or if it's something else. On a similar note, it seemed to reflect something almost cliche: it's quite the normal schema for the average reader. It explains the schema in a very nice and deliberate way, which I found to be more exciting as opposed to "Spring is [elementary reasons]". Upon some further wondering, however, I felt the need to ask: perhaps, in some way, is it too cliche? Too schematic? Unfortunately, I can't really answer that question of "What is?" so I shall leave the interpretation up to those who read this. On one final note, it was said that perhaps this was a bit lengthy. It was, yes, but it added in a productive matter. As a result I couldn't complain.

-----------------------------------

Emily (MoonFairy)

As the crisp chill of winter dissipates, the seemingly delicate atmosphere of Spring has returned from its long slumber to renew the Earth once more. It's tender arrival slowly transforms the shivering world into a place of youth and rejuvenation. We get to witness this breathtaking and impossible transition as the fragile plants overpower the crushing weight of the snowy scenery every single year. Flowers start to blossom, and it's as if the Earth's sigh of relief powers the soft rolling breeze that awakens the animals from their slumber. This gentle yet vigorous power of Spring will perform its seasonal duties, and then fade into the heat of Summer.


I had trouble describing this. It's not that it was bad, but it was aloof. To avoid overcomplication (as I do try to do quite often, taha), I suppose it was similar to Matt's except that it was more romantic. Not romantic in the sense of love, but romantic in the traditional sense. It painted a picture of a party viewing the theme and its interpretation, which is, excuse the popcult lang, was quite "meta". It was inside itself and self-referencing. Other than its unsuitability for convention, it was somewhat worded strangely. Euphemism seemed to be used a bit more often than they should have, which, normally, I wouldn't mind. But it seemed to pull the story into a somewhat broken path. Overall, I didn't expect anything of this sort and I thought the image was favorable.

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Nicho (nichodemus)

It is a time whispered only in dusty forbidden books, a time when the unspeakable slithered, oozed and squirmed across the Earth, a time when Man had not crawled out of the primordial soup to claim his much vaunted and foolish dominance of the planet. Mankind has only just nibbled at the cosmic cycles wherein his youthful development form the most fleeting of moments, a transient and fading day of Spring in the grand history of the universe. Science, (Ah, much beloved source of comforting misguided rationality!) has mercifully brought but a tiny glimpse of the terrifying knowledge of our history, of our planet's beginning and that of its doomed future. For it is a feverish nightmare of Cyclopean cities of unnatural geometry and the hideous forms from Beyond that dwelled in them, sights that would drive a person gibbering with madness and fear at their sheer perverse alienness not of this Earth.


Excuse the review, for it will not do justice. Regardless, we should sit down and get to describing what I felt. As I understand it, it's not conventional. Not quite at all. Rather, I feel as if you aimed for it to be a metaphor for passage of the human race. It was worded in such a way that there was a lot going on: so much that I had to read it several times. It was worded in an eloquent way such that the message would be carried on a cosmic path through considerations of schemas. As a fan of the sort myself, that hit a bell. I do feel a bit of shame that I could not describe it more so, because I believe the way it was crafted was gripping as well as thoughtful.

-----------------------------------

Without further ado, I would like to award nichodemus for his paragraph! If you would like a breakdown for your personal paragraph of all positives vs. negatives, I would be happy to do so. I chose nichodemus' paragraph because I felt it was the most thoughtful and intricate, but not so much that I felt lost (although others may have thought differently!).

The next theme will be giving by pang and at this time I believe all will go into his hands. As for merit prizes, I still have to wait for word. Thank you!
Salvidian
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Salvidian
4,170 posts
Farmer

I can't imagine why it wouldn't be. ._.

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

Alrighty! 1st round has finished with some spring showers! hehehehe

The entrants created some mighty fine work, and I'm sure slaved through blood, sweat, and tears to create them. So in honor of that sacrifice, I'm going to ask they do it again! This time with the theme being in relation to the first of that sacrificial trio: blood
...well ok not the theme but what inspired it.

The theme is: Time of the month
Do with it as you may.

Round will go on until end of Saturday (the 15th)

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,981 posts
Grand Duke

Thank you Sal, that was a nice critique.

Probably posting tomorrow, I have an idea already!

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,981 posts
Grand Duke

He laid wide awake scrunching up his nose in an annoyed frown, staring blankly at the ceiling as the clock's precise ticking kept him far away from sleep. Tomorrow, tomorrow he would have to make that monthly trip into the countryside, where the nursing home nestled. Tomorrow, he had to plaster on a false smile and don a spurious cheerful demeanor as he mumbled, hummed and squandered yet another half-day away. He frowned irritably, and closed his eyes. Miles away, an old man choked, and breathed his last.

pangtongshu
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pangtongshu
9,815 posts
Jester

Well Nicho, given that you were the only entrant it seems you have gained another victory. I'll post comments about it whenever I am not in work

Next theme shall be posted by Sal, as well as a deadline. Hopefully we have more than 1 entrant

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