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Broken - Short film

Posted Apr 13, '14 at 3:24pm

inferedmonkey

inferedmonkey

982 posts

Hey guys! My favortie form of art has always been film, and I just finished making a "Short film", so I was wondering if you guys could tell me what you thought about it! Tell me if there's anything I could do better next time! thanks!

Broken

 

Posted Apr 13, '14 at 9:56pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

7,517 posts

Put the names and artists of all the soundtracks in the description!! People are really nailing "copyright infringement" and if you don't you could get your video removed.

Seriously, go do that ASAP.

Also, that was awesome. The choreography needed to be a little more "action-packed" and I think the "Where'd you get those glasses?" line was unnecessary (no one said anything else in the video, so you should have left it without dialogue), but other than that it was great. I laughed at the dramatic glasses technique and the whole thing did a good job of telling an amusing, brief story start to finish.

 

Posted Apr 13, '14 at 9:59pm

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

7,517 posts

For the fight scene, try to do something like this.

 

Posted Apr 14, '14 at 12:59pm

09philj

09philj

2,437 posts

I agree with Matt, it would have been better with no dialogue. Apart from that, it really is funny, and the music really fits.

 

Posted Apr 14, '14 at 1:21pm

MrDayCee

MrDayCee

11,943 posts

Moderator

It was quite amusing to watch! Where 2 fight, the third one gets 'the prize'...

I have to agree though that the glasses weren't necessary and came across as plain odd within the entire setting. Leaving the dialogue out of it would have made it a complete story, because the actions in there speak for themselves.

Good job! You should be proud! =)

 

Posted Apr 15, '14 at 1:03am

inferedmonkey

inferedmonkey

982 posts

Thanks you guys for all the positive feed back! its really appreciated! As far as the dialogue goes I wouldn't have included it, but this was a high school project and one of my partners insisted it was in there.

Matt, Thanks for the tip about copyrights, I went ahead and put the information in there! As for the fight scene you posted, I would have loved to do something like that, but working with high school "actors" that have never really acted a day in thier lives, that might have been a little ambitious Again thank you guys for the positive feed back!

 

Posted Apr 15, '14 at 1:34am

MattEmAngel

MattEmAngel

7,517 posts

No sweat. The overdone drama and rage were great, and the classic "third guy who has no idea what's going on" was clever. I knew it was going to happen as soon as I saw him but it still worked.

Also, if you do something like this in the future, use Battle Without Honor or Humanity pre-fight, when epic stares are going on.

 
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