Forums → The Tavern → Jokes..........

Why don't you ever see a hippo hiding in a tree? Because they are very good at it.

Two rhinos were taking a bath. One says &quotass the soap", and the other says "radio!"

The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"


Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"
Johnny: "Nothing, sir."
Principal: "Exactly!"


Teacher: What's the past participle of the verb "to ring?"
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don't think. I KNOW.
Student: I don't think I know either, sir.

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

A teacher is talking to a student.
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing.


A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"


Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.


Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in Heaven?"
God replied, "$1 million."
Joe asked, "How long is a minute in Heaven?"
God said, "1 million years."
Joe asked for a penny.
God said, "Sure, in a minute."

Lawyer: Do you have a 20 year old son?
Doctor: Yes.
Lawyer: How old is he?
Doctor: 20, like your IQ.

^lol

Why did the sheep cross the road?
Why?
To go to the "baaaaa-throom."

What do you call a duck who solves crimes?

A ducktective!

http://menna.in/wp-content/uploads/funny-jokes-for-kids-about-school-3.jpg

MattEmAngel,
How do you kill a hot guy?

Punchline:

Put a hair dryer in a hot tub!
(Spoiler:That is,when he is in it.)

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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"



Just to be clear, I found this joke on a website. I don't own any of it.