Forums → The Tavern → AG Quotes of the Ages
Funny/interesting quotes from AG members. Can be from AG, or outside of it. Whether said in thread format, or yelled out in the heat of battle in DOTA by certain plebs, post 'em.
- 73 Replies
Riptizoid101: Is it true that you're a mass-murdering stupid idiot with no credentials?(from Fourth Anniversary Ask Me Anything!)
Freakenstein: Hey, I have credentials...
Your armatar is now 20° cooler.
I'm surprised, I have been told my butt is on point but I wasn't expecting even a test to say so.LigeLeech69
I tried the challenge yesterday. I asked Charlie if he was there. Instead of pointing to Yes or No, the pencil turned around and stabbed me repeatedly without anyone holding it. I took that as a maybe.Terry_Logic
5 years? 2010 was like 7 months ago.Ernie15
If, by now, you still have any lingering hope for some logical consistency, abandon it now, because the next "uzzle" will have you peeling computer parts off the ceiling and walls, doing unwarranted interior design on a poisonous air duct, and concealing a Benelli M4 from view using nothing but a tank top and a pair of blue jeans. Plus, 8-hour wall clocks!FishPreferred (from -ESCAPE- comments)
UYOU EAW H AN YOIU KONW WHAT I'LL EGGGG YO YUI'LL TURN YOU ITON A POUECE OF TENDE3R CRSIP CHICKEN NUGGET SAUCE AND YOU WILLL BECOME THE POAITUISNA N EXPIREStormWalker
Freakenstein is a fat dwarf who lives in his clanmother's den, I hope he falls over his own pipe and burns his beard.Freakenstein
akshobhya: I am getting Ads on the website that are too Explicit. Those Ads include Undergarment Ads. Does anyone get Ads like these?(from Ad-Free Gaming)
Ferret: If you get a screenshot, love to see the ad you're talking about. We can take a look.
FishPreferred: I don't think Victoria's Secret has any musteline underwear models, Ferret.
Hey guys remember when I said I'd post the rest of those quotes from the wedding threads? I completely forgot about them... until now.
*stares disappointedly at cake in pond* Well....um....that's alright. I can...um....SLAVE ANOTHER TWO HOURS BAKING A CUSTOM DESIGNED CAKE FOR YOU AND R2! *sniff, sniff* I'll...be right back.
@PieGuyMe pls come back to me bro
Wait, is this where the whole "you opened my presents" thing in the "You're Banned forum came from? Well....that's a great way to compliment the guy who not only bakes you a custom cake to apologize for something he doesn't understand, but, after someone throws it away, he attempts to remake it, only to find his ingredients have been used for....something else. THEN, he goes and gathers more ingredients, and bakes another cake. I was going to give it to you, R2, but I might not now. Unless, of course, you explain the presents thing to me, and then act as if nothing was ever said about presents. So....what will it be? The red pill, or the.....Ugh. Sorry, wrong speech again. So.....what will it be? Cake, or no cake? *End Rant*
PieGuyMe, I'm not sure if I ever did explain the presents thing to him.
HAHAHA! *whips out flamethrower* KILL IT WITH FIRE! HAHAHHAHA! It's always good to burn stuff to give it to the gods,right?
Now. R2. You got yourself in a sticky situation. If it was up to the sisters, you will be dead already. Luckily for you, im here. So, the girls want a ransom for the damage you made for their family honor and the discrase you put on theirbfamily. You used dirty tricks to make the wedding to seem official and by so making the god/s angry. Im here to help you.
Storm, whats are your demanda?
I want to vivisect it. :I
@Stormwalker's response to Danielo
*1 minute later after googlenig what vivisecting is*
Oh god no!!!
Danielo. He definitely learned the purpose of Google.
What I have to say. Hmmm. Well I have many things to say and ask. One, R2 why the hell are you so intrested in me? Two, you still owe me a million. Three, I HAVE A MACHETE! MWHAHAHA! Four, no i dont, i really want one though. Five, King Charles the somethinth made a new religion so people could get divorced. Maybe we should become followers of the church. Six, King Charles killed him exwifes. Chopped their heads clean off. Maybe we could do that too
Aggs. She was very... historical I guess.
Good thing my love for Aggs is strong, like a bodybuilder made of diamonds.
I don't remember ever saying that but I apparently did.
I hate to break it to you but, your never going to find the exit of that maze. And it is insulting to some people if you call them a maze. Just saying. I finally found the perfect was to describe you R2D. R2D is like a slinky, useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs. Apparently, wild R2Ds are very dumb, for they lack the knowledge of TAKING A HINT. Learn that talent.
Aggs. Anyone remember when I used to hate being called R2D? Yeah those were simpler times.
I can offer to give R2 a testicalular adjustment while wearing steel toe boots.
Aggs. She was pretty violent back then.
I'll find quotes from the other wedding threads some other time.
I forgot one:
Remember kids: Don't play with matches, or your fingers will spontaneously disintegrate.FishPreferred (from -TRAPPED- Comments)
According to the children, if I were part of a sandwich, I would be cheese, if I were a restaurant, I 'd be McDonalds, and apparently I'm dating every male who I have pictures of on my tablet. It looks like it's time to move to Alaska.StormWalker
LOL. "Ermagerd this guy is being mean LOCKED." HOW DOES GOOGLE WORK?! HOW DOES IT WORK, MOE?!?MattEmAngel
[...] science is a way of using logic to explain everything, but those corrupt evolutionists want you to think that no-logical-explanation-ology is not a real scienceFishPreferred
Now I'll just add a crumpled ball of aluminum foil and some wind-up chattering teeth. *plonk chr-r--r-r--r-r-r-r*FishPreferred
That ought to work.**
**In some way, sense, or manner of speaking, the results of which I am not to be held liable or culpable for.
Lol you can make milk and then make its mass grow to flood the entire world with m... Ok you know what? Just no...ScrewTheLag
Satan was here two days ago. He finished his double hit of marmalade when the 667th post was made.Arm_Candy
Like a baby made out of popcorn.Gantic
It looks like it was written by a group of 6-year-olds who just spent an afternoon gawking at wikipedia articles they had absolutely no understanding of. There are many questions I would like to ask the author, most of them relating to the frequency and severity with which he/she was dropped on her/his head as an infant, [...]FishPreferred
Your ideas are terrible, evil, and an affront to the principles of Armor Games itself. At least you tried though.09philj
Goumas was chased out of his own class, but managed to inform Dank, who almost recognised him, giving him the confidence to go home and watch some TV only to discover that his TV had been stolen by a giant gorilla. Meanwhile, [...]Strop
Can you guys NOT @ me? I'd prefer it if my mom doesn't find out that I go to a flash game forum.
Just kidding! Haha!
My mom's dead.
how can i find game plaing yesterday ??
MBFF is one of the most quotable threads there is. Here are some from the first 50 pages:
According to the below picture, there might be a whole spectrum of Ketchup.
Have to agree with you. A nice cold glass of cabbage is not appealing.
If I had a bottle of bacon syrup, I could die a happy man.
Is it a strawberry? Is it a pineapple? Is it a conspiracy?
A pizza burger? Only an American could come up with that one. Especially with a calorie-count like that.
And if you haven't had enough of this madness, here's the inevitable double decker pizza burger.
Little chunks of cheese and peppers. There is nothing appetizing about chunks, so I'm as lost as you are.
If I haven't already shaken my head at the bacon sundae, as good as it looks, I'm going to go ahead and shake my head at the bacon sundae.
Eggs and brains don't sound horrible, though.
That must be a fluke. I can't imagine any other country making the hamburger more unhealthy than it already is.
I hit the post button on accident, but I was going to comment on how repulsive that double decker pizza burger is. Good thing it's the only known one in existence.
Cheese-infused beef with jalapenos just screams obesity to me!
Ughh! I love jello, and I love cans, but combining the two just isn't natural!
I've never tasted Vegemite before, but I've always imagined it tasting exactly like tar! Not that I know what tar tastes like either, but what I imagine it would taste like is the same as what I imagine Vegemite tasting like!
Bacon... wrapped... SHRIMP?!? My arteries are drooling!
both drinks look like Windex but from what I know about Jolly Ranchers, the blue Jolly Rancher soda might be slightly better!
I know it just looks like the fast food industry threw up on a pillow, but that crust is so perfect I thought it was the platter!
I'm all for a good PB & J now and then, but to get drunk off it? Whose idea was that?
Mmmm... finally an aphrodisiac that's both delicious and... well, it's an aphrodisiac, so... =D
I don't know what to make of "May the force be with you" flavor, but it has to be better than "Sour Cream".
Good thing that open can on his turban is labeled "CAN". Who knows what kind of hell would have broken loose had the consumers not known where to look for the curry.
Speaking of bizarre, whose idea was it to stuff a bird into a bird into a bird and then try and pass it off as food?
Americans are afraid of imported soda.
Nothing like a warm cup of beef tea to wash down minced sheep organs.
Not only do those Lego fun snacks basically give the idea to small children that Legos are okay to eat, but they also don't even stack. It's one thing if it nullifies everything a parent has ever told a child about what is and what isn't a choking hazard, but if you can't even build with these fruit snacks, what's the point?
There are many foods that make great drink flavors. Cabbage is not one of them.
But that's disappointing to hear about Berries & Cream. After all, I'm a little lad who loves Berries & Cream.
Be a man, grow a pair, and eat some wood.
And what in the name of Satan's beard is "funky mustard"?
No more will we be limited to eight different drink selections, with two of those being Coke.
The fact that it looks like beer was to my disadvantage when I was small. I used to eat and drink up rests, and one morning I finished a glass of Rivella lying around on the table. At least I thought it was Rivella...
Oh man those jellybeans are scary! Of all the trap flavors, though, I'd say black is the most dangerous: It seems like a safe enough normal flavor, but if you're unlucky, you might accidentally get licorice.
Then again, a carbonated, cane-sugar, turkey dinner in a bottle does sound o-so delicious.
The English language does not posses words to describe how utterly repulsive that is (but I think I did a good job with the words I have).
The next one is one of these strange products from Japan. It's called Diet Water, which I assume has all the taste and none of the calories of the water I usually drink.
I can't imagine having to burst one of those balls in my teeth.
Taco Bell sounds like Crapo Bell to me and burrito sounds like diarrhea.
Spiders don't sound too bad. That's about the only thing on that list I'd ever eat though.
The remaining pages will be harvested for quotes later on.
Our computers have analyzed your bio and found your ideal match:FishPreferred
Now billing your account for several contrived services. Please wait . . .
I just wish there was an emoji that expressed death. Is that so hard to ask for?R2D21999
StormWalker: Frank, it was pang. You forgot to open the window again.(from Return of the Attic Noise Maker)
Freakenstein: If it was Pang, I would keep hearing DotA chanting
What kind of scalding tea would you recommend I throw in the faces of my enemies?Arm_Candy
I tried running this in DromEd and it went crazy and killed my family. Now I have to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do when PhysApplyForceList: Obj 241 has 1 submodels and is asking for 1.FishPreferred
Rule 23-2: We already know @Gantic hates fun. Stop bringing it up before he locks more threads.MattEmAngel
[...] and in pretty sure he won't remember, but I already told Darkfire that my soul Was long gone...by myself...LOOK I WAS HUNGRY AND THERE WAS NO FOOD ALRIGHT?YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO SOMETIMES.ScrewTheLag
... Yes...yes, that's right. The back room is just a highly-mechanized house of ill repute. Those machines, therefore, do not have any dangerous, horrifying, or globally devestating functions that you need to worry about.FishPreferred
Now, drink your ale and ignore the brain-altering electrodes I'm putting on your head.
HEY HEY, STOP LETTING THE CYBORG PARTS FALL INTO THE WATER, YOU'RE RUINING THE BOOZE.ScrewTheLag
I'll take the usual. Is the bucket in the corner again?Gogotank
etg2002: NEVER PLAY THE CHARLIE CHALLENGE IT WORSHIPS SATAN AND INVITES EVIL INTO YOUR HEART(from Charlie Charlie challenge... )
FishPreferred: Dude; you're talking about a children's game played with pencils. Calm down.
All these baseless rumors are popping up about Sal leaving for Spain. Obviously he simply struck a deal with the spanish drug cartels but they didn't meet the agreement so now he's going overseas with his "little friend" with which it likes to say "hello" pretty frequently.Riptizoid101
GhostOfMatrix sees a slice of pizza. The circles are the pepperoni. GhostOfMatrix is tired of being put through the grinder and coming out in pieces. The circles are slices of pepperoni on a slice of pizza. The pepperoni, the cheese, the crust are all processed with no farm-to-plate products. It isn't a piece of pizza but a piece of GoM, but life, like pizza, even when it's bad it's still pretty good, unless it's horrible depressingly not-even-a-semblance-of-what-it-should-to-be bad, but "should" is a dangerous word that couldn't be further from "is" in the English language. It should, but it isn't.Gantic
Molecular Time Travel - Perfect for those occasions when you're in a hurry and have no time to roll yourself over a sheet of mucous.FishPreferred
The face is the most delicious part, but only when cooked properly. Raw face is just disgusting.Ishtaron
This next entry will be utterly lame, but I digress...Gantic
Riptizoid101: As part of Ferret appreciation Month, I'll help Ferret get a girlfriend!(from Ferret Appreciation Month)
What do you think, Ferret, ain't she a keeper? ;D
MattEmAngel: Getting a little risqué, are we?
Nurvana: Ferret better decide quickly. If female ferrets don't mate while in heat, they secrete estrogen into their bloodstream, depressing their bone marrow and killing them. So, no pressure!
Nerdsoft: APPROACHING BOUNDARIES - LINE DRAWN
You are stupid.Klaushouse, beginning his OP
"Killersup..." Patrick sighs. "Milk is what makes bones strong, not glass."R2D21999
"Ohhhh... someone should probably call a vet."
Both. As in, they give us textbooks to do busywork out of - it REALLY sucks on the first day of school when you're carrying FOUR TEXTBOOKS HOME DO YOU THINK I HAVE A PLACE TO PUT THESE BECAUSE I DON'T - but we don't really use them in most of my classes. Except for homework.StormWalker
All from the overlord, Gantic:
GhostOfMatrix sees the dorsal fin of a shark of indeterminable species, so let's assume great white. Does this mean GhostOfMatrix enjoys games set in the ocean with sharks abound? No. The black and white composition must be taken into account to arrive at the conclusion that GhostOfMatrix enjoys oceanic art games that feature black and white graphics.
GhostOfMatrix sees a flower and ice cream. GhostOfMatrix has difficulty in discerning different like shaped objects, which is why he drew a flower and an ice cream.
GhostOfMatrix sees a slice of pizza. The circles are the pepperoni. GhostOfMatrix is tired of being put through the grinder and coming out in pieces. The circles are slices of pepperoni on a slice of pizza. The pepperoni, the cheese, the crust are all processed with no farm-to-plate products. It isn't a piece of pizza but a piece of GoM, but life, like pizza, even when it's bad it's still pretty good, unless it's horrible depressingly not-even-a-semblance-of-what-it-should-to-be bad, but "should" is a dangerous word that couldn't be further from "is" in the English language. It should, but it isn't.
GhostOfMatrix sees a leaf. The squiggle forms part of the outline of the leaf. GhostOfMatrix is like a leaf in the wind. Here one moment and gone the next.
GhostOfMatrix sees boxes from breakout. The rectangles form two of the boxes. It's a new level of breakout and and all three lives are still in tact. GhostOfMatrix is at a new beginning.
Whoops, too late for me to edit them now.
100 years in the future, we will have calendars dated 100 years in the future.FishPreferred
And in the interest of not having to respond to the perfectly understandable objections, I subscribe to the "BRFJOJO Rule of Necessity of Presentation of Evidence of Claims," which, appropriately, does not exist.MattEmAngel
3 Your signed and handwritten manuscript titled "My Ingenious Plan for Global Domination and/or Annihilation" which contains, in exhaustive detail, the step-by-step procedure for an insidious plot involving a fusion channel annihilator, complete with schematics of something that looks kind of like a water cooler and various notes on how to extort vast quantities of gold bullion and nuclear arms from the UN, overthrow it, and conquer the world. The plot appears to be entirely foolproof, provided that you can get across the border without being stopped for questioning.FishPreferred
I don't know, the kitchens they make can't compress into a Pepsi can for quick kitchen camouflage purposes. They're just not portable. Also, just after I bought mine, I slipped on the floor, decked myself on the counter, and broke seven of my teeth. I sued for 18,000 dollars, but they broke into my house, and erased all of the footage that my CCTV camera caught of the incident. Then, they collected the blood, and are now cloning me. I copyrighted myself in 1999, so what they did was illegal. But seriously, the floor is just so shiny! That almost makes up for all of it!blk2860
His dreams may be weird and funny but that is only because doors are paddles and wheels and baskets hindered only by the impossible layers upon layers upon layers within his depths.Gantic
Tired of garbled, cluttered dreams? Then you need the Wakenator! Only $99.99 plus shipping. You'll also receive the patented Steakenator Steak Staker and Stock Stoker absolutely free! Order now and we'll double it for some reason. That's a $23,800,000,000.00 value, yours for only twelve easy payments of $99.99! plus shipping.FishPreferred
I examine my surroundings, as any sane text-based adventurer does first.MattEmAngel
Finally after so many stops that Snag lost count, and the running over of innocent stop signs, the users of ArmorGames High have finally made it to school alive. However, while the bus was heading towards its parking spot, it hit a student riding to school on a moose. The student survived, but the moose was thrown under the bus as it stopped.R2D21999
"NOOOOOOOO!" shouts Clancy, the Canadian foreign exchange student, near tears.
"CLEVIS! PLEASE, CLEVIS, SPEAK TO ME!"
The moose stays silent.
I don't follow your logi-StormWalker
THIS ASSUMPTION YOU'VE MADE IS FAULTY
ERROR, SHUT DOWN AND RESTART
Dear Person that reads this, there's a couple of us stuck in Mr. Unleashed's classroom because Clancy was being a brick and shut the door. The users that are stuck are R2, Pick, Clancy, Storm, Manly, and Nurv. Please help us soon, Storm is resorting to cannibalism and Clancy will probably be missing a finger by the time you read this. Love, R2.R2D21999
Guest_Pegasus1234: Personality: A shy 9th grade girl who is kind, and loved by mostly everyone, however, she is gullible and struggles through depression.(from Armor Games High (Discussion Thread))
MattEmAngel: You'll be dead before the end of the chapter. Probably by poison, but needles, glass and vehicular manslaughter are all on the table.
R2D21999: Oh the irony.
MattEmAngel: Am I going to be struck by a vehicle? WILL I SHARE THE SAME FATE AS CLEVIS?!
Page 53 because I'm tired of looking at stupid broken Page 52.MattEmAngel
Just to stay relevent, yay Armor Games High, woo, so much cooler than VGHS for serious.
And here's yet another round of quotes, dredged up from all over.
ET! Oh yeah, and Leprechauns. I'm also fairly certain that all Irish people are green.AEtherwing
Fiends: But is it loving to expose children to the predominantly damaging lifestyle of homosexuality?(from Is homosexuality right or wrong?)
FishPreferred: Is it loving to expose them to the dangers of the outside world, like high-density sidewalk traffic, choking hazards, and errant softballs? That's what I want to know.
We should all eat animal waste. Because 50 trillion flies cannot be wrong.Freakenstein
So you support a LAWBREAKING behaviour. This means YOU MUST BE FIRED TOO.twillight2
Gantic after all we've been through, you let him buy you? I offered up all I owned multiple times in hopes that on day you would be my Gantic! And that breakfast would be made by my Gantic, and my clothing washed by my Gantic....and so on and such forth foolishness.skater_kid_who_pwns
Has TerminatorXM214 figured a code out? A categorical, unmistakable admission is somewhat immoderate; yet, it lies amongst perplexing esotericism. Aye!Gantic
Wait wait wait so the part about sacrificing Eliakith to the elder gods was taken out? I guess that's what happens when other people edit. Oh well.StormWalker
Regrettably, he never found the answers to those questions and eventually he died of starvation, because if you drop out of college and blow your tuition money on hallucinogens you just might turn into a destitute ontological basket case.MattEmAngel
Beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder, and a fashionable festive ferret can't escape the allure of half-dead flowers. They are especially easy to hide behind before pouncing.Ferret
FishPreferred: Try using the percussive maintenance pipe-wrench behind the bar. If that doesn't work, I can loan you a plastic fork of arbitrary fine-tuning.(from So this is the tavern...)
09philj: *Looks out of window*
Might be a bit late for that, Fish. We're cruising at 35,000 feet.
FishPreferred: Hmm? I meant for getting the dye off Arm_Candy. What did you think I was talking about?
This angry rant was brought to you by sleep deprivation.Nerdsoft
The Marshmallow Tree is a deciduous tree that typically grows 50-80 ft tall and can reach heights of over 100 ft. It bears spherical marshmallow fruit approximately three inches in diameter that burst open when ripe, leaving the ground around the base of the marshmallow tree covered in a fragrant marshmallow goop in the autumn. Graham Cracker Beasts and other forest creatures with a sweet tooth may get trapped in the marshmallow goop and find that it cannot free itself. Microorganisms break down the bodies of these trapped creatures to provide nutrients for the marshmallow tree.Gantic
I dream about snails with rainbow lasers.StormWalker
Oddly, broken copper appendages may thin lichen and attenuate.Strop
Ahem...Back in the day, we didn't have any of your fancy game gadgets with the touchy screens and the inter-net hookup. To play a vidya game, you had to buy a new manual and some numbered reels for your difference engine and set it up by hand. You controlled it with a row of cranks that turn the columns. The sound was played using a multiple track dict-a-belt and only rich people who could afford vacuum tubes had picture...This was back when them digytal screens were restricted to military use...Of course, even then, the legal vidya gaming age was 39, so not many people would be playin'...as kids...specially since it was punishable by public hangin' and...and - Now what was I on about?FishPreferred
Aah. You kids 'n' yer fancy horseless cairrage contraptions. Who needs 'em! In my day, if you wanted to get somewhere, you'd rent a dirigible and fly over. It cost 3 ha'p'ny per day, but you could take it anywhere and you didn't have to stop to refuel. They were o-course propelled by a fan attached to a bicycle chain, so all you had to do was pedal; not even, if the wind was goin' your way.FishPreferred
You didn't have to worry about missin' the airbus either. If you were late, you just picked up one o' the mile long mooring ropes and put on yer roller-wellies. 'Twas quicker too, as you needn't wait for the ground crew to wrest it down.
In the ephemerality of the sandwich lies its beauty.HahiHa
kalkanadam launches the newest version of Norton antivirus software into the Rift.Gantic
The Rift updates its antivirus software.
Everyone is dead.
Arm_Candy: I know I am a bit late due to my internet failing on me, but congratulations on your promotion!(from Gantic's profile comments)
Gantic: I think, if you look into your heart, that it was you who failed the internet, not the other way around.
GG NO RE WOOD TURN INTO A DESTITUTE ONTOLOGICAL BASKET CASE AGAIN/8Riptizoid101
Ferret: Took me pretty much all lunch.(from Ferret's profile comments)
daleks: Shouldn't you eat lunch during lunch?
Ferret: Not when Quests need solving.
FishPreferred: Uh oh. I can see it now: Ferret spends all day getting some really tough quests. At 9PM he finishes, looks for something to eat, spots an unsuspecting white rabbit...The following morning, spam seekers find that one of the mods is on "vacation" and won't be back for some time.
daleks: No! He cannot eat Gantic!
Someone asked why WERPE's are better. They're capable of surviving under immense amount of emotional and mental stress, enough that would easily crush the average human being with an opinion. They're also capable of retaliating from stinging criticism, sarcasm and even threats unscathed.MattEmAngel
I'm not sure if they're even humans.
Which was ridiculous, because how can anyone mistake ME for a anthro horse in a skin tight, fullbody black "ninja" suit.Cenere
....... Wingpit feathers! :PZophia
Of course, I had to remove one of the jetpack mimes to leave room for the roller coaster, and now the space rhinos are kind of squashed in the corner, but still pretty good on the whole.FishPreferred
Why use either when you can use barbecue sauce like a real American?MattEmAngel
I thought your mom was the natural enemy of the mongoose. Ohhhh! Get it? Because they're Asians and Asians can turn anything into food. Even Manly's single chest hair.R2D21999
Fabulous Thai lady-boys as you've never seen them before!Strop
On pins and needles, but apparently that's because a pincushion is not an actual cushion.FishPreferred
You have to scream while you drive them so pedestrians know you're coming. Every Prius driver who does not do that is driving incorrectly.Arm_Candy
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