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SportShark
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SportShark
2,980 posts
Scribe

I want to be able to drive a Mini Cooper car, but they are tiny cars and I'm 6'6". This is completely unfair! Mini Cooper has absolutely no right to make their cars so small that I can't fit in them. They cater to short people and discriminate against tall people. This causes me pain and suffering. I should sue Mini for millions of dollaz cuz I canst fit my big tall bee-hind unto dem um hum!

  • 14 Replies
09philj
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09philj
2,825 posts
Jester

Minis aren't really that small anymore. The only ones which are really small were designed and built during a fuel crisis to run on as little fuel as possible. New models are the size of most modern "small" cars.

nichodemus
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nichodemus
14,987 posts
Grand Duke

You can engage me as your legal counsel. ^~^

Doombreed
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Doombreed
7,022 posts
Templar

Great. i'll be the bailiff...years of past experience

Arm_Candy
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Arm_Candy
716 posts
Bard

Some satisfied customers around your height have stated that the Mini Cooper is comfortable to drive.

If Dirk Nowitzki can fit into one at 7 feet tall, you as well should be comfortable in one.

https://mediapool.bmwgroup.com/download/edown/pressclub/public?actEvent=zoom&filename=P0015860.JPG

SportShark
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SportShark
2,980 posts
Scribe

Some satisfied customers around your height have stated that the Mini Cooper is comfortable to drive.

If Dirk Nowitzki can fit into one at 7 feet tall, you as well should be comfortable in one.

I've never fit into one before, but if they think I can, they should pay me a hefty sum that includes compensation for travel expenses and expenses for pain and suffering from having to travel to the nearest Mini dealer to test and see if I can actually fit into one.

apldeap123
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apldeap123
1,708 posts
Farmer

Heck, I'm a lawyer. Not only do I protect the accused, I also protect the accusers.

Graham
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Graham
8,052 posts
Nomad

Don't get a mini cooper then you dangus. Get a regular cooper.

apldeap123
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apldeap123
1,708 posts
Farmer

I think it's high time someone made a Super Cooper.

'Introducing the all-new, 2016 Super Cooper! From the producers of the Mini Cooper, it's a 20 foot long car with seating for seven, all-wheel-drive capability, 20-in wheels and an engine that packs 400 hp and 357 lb-ft of torque. Starting at $32,990.'

SportShark
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SportShark
2,980 posts
Scribe

Introducing the all-new, 2016 Super Cooper! From the producers of the Mini Cooper, it's a 20 foot long car with seating for seven, all-wheel-drive capability, 20-in wheels and an engine that packs 400 hp and 357 lb-ft of torque. Starting at $32,990.'

How in the world do you expect me to be able to drift around corners in a car like this?

apldeap123
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apldeap123
1,708 posts
Farmer

How in the world do you expect me to be able to drift around corners in a car like this?

Well, AWD is optional with all models, and RWD is standard equipment, so you can still drift with the Super Cooper.

SportShark
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SportShark
2,980 posts
Scribe

Well, AWD is optional with all models, and RWD is standard equipment, so you can still drift with the Super Cooper.

So what? This ain't nuttin' compared to what I have drawn up in some blueprints! I'm planning to build the biggest and baddest pickup truck ever devised by mankind! Its all on paper still, but I'm playing already planning to make it the most unique vehicle ever. Here's a sneak peak:

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r196/Eye_of_Azure/Mobile%20Uploads/tmp_8498-_20151030_174213-539807497_zpsqbarggno.jpg

Riptizoid101
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Riptizoid101
6,257 posts
Farmer

YEAH SAME MAN I'M TRIGGERED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FishPreferred
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FishPreferred
3,171 posts
Duke

Good luck avoiding potholes with your dash above eye-level. Also, it seems your drive shaft has slipped its belt.

SportShark
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SportShark
2,980 posts
Scribe

Good luck avoiding potholes with your dash above eye-level. Also, it seems your drive shaft has slipped its belt.

Like I said, it's still in the planning phase. Thanks for the feedback though.

Unfortunately, this policy is the result of many Mini Coopers complaining about tall humans forcefully getting inside them. Courts usually side with Coopers to protect them, as more often they are the victims than humans are. Unfortunately, there's more Coopers than there are dwarfs so they have to compromise whether they want it or not.

I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.
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