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Squidlidink's poems that he wrote.

Posted Jul 11, '08 at 11:05pm

squidlidink

squidlidink

460 posts

Through the world

I sat.
The breeze of my outer world
surrounded me,
filled my lungs

I sat on the water's edge
on a rock
where fish
had died of
this world's air

I sat
not looking
not hearing
not tasting or smelling
not feeling
or even thinking

but I sat
looking
hearing
tasting and smelling
feeling
and thinking

not through me,
but
through the world.

Lies

You pushed me down deep
slammed my face into a box
locked it up tight
I could not see you;
you could see me.
you could see the exit
quite clearly.
I could not.
I searched for a hole,
a single ray of light
I found none.
Was there an exit?
Was there a key?
Yes.
You had it.
Only you could open the box;
only you knew the truth.

Perfect is not enough

I live in a cut and paste world.
I say, "I hate this nose! Throw it away!"
"These eyes! They are not lavender
like hers."
"this eyebrow is too short!"
"These lips? Too fat!"
They cut and paste till perfection,
but still,
perfection is not enough.

untitled

I am only what you eyes perceive I am
only what you make of me.
You see my eyes, my face,
but you don't see me.
I am that first flower bud
I am that last snow
the waves of wind in the trees
and the Snow Lion's dark eyes.
However,
your eyes will never
see behind that curtain.
Your eyes will never
see me.

So.... you like?! post comments and criticism. If you think I plagiarized... I did not. Check if you must but I will cry with happiness because I know that this is the highest honor a author can resieve. Thank you all so much for reading.

 

Posted Jul 11, '08 at 11:21pm

Estel

Estel

1,991 posts

Knight

Well they are okay for free verse poems such as these. "Perfect is not enough," in my opinion was the best one because it really speaks the truth, but I think alot more could be added to it. Maybe perfecting your phsycological opinions isn't enough. Actually, that could just be a whole new poem. "Faking is lying in disguise," or something like that.

 

Posted Jul 11, '08 at 11:27pm

eyetwitch

eyetwitch

780 posts

I'm gonna have to agree with ESTEL.
They were decent, but they could be just that much better if they were longer and deeper.  Ecspecially "perfect is not enough". definatly neeeds more.

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 12:59pm

squidlidink

squidlidink

460 posts

Thanks for the input you guys! you are both really nice! :D Tee-hee!

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 4:12pm

squidlidink

squidlidink

460 posts

Again thanks for the input. I wear glasses so...
:8 D Glasses MAN!! woot!

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 4:18pm

florglee2

florglee2

1,864 posts

Huh, maybe i should write peoms instead of shooting the crud outta stuff on video games.

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 4:31pm

squidlidink

squidlidink

460 posts

LOL Fg2! Ps. you spelled poems wrong. POEM.

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 4:46pm

florglee2

florglee2

1,864 posts

right, peom. or poem. meh, im not a very good speller, i'll stick to video games lol

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 8:56pm

lumpiaman510

lumpiaman510

361 posts

untitled is good!

 

Posted Jul 12, '08 at 8:58pm

squidlidink

squidlidink

460 posts

Thanks Lumpia! You are nice! VERY nice

 
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