Armor Games

yes, I sawed him in half just to screw him back together. . .fear me. . .and FRANKENWOODY

X was tired, and lizards were starting to get scarce. To keep his sanity, X had drawn on the jungle wood with the "dark" substance he had found. He had sharpend it on other rocks to make a stick out of it, and used the stick to draw what he had seen. The wastelands had no life, and was very very hot. It was around the same heat inside the jungle, but the jungle was alot more moist. Lips chapped, X  peeked his head outside of the trench. His eyes widened in releif when he saw a little lizard right where he popped out. With a smile on his face, he snatched the lizard like a human and a 100 dollar bill. The lizard squirmed around in his hand for a little, until it eventually tired out. X smashed it with a rock. Happily munching on this raw food, he wondered how he would make it taste better. X wasn't too far from the jungle so he went to grab some different kind of lizards and some water. Pondering whether he should go back, he took some time to make a bowl. The bowl was made of a green round coconut. He put some water inside of the bowl and let it sit there. Thinking as hard as he could, he dropped the lizards inside the bowl. They just pretty much wriggled around when he saw something cool. A small part of the jungle was spurting out really hot air. Knowing that heat is always good, he had put the bowl on the spout. A couple of minutes passed, and all he had left was a shriveled up bowl.
                    +++
    "Eheheheheh, happy to have enlightened you," said Rolith to a different masked faceless. Rolith had jumped on top of the highest skyscraper in the town, and messaged his crew to join him. They all stared down at the once robotic city. The town was extremely chaotic now, and it seems that nothing could change that in the world. "Who might have thought, that a seemingly great city would be so unstable. This is the power of the human race I suppose," Rolith thought out loud.
    "Yes, but with such an unstable enviornment for the humans," Maulj continued, "it could not be helped. The faceless are no match for the humans-"
    "Unless of course they start to think," Rolith smiled, "if the faceless started to think they might uprise and start creating. I'm sure the overlords would not want that to happen.
    "Of course, and they would have gotten a head start!" Anthemia followed.
    "Hrmpf, nik ota or tuga entracala!" said Zorlor, in his native language.
    "Zorlor! We are all for speciesism but that's taking it a bit far now doesn't it?" Rolith said. With a malevolent smile, Rolith ended the meeting.
        +++
    "My masked bretheren, take your masks off and join me! We will fight for freedom, equality, and a stable enviornment!" C yelled out of a megaphone. C was trying to start a riot so the overlords would come, and her plan to take them out would be set into action. As she planned, she started a riot. The constant riots were starting to tear the city apart, and plenty of faceless/masked faceless were getting killed in the pure anger. This was officially a problem.
     +++end of chapter+++

Is anyone out there? I really would like some constructive critisism! This thread is now revived!

*sigh*
bumpity-bump-bump I suppose. . . . .why does no one like mah stories anymore?

OMG! I forgot about you thoad! (wow that sounded mean) But I did like it......and still do. (:

LOL, that really did sound mean ^^U. I'm updating this weekly (at the latest amount), so always be looking for this on the thingamajigerbobber.

Hm, I did promise you some crtitique, did I not?
I would have liked some more details, or telling. The way you tell it reminds me a little of fairy tales told by grand parents. Only the most important is told, and that is the way the story floats.
You could make it much more interesting, if you sat down and concentrated on showing the plot more than telling. Make the reader part of the story, let him or her float along while the story continues.

Yeah, almost unintentionally I started off with the 3rd person point of view, which gives the story less interactivity, but I don't know how to change that without drastically altering the beginning of the story. I kinda intended the format to be like a person was telling the story, hence the third person view I s'pose.  P.S. there are a couple main characters: X, C, and Roliths gang. So it really doesn't have a his/her category.

Third person is the easiest view to write from. That is what I do. Technically I think you should skip the telling, but still keep the third person.
I do not know how to explain, so example from the text you have seen earlier:
The tall buildings parted to give room for a major rubbish dump. From all sides light came down from great floodlights, and the metallic surface of every thing in the dump shone. No garbage was to be seen, the only thing making it real was the spots of rust on the parts in the bottom.Each scene should be presented in a way that make the reader picture it in his or her head. The boy trotted closer, curiosity taking over. So much shiness. Little traits like this takes us closer to the character, feeling more at home with the personality. Kai stooped, picking up a piece of metal. Wires stuck out from one end, and the other were nice and smooth, rounded. It had joints, able to bend like... He flung it away, shocked. This was not a rubbish dump... This was a freakin' robot graveyard! Mystery solved with somewhat of a comic relief.
The automatic finger hit what might have been a chest with a loud tune. Barking erupted from several places, and this time it didn't stay were it was but came rapidly closer. Action? Having been involved with watch dogs too many times he knew there were no reason to hide. It would only make it easier for the dogs to attack and he would not be able to fight back. Again, this tells us something about the character. He have been in trouble before, maybe? The boy listened to the approaching barks, empty eyes upon the mountain of dead robots. That might be the solution. Instinct/wondering. What might be the solution? He focused on the starting hill and went for it. Somewhere in his mind a warning yell was made, but he did not listen. Climbing up the metallic leftovers he heard the barks come closer, and then the dogs trying to follow him. Is this even a good idea? And an example of ways to discribe the same thing.
Getting a grip in this tangled pile of big slippery plates and small loose gadgets was hard. Halfway up he slipped, sliding down the robot parts, desperately trying to stop the motion. Suspense. Suspense is ideal, if you do not know how to write action filled stories.

thanks cenere, but somehow I don't think my inability to use showing language will ever stop :(. Thanks for the critique though!