hey guys i wrote a new song and i just wanted to know if its good.so please read and rate.
Sometimes
Some things i cannot just explain. They make me wanna complain. To everything,for everything. Somehow i try to make it up. But then it all screws up again. Everytime,all the time.
And i wish you could understand. But no!You canât!
(chorus) Sometimes i think youâre sick of me. Sometimes i feel like falling from everything. Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast). And sometimes i think youre bored with me. Sometimes i think that you canât feel. Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).
This fact can make me wanna cry. I feel like i could just die. Just right now,right now. But then i think it is a lie. So now to calm down i try. Itâs so hard,very hard!
And i wish you could understand. But no!You canât!
(chorus) Sometimes i think youâre sick of me. Sometimes i feel like falling from everything. Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast). And sometimes i think youre bored with me. Sometimes i think that you canât feel. Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).
Sometimes i wanna scream(wanna scream)! I just wanna leave!
(chorus)x2 Sometimes i think youâre sick of me. Sometimes i feel like falling from everything. Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast). And sometimes i think youre bored with me. Sometimes i think that you canât feel. Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).
Just like iâm a piece of toast.
It is my first song and i wrote it at 1 oâ clock in the morning yesterday so rate fairly!
Hmmm, well I'd first say that you aren't exactly going deep lyric wise. It just seems too....ordinary. The toast part had me laughing, but doesn't really fit into the song.
Is this supposed to be a serious, or comedic song?
8/10 Pretty good, but I don't get the piece of Toast thing.
Also, has anyone else wondered Why some people's forum apostrophes go crazy?
Example:
Just like i�m a piece of toast(a piece of toast). Just like i�m a piece of toast. It is my first song and i wrote it at 1 o� clock in the morning yesterday so rate fairly!
I can't really rate it if it's just words, though.
It's alright, I can't get a real concept for it, cause right now I'm reading it as a poem of some sort, it may help to give some sort of background to what the music around the words would sound like, but I'm nt very good at reading poems either, so I doubt it would help o_o
Good. 8/10
Take your game comment elsewhere lol, on the forums we write REAL posts! XD
So yeah, I'd say, around 8/10, the toast makes up 5 out of all of that, cause toast is cool. lol.
