ForumsArt, Music, and WritingRate my song please

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melina1117
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melina1117
214 posts
60

hey guys i wrote a new song and i just wanted to know if its good.so please read and rate.

Sometimes

Some things i cannot just explain.
They make me wanna complain.
To everything,for everything.
Somehow i try to make it up.
But then it all screws up again.
Everytime,all the time.

And i wish you could understand.
But no!You canât!

(chorus)
Sometimes i think youâre sick of me.
Sometimes i feel like falling from everything.
Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).
And sometimes i think youre bored with me.
Sometimes i think that you canât feel.
Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).

This fact can make me wanna cry.
I feel like i could just die.
Just right now,right now.
But then i think it is a lie.
So now to calm down i try.
Itâs so hard,very hard!

And i wish you could understand.
But no!You canât!

(chorus)
Sometimes i think youâre sick of me.
Sometimes i feel like falling from everything.
Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).
And sometimes i think youre bored with me.
Sometimes i think that you canât feel.
Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).

Sometimes i wanna scream(wanna scream)!
I just wanna leave!

(chorus)x2
Sometimes i think youâre sick of me.
Sometimes i feel like falling from everything.
Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).
And sometimes i think youre bored with me.
Sometimes i think that you canât feel.
Just like iâm a piece of toast(a piece of toast).

Just like iâm a piece of toast.

It is my first song and i wrote it at 1 oâ clock in the morning yesterday so rate fairly!

  • 20 Replies
kiddslayer12
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kiddslayer12
70 posts
60

yeah there is no rythm/beat to go to, or a common tune, or song

Rockingkid45
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Rockingkid45
35 posts
20

I Dont think that the lyrics are vary good but if you were to put some interesting pitches and rythums it could be vary interesting!

thepyro222
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thepyro222
2,156 posts
910

5/10 I don;t like the piece of toast line. You have really good symbolism, but then the toast thing ruins it.

thoadthetoad
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thoadthetoad
5,655 posts
1,205

good execpt for the piece of toast thing.

Stormchaser
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Stormchaser
281 posts
500

It seems like a ok song. The piece of toast thing wasn't that great.
7/10

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