ForumsArt, Music, and Writingmade a song

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137 posts
Peasant

Every one i made this song i hope you like it



its called "Behind Bars"

(Intro)
I am behind bars for somthing i didnt do. i feel depressed i was framed man no one belevies me


Chorus x2

Its just another day Behind Bars
just anotha day
what can say
from september to may
a bunch of years.... behind bars
behind bars
behind bars
behind bars
behind bars
behind....bars
(Verse1)

I am goige to be here til i die
dats no lie
it makes me want to cry
i fell like i am goige to die
the worlds hates me why
i am just sitting here with a sigh
behind bars
with a bunch of scars
emotionoly
i am inoccent dont you see

(Chorusx2)

(Verse2)

Im doing time
i didnt do no crime
im sitting in my sell hearinf the rain
and i am fealing pain
it was a frame
i didt hurt any one
dont you belive me


(Chorusx2)

  • 7 Replies
crimsonblade55
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crimsonblade55
5,440 posts
Farmer

It could use a spell check, but I like it.One thing I found about it though is that it feels kinda short.

MarkedTarget6
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MarkedTarget6
1,707 posts
Shepherd

teh behind bars part is kinda TOO pepitive for one at a time but overall it was good but short

MarkedTarget6
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MarkedTarget6
1,707 posts
Shepherd

i meant repitive not pepitive

RaptorExx
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RaptorExx
2,210 posts
Blacksmith

repetative? or is that actually pepitive?
Anyways, I sorta got a happy musical background, like a Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, very similar actually, when reading the song...how weird.

Although I know it's not supposed to be like that, unless it was, but it's a good song, the 'behind bars' is a little repatative, my Mr. Rogers Version would've been good with 3 or 4(Chorus: Line 5-7) so it kinda messed it up a little in the beginning, unless that was a fade away type thing, then I think it would work. So yeah, good one there.

crazynaitor
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crazynaitor
2,646 posts
Peasant

It is like too repitive but I give it 7/10

Danstanta
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Danstanta
1,714 posts
Jester

Are you a singer ? You sure sound like one, Great work!

hitmanvp95
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hitmanvp95
1,092 posts
Peasant

cool!!!!i give it 8/10!!!nice work!!!

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