...and Murphy's law.
Teacher: Okay, class. Your final draft is due in two days, so make sure you finish it up alright, and turn it in to turnitin.com, okay? Class dismissed.
*Johnny and Sally walk home*
Sally: I already finished my research paper. You done yet?
Johnny: No, not yet. I'm gonna finish it tomorrow.
Sally: Okay, but don't forget to turn it in to turnitin.-
Johnny: Yeah yeah yeah. Got that.
*The next day*
Sally: Um, you know the paper's due tomorrow, right?
Johnny: Yeah, I'm almost finished.
*All of a sudden Johnny trips and breaks his leg*
Ahhh! My leg!
*Johnny is rushed to the hospital, and his mom brings over his laptop so he can finish his paper, which MUST be turned in on the due date, no exceptions (seriously)*
Johnny: Thanks, mom. You'll come by to take it to school tomorrow for me, right?
Mom: Yes, of course.
*Two hours later Johnny finishes his paper and calls his mom*
Mom: Yes, I"m coming righ- *crashing noises*
Johnny: Mom! What happened? Mom? *click* Mom!
*A moment later his dad calls*
Dad: Johnny, Mom just got in a car accident, so I'm coming to get your paper - OH MY GOSH! We're being held up, there's a guy here, at the bank, with a gun an- *shooting noises then, click*
*Sally calls*
Sally: Johnny, I saw it on the news! YOur mom got in a 24 car pile-up and your dad wad severly injured at a bank robbery! Who will turn your paper in?
Johnny: will you do it?
Sally: Of course I wi- *strangled scream, then click*
Johnny: Why am I not surprised?
*Moments later, he receives another call*
???:Is this Johnny?
Johnny:...yes? Who is this?
???:I've just kidnapped your girlfriend...(what was your name?) Sally
Sally (faintly): He's not my boyfriend!
Kidnapper: (shut up!) And for some reason, I"m asking you for a ransom instead of her parents.
Johnny: oh, um, sure, but I really needed her to turn in my research paper, so could you do that for me?
Kidnapper: Sure. Make sure to turn it in to turnitin.com. I'llb e there in an hour.
*Johnny watches the news while he waits. He hears a story about a major kidnapping chain being found out, but unfortunatly the last 50 children they kidnapped were shipped to the Phillipines, and most of the kidnappers were arrested*
JOhnny: Dang. Now I"ll have to turn in my paper myself! That's okay, I can still limp.
*all of a sudden an earthquake occurs and one of the ceiling tiles falls on Johnny's legs, severing them*
Johnny: AHHH! Oh, no! Well, I still have arms, I can drag mysel-
*A tile falls on his arm*
Well, I can still crawl with my other ar-
*A tile falls on his other arm*
Well...(sigh) Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
*Johnny grabs the manuscript in his teeth and begins to roll out of the hospital, down the street, miles away to the school. He makes it just in time for English.*
Johnny (spitting out the papers): Well, I got it to you, teach.
Teacher: Excelent. Surprise, surprise, you were able to turn yours in and Sally didn't. Did you turn it in to turnitin.com?
Johnny:...
Moral of the story? SOmetime English really sucks.