Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
oh god why do I have those typos always :P
so it should be
I still hear the buzz
maybe there are more...just can't seem to find them now
I swim my way
Through the bubbly cold sea
Every stroke cautious
The sharks prey on me.
Astray from my school,
As scared as can be
If I wasn't so colourful
You'd see straight through me.
Blinded and frightened
Around me's all dark
What's that in the distance?
OH SNAP! It's a shark!
I try to be brave
Keep my eyes open wide...
Face it! I'm a fish!
Who cares if I died!
The shark smells my scent
My courage fades out
What to do now...
Should I scream, hide, or shout?
I try to escape,
But the shark cuts my path
I start to imagine
My personal bloodbath
"OH GOD HELP ME HELP ME!"
I yell in pure fear
The shark looms above me
I'm SO outta here!
The shark snaps me up
In one quick and short motion
I give a scream
Heard throughout the whole ocean
I think this is probably
My very last night
I'm in the shark's mouth
Dodging teeth left and right
A sudden jolt upward
Makes me jump in surprise
What in the world
Made this massive shark rise?
There's that feeling of falling
Then men's voices are heard
Forcefully, the shark's mouth opens
And I hear "Oh my word!"
A hand pulls me out
But I don't even care
I'm turning blue
'Cause there ain't any air!
I'm face to face with a man
Who holds me close to his eye
He gives a huge laugh
Then throws me into the sky
If my friends were all here
I'm wave a good bye
then again, they'd all say
LOL! Fish can cry?!
My eyes grow gigantic
Like round dinner plates
As I land in the water
to see my school mates
Everyone looks at me
Like I'm some sort of bird
You know what I said?
"Well...that was absurd!"
A fresh, hot, steaming plate 'o judging is coming up this weekend! Just keeping you guys posted, and also announcing that entries are officially closed.
Uhh, as far as I know, I'm still the judge >_>
Have you not noticed that I've been running the poetry contest for the past month, or were you confused by my wording? Lol.
The vast ocean beats our pulse,
It is our heart,
Right from the start.
Life is nowhere without our proud waters,
Everlasting peace,
It shall never cease.
It takes no lives without warning,
No one dies unaware,
Nothing is a scare.
The ocean supplies the vast weather,
Forever spinning,
Lacking a beginning.
Everything is born from the ocean,
Everything brought forth,
Circulating north.
It shall not end within my life,
This I will assure,
I shall make it secure.
Orion, I will accept that entry because it is within my three hour grace period after entries are closed. You are very lucky, but make sure you post your poem earlier in the future.
And yes, I'm Alt.
I think we figured that, I don't names sound that similar by coincidence. Plus I follow Gibbs' rule #39 There is no such thing as coincidences.
oh no i didn't notice that at all. whoops. and is it 2moro? or what?
hmmm..."judging coming up this weekend" he said....lol...someone has taken an extended weekend...taking care of the hang over before judging...and he's a minor and all :P
hopefully you judge soon alt...so we can get started with a new theme
. . . to the judging table so he can get the contest judged!
Shut up, Dan >_>
Nah, I'm not a fan of alcohol. A nice Shiraz or Merlot(I like Australian ones) sip from my dad's wine glass is always a welcome thing, though. And also, I was thinking Dan (DDX) would mention the possible sexual reference in my last post, so I double-posted to make up for it, lol.
Judging! This one is gonna be a runner-up and a top two. WE got a lot of entries this time around.
A'ight, one runner-up and a top two. I'm stressed out a lot(my aunt's brain tumor is flaring up again, kthx) so yeah.
Teeheegirl - The Ocean is Crazeh
I swim my way
Through the bubbly cold sea
Every stroke cautious
The sharks prey on me.
Astray from my school,
As scared as can be
If I wasn't so colourful
You'd see straight through me.
Blinded and frightened
Around me's all dark
What's that in the distance?
OH SNAP! It's a shark!
I try to be brave
Keep my eyes open wide...
Face it! I'm a fish!
Who cares if I died!
The shark smells my scent
My courage fades out
What to do now...
Should I scream, hide, or shout?
I try to escape,
But the shark cuts my path
I start to imagine
My personal bloodbath
"OH GOD HELP ME HELP ME!"
I yell in pure fear
The shark looms above me
I'm SO outta here!
The shark snaps me up
In one quick and short motion
I give a scream
Heard throughout the whole ocean
I think this is probably
My very last night
I'm in the shark's mouth
Dodging teeth left and right
A sudden jolt upward
Makes me jump in surprise
What in the world
Made this massive shark rise?
There's that feeling of falling
Then men's voices are heard
Forcefully, the shark's mouth opens
And I hear "Oh my word!"
A hand pulls me out
But I don't even care
I'm turning blue
'Cause there ain't any air!
I'm face to face with a man
Who holds me close to his eye
He gives a huge laugh
Then throws me into the sky
If my friends were all here
I'm wave a good bye
then again, they'd all say
LOL! Fish can cry?!
My eyes grow gigantic
Like round dinner plates
As I land in the water
to see my school mates
Everyone looks at me
Like I'm some sort of bird
You know what I said?
"Well...that was absurd!"
Your command of rhythm is truly acrobatic in this poem. Almost every stanza has a perfect flow to it, and it had a whimsical, epic poem feel to it.
2nd place
Crouton(Fallen)'s poem . . . Water-Filled Hourglass!
They stare at the blue sky, standing in the azure
They wait for it to be obscured by a shadow
In the refracted light, they wait for the future
One where they will be more to enjoy the sorrow
They remember the shores; the last soil that they saw
For they now are a part of the waves, of the tide
They roll in and out too, in the hourglass they hide
Waiting for a black spot to feed their growing awe
For the ocean it gives but also takes away
The unsuspecting ones, they will wind up as prey
A boat on the surface, a God is seen below
They wait in reverence, they can't pray, they can't bow
Longing for sleep to come, will the hourglass be turned
How many will it take for God to be burdened
Time is measured by them, the sons of the waters
Ghost towns in the ocean, villages of dreamers
I enjoyed the combination of the expressive vocabulary and oceanic rhythm. I also noticed how the perceived length of the lines is longer at the top and bottom, and a bit shorter in the middle . . . denoting an hourglass? Intentional or not, it magnifies the depth of the poem. The rhythm is lilting enough to be like the ocean, whcih I also liked.
And the winner is . . . .
PARSAAAT!!!! Some people's favorite Asian poet takes home another win with an impressive poem called 'The Old Man at the Wharf.'
Red lanterns, they have disappeared
Behind the swirling mist.
Now there was but blue regrets
Of home that he now missed.
And sick was he, complexion green,
No ginger now his stomach soothe.
Wished he now that ocean waves
Might pacify and smooth.
His babe was born in far Toisan
Though he could never know.
His wife died in delivery;
Her husband had his woes.
A scraggly boat now paddled in
To Golden Mountain's harbor.
But riches here were naught to find
For life here was much harder.
There were no mountains glittering
Or riches one would think.
But there was a land of racism:
Of "Chinamen" and "ch1nks."
One hardened day of bitterness
A letter came from home.
He burnt it, and his tidal tears
Now brimm'd like ocean foam.
But human spirit does not die
Nor distant memory.
And that is why that old man there
Is crying to the sea.
I'm not sure what I can say about this. It may be that I'm biased towards your style or something, but the overall feel of the poem - the lilting, ballad meter, the great rhymes, the tone - that really hits me. You don't like dark poetry very much, but you're able to practically do a one-legged sideways moonwalk right on the line between melancholy and melodramatic without falling a step out of line, and you show that here. Also, the way you refer to the old man at the end really hammers it home - as if you're talkingto a new resident of this wharf town and you're talking about the man. That puts things on a more personal level, which in turn puts the poem on another level I like to call first place. Go get your merit~
New Theme: Temperature(hot, cold, anything you like)
Deadline: Friday, May 20 (I want two weeks this time :P)
Thread is locked!