Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
Hurry Up Stropsie!
I want to see what I come...if I come first I am going to kill you!
KingRyan
Right. There is nothing (or nearly nothing) subtle about the poetry form of the limerick. It's crude, it's lewd (not on this forum, but take my word for it, it's very lewd), and it's full of stuff that makes you say "duuuuude..."
...see what I'm trying to demonstrate here is that the art of spitting out a limerick is actually quite difficult. I go on and on and on about the importance of being able to balance rhyme with sentence structure and coherence and in this form, where the rhyme scheme pretty much makes the structure, this is of instrumental importance. Success in this regard was mixed, and so the placement depended nearly solely on both your ability to do this as well as thematic consistency. Keep practicing! It is good for your language skill.
Grand Winner: Zootsuit_Riot
Poetry is very subtle;
When it clicks, it's like popping a bubble.
Those who don't get it,
May choose to forget it.
They say it's not worth the trouble.
I picked the first one as it had an acceptable rhythm and packs a greater punch as simile was more appropriate than metaphor in this case. See how it flows and it centers around one idea, without using any extraneous ideas? Extra points here for the subject matter- this is truly a step above.
Congratulations, Zootsuit, you have won a merit! Just message me on my profile and I will make it so.
Second Place: mvpguy22
There was a lass called Ms. Pocket,
She loved to light big rockets,
With a BAM KA-BOOM,
And a lot of fumes,
Her eyes flew out of their sockets.
This is a classic limerick, and I'll have you know it was a close contest between this and first place. I liked this one because it has everything a slapstick limerick should have, from the exposition to the sound effect and the somewhat gross ending. In these respects, it's almost perfect!
Third Place: Lynoth
So close! Superb setup and everything...but that last line is dreadfully difficult to sort out.
There once was a dancing man
When he'd dance he'd often land
On his large behind
Which seemed to mind
So in foam he covered its span
"So he covered its span in foam" would have made a better punchline but would ruin the rhyme. What to do, then? ...I can't think of anything but if you can, please tell us!
And now for...well instead of the usual honorable mentions, I'm going to, for this round, show you something called the Hall of Oddities!
Hall of Random Punchlines
Cholokid: "He had a sweaty armpit." Thanks, we really wanted to know...that...
Adrecka_33: "Stupidly you stare/Like a little mare/Tell i spray you with mace" sniff...that makes ninja pony sad.
Jediboy277: "and then exploded with a sigh!" I didn't know that was even possible!
fst6: "His ninja feet make a clop clop" Yeah, I gotta admit. I'm really cool and stuff but probably not cool enough for that to make a punchline...unlike the time where Mr Burns shuts down TV and starts up his own comedy show where even his appearance on set raises a laugh. "Honey, I'm home!" *laugh* "...already?" *laugh*...
Hall of Almost Greats
ManUtd4life096: I think I mentioned earlier that your limerick could have been totally awesome if changed but the change would require the limerick to be too inappropriate for AG...I will hint at what I mean:
Ever since John was a baby,
His family branded him crazy,
His mates thought him wussy,
They then saw...(you fill out the rest),
And realized he was a lady!
And remember. I didn't say that, no sir I did not!
Shayneii: The idea was awesome, but if you had just changed one line (and a couple of details) it would be epic win-
There once was a man named Joe,
With his stomach, he had a bad row.
Like the cough of a moose,
He let one loose,
And flattened his house with the blow!
And of course, the entries vying for Dishonorable Mention, because silly me, I've encouraged people to become competitive on this front. What have I done...
Kingryan aka bogan:
There once was a man,
who lived in a dingy can.
He had few mates,
And Victoria was his state,
And so he was a bogan!
Did you know there's a TV show on SBS called Bogan Pride? The horror!
And the unusually cruel offering from Pazx, aka noob:
Strop is a ninja, so bad on AG,
He lets in much spam, that we all can see,
He FAILS, and dies,
with no single try,
And I'll get banned for this, you'll see.
Gee, which do I pick? Do I pick the one that reads worse or the one that is more full of fail? To be honest none of these really had much zing in them :P So how about this? I'll give Kingryan the DM, and ban Pazx from AG for a day?
Nah, just kidding. This week the dishonorable mention goes to Pazx because he was trying way too hard to get it...and that's made of fail :P Sorry Kingryan, that's what you get for being a bogan!
Pazx, your forfeit is for every post you make for the next week, you must add a signature at the bottom that says this:
---
Strop says I fail
AND SO IT ENDS!
Now I shall decide your next theme...something that enables us to break away from this mindset...I know!
Theme: Drinking Tea
Deadline: Saturday 8th November
Now go meditate upon those vapors!
I promised myself that I wouldn't look at any of the competitions at all while NaNo was going on, but geez... you just had to pick that topic. -.-
It's crude, it's lewd (not on this forum, but take my word for it, it's very lewd)
Hehe...There was a girl from Nantucket....
Yay, Hall of Almost Greats! xD
Anyways... drinking tea... this is difficult. Lol.
Sweet Sorrow
Ten years for one cup
Most fragrant
Ten seconds for one sip
Most tentative
Ten minutes for one gulp
Most slaking
Ten hours for one teapot
Most bittersweet
Ten years for one cupWow, that is AWESOME!!!
Most fragrant
Ten seconds for one sip
Most tentative
Ten minutes for one gulp
Most slaking
Ten hours for one teapot
Most bittersweet
Nice work everyone and keep it up! =D
Boston Tea Party!
In Boston,
The price for tea was so high
The people screamed and cried
So they swore up and down
That tea would not touch there lips
Until the price of it dips
The Princes refused, the kings only laughed
The princesses & queens waited for the after math
This people got mad and new
There was something they had to do
So they got together and made a plan
And went down to the ships by the sand
On the boat they crept, without making a peep
And took the tea, dumping it into the ocean deep
Not only that but they took some tea
And drank the night away by the sea
As you can see the kings took a look
And decided that things had to be for shook
So they lowered the price of tea
And the people scream in joys praise
They drank tea all night, walking around in a daze
That Day we all know of as the Boston tea party parade
Or so some sayâ¦
Sorta dumb, It was just the first thing I thought of. Hope you like it. I know i am not that good at ryming so i apoligze for that.
Congrats to Zootsuit_Riot for winning!
And Strop, I thought you would've added a new rule by now: no teasing Strop.
I'm off to my corner to think about my poem. No peeking!
Wow, this is a different topic. I'm usually pretty good with poems, but I don't think I have writtin anything about drinking tea yet... I'll have to go check my stash to see what I can dig up.
Pazx, aka noob:
*waves* yay! That's me! wait... you called me a noob...
Nah, just kidding. This week the dishonorable mention goes to Pazx because he was trying way too hard to get it..
Actually, I wasn't. I wrote the poem, and b/c kingryan wouldn't shut it with the DM I decided that maybe I should go for the DM.
Pazx, your forfeit is for every post you make for the next week, you must add a signature at the bottom that says this:
---
Strop says I fail
ahh, toché.
My entry might have something to do with to bogans... drinking tea...
---
Strop says I fail
Tea, so elegant, yet drunk out a cup
Either with your pinky out
Or your chin pointed up
And with flavors, too many
Too many to choose
I look at them all and can't pick any
What is the fuss about tea?
It's just a drink, I really don't get it
Yet tea has such a history
Tea, tea why does it attract you?
I see nothing great abount the drink
Yet everyone fusses about the brew
So next time you grab a cup of tea
Put it down because
When you remember my story...
You will laugh at how pointless tea really is!
How people fought over it
And all it does is make you whiz!
Thread is locked!