Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
conciousness is what you are,
living, breathing, until you are KNOCKED UNCONCIOUS!!!!
THEN YOU HAVE NO CONCIOUSNESS!!!
AHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!
this poem makes no sense, and that's why i wrote it....
AND TO KNOCK YOU ALL UNCONCIOUS!!
Ourself's
The awareness of being alive
Feeling the beat of your heart
To hear and see the world as it is
Knowing that you exist
That you are, but will not always be
Feeling the presence of yourself
To think, to feel, to wonder, to ask
Knowing that you are you and no one else
The awareness of something for what it is
This is what we call Consciousness
I am here! To do the judging!
But first, I want to respond to something:
Consciousness is such an ill-defined (read "hilosphical" term, I'd be surprised if Strop could give a definition.
I'll tell you what inspired this conversation: one of our senior consultant neurosurgeons wanted to introduce the topic of consciousness to us, so he asked us "can somebody give me a definition?"
Nobody replied, so I stuck my hand up and said, "I would like to clarify- are you referring to consciousness, the state, or the process?"
I have a little casual philosophy of mind background, so I'm familiar with the debates regarding consciousness. If you want a more detailed discussion though, I would recommend Moegreche as he's doing significant work on this. Due to my medical education, I'd say I most recently took a leaf out of Dennett's book, and consolidated my position down to this:
Consciousness (the process) is self-validating: it compels you to believe that you are conscious
I've found it immensely helpful in judging the import of consciousness in the context of our other processes, especially now that I'm doing neurology.
Grr...Annoying parents...making me go to bed before the judging is complete...
Ah well...Will have to check in the morning before school...
KingRyan
I am. Just have to get back from class is all. I've half-finished my notes in notepad.
Strop, this is dragging on waay too long. We're already on Thursday, and we still haven't got the results.
I know.
The judging may have to be slightly brief, in this case. My exams are approaching and so I'm getting squeezed for thinking space. I was even going to try to write a poem along the lines of the theme but heck, that's not happening.
I picked the theme Drinking Tea because it evokes reflection, and this is something that most contestants have picked up on, whether it be through time or sensation. Others yet have picked on the cultural airs associated with 'drinking tea'. But within these there is a unique quality to each and every entry, which is particularly notable. Also notable is the disturbing amount of bathos that went into these entries...in this case I mean that a tone was built up but many just folded, as if they did not want to seem overly reverent!
I'll go straight to the judging and explain later:
Grand Winner: Parsat- The Lowly Shrub
What was the shrub that quenched ten thousand thirsts?
Was the leaf that fell into the cauldron first
Green, or autumn yellow as that bronze that gleamed?
Did the leaf cry as its life ebbed in the steam
Imparting its blood in bitter streams?
Or did it resign into its fate
Stoic 'til the end, its countenance sedate?
What love was this, that the life of one
Should satisfy the desires of a million?
I think of all the poems here, I would call this one the most vibrant. Congratulations, Parsat, you have won the merit for the round! If you would message me, I will handle the rest.
Second Place: Cenere
Waiting
Waiting for the
Water
Boiling water float over
Floating over leaves
Leaves from different plants
that gives off smell
No real taste
Just smell
Sweet
Remember the sugar
Always remember the
Sugar
One of the schools of thought on drinking tea (I'm talking out my butt here but anyway) is that the spiritual nature of it is a deeply personal one. Here, we see the stream of consciousness of a person, vague and bleary and somnolent. Stream of consciousness seems like such an easy thing to write but to do so convincingly is very difficult. But here, I am quite well convinced.
Third Place: Gantic
Sweet Sorrow
Ten years for one cup
Most fragrant
Ten seconds for one sip
Most tentative
Ten minutes for one gulp
Most slaking
Ten hours for one teapot
Most bittersweet
A true tea connoiseur will tell you of the many timeframes the significance of tea spans, from the histories of years, to the moments one can too easily take for granted.
The Hall of Honorable Mentions (and Oddities)
The History Channel: Adrecka33 wrote quite the fantastical historical poem, which I found particularly entertaining. I am not entirely sure if his version of events correlates with my version of events but either way!
Diuretic Didacts: ArmorHero, jediboy277. These people couldn't help but note that tea "makes you whiz"...with great glee!
Obsessive Onomatopoeiacs: Zootsuit_riot, ManUtd4Life096. Between the dripping and the splashing and the frothing and the steaming, I'm sure the spillage from your words alone could produce a cup of tea in itself!
Sorrowful Souls: mentorso123, for being allergic to tea, he is denied the peace that tea might hold for him. kingryan, for being an old bogan stuck in a nursing home. mvpguy22 for realising that he cannot drink his tea and have it too :P
And finally the Poem that Made Me Say Whut: _kolak_
Sitting by the warm,tolerant sea
The water winding between my toes
I wish I had a cup of tea
Little flys tickling my nose
All of my tea is gone
I drank it all
Now I am tired
I just yawned
I bet you just said whut too, right? xD
Unfortunately there was no poem transgressional enough for me to nominate a Dishonorable Mention. But you could always try again next week!
I realise now that I'm going to have an extremely difficult time judging the poems on consciousness, but I picked the topic!
The deadline may be extended depending on the number of entries and how many people complain that the competition is going too slowly.
This topic is indeed nasty, but only because it's so abstract. I'll have to ponder on it for a while.
Congrats Parsat! That poem is a beauty.
Well...now to think about the next theme. I have no idea what to do. Thanks a bunch, Strop!
here is my submission to the poetry contest called Consciousness
THROUGH THE WORLD
I sat.
The breeze of my outer world
surrounded me,
filled my lungs
I sat on the water's edge
on a rock
where fish
had died of
this world's air
I sat
not looking
not hearing
not feeling
tasting or smelling
or even thinking
But I sat
looking
hearing feeling
tasting smelling
and thinking
not through my own body
but
through the world
Conscious
I was con-sci-ous.
So I did walk into a bar.
I was un-con-scious.
A Haiku lol...and I wasn't trying to write one...
Note that the first lines 'conscious' is separated...and the last line isn't. As in...con-SI-ous...rather than un-CON-shus.
Hmm...
KingRyan
Thread is locked!