Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
My dog bit me,
So I kicked it into my neighbor's lawn.
Now I've been charged with animal abuse, to the highest degree.
My cat scratched my leg,
So I chopped it's tail off.
My new roommate is now some convict named Greg.
My dog drank from the toilet,
So now I don't flush when I take a dump.
Now I have to bear with the smell, making me upset.
My cat had lots of babies,
So I stepped on all of their infant heads.
Apparently, now these actions are considered atrocities.
I hate pets,
They just get me in trouble.
So now I'm spending my time in prison, full of regrets.
---
....um....I guess it's still about cats and dogs, right? O.o
The dog looked at me,
Then the dog growled.
The cat saw the dog,
They fought for a while.
Like the light and dark,
A never-ending brawl.
The dog while bark,
The cat will crawl.
They bite,
They strike,
They swipe,
They fight.
They are evenly matched in wisdom and might.
The eternal war continues
For milennia and century.
To each other the abuse,
It's complicated yet elementary.
You may think but this,
That they will never stop.
Their motives are amiss,
Fighting from ground to treetop.
As this battle rages,
Animals are in a fit.
Not swordsman or sages,
Could make the two sit.
This is feeling redundant,
Going on and on.
And from my judgement,
They should GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
fl;ajkdkljf;alk
Sorry for the double post, had to make some changes.
And SilentQ, that was pretty arsum.
The dog looked at me,
Then the dog growled.
The cat saw the dog,
They fought for a while.
Like the light and dark,
A never-ending brawl.
The dog while bark,
The cat will crawl.
They bite,
They strike,
They swipe,
They fight.
They are evenly matched in wisdom and might.
The eternal war continues,
For milennia and century.
To each other they abuse,
It's complicated, yet elementary.
You may think but this,
That they will never stop.
Their motives are amiss,
Fighting from ground to treetop.
As this battle rages,
Animals are in a fit.
Not swordsman nor sages,
Could make the two sit.
This is feeling redundant,
Going on and on.
And from my judgement,
They should GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
Righto, here's the judging.
Gold Medal
The dog looked at me,
Then the dog growled.
The cat saw the dog,
They fought for a while.
Like the light and dark,
A never-ending brawl.
The dog while bark,
The cat will crawl.
They bite,
They strike,
They swipe,
They fight.
They are evenly matched in wisdom and might.
The eternal war continues,
For milennia and century.
To each other they abuse,
It's complicated, yet elementary.
You may think but this,
That they will never stop.
Their motives are amiss,
Fighting from ground to treetop.
As this battle rages,
Animals are in a fit.
Not swordsman nor sages,
Could make the two sit.
This is feeling redundant,
Going on and on.
And from my judgement,
They should GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
by Whimsyboy
Silver Medal
Obedient and loyal.
Independent and agile.
The dog and the cat.
Each has their own "style".
We all know the dog.
Man's best friend.
They are so loyal,
They'll stay 'till the end.
Cat's are free-living.
They are independent.
Though they will stay attached,
And helping is their intent.
Whichever you like,
reflects upon you.
If you live with one,
You will see it too.
by TheCheeseMaker
Bronze Medal
The Apocalypse
Like a mind can lose control,
Like a body can lose a soul,
Evil takes a backward glance,
Good takes its lifeless trance.
Just hearing the bloody screaming,
You wake up and see you're dreaming.
Insane insane bloody horror,
Insane, its insane, complete terror.
What is not seen, it lost control,
What is not seen, Lucifer's soul.
Seeing ones life, fade away,
Screaming forgiveness everyday,
Granted, God takes your life,
The world is done and rid of strife.
Sweet greatness, it takes our way,
Sweet nightmares, drift away.
Nightmarish demons, are rid of thee,
What is there, we cannot see.
A sweet life is given back,
An evil soul will fade to black.
What we see, are two oppose,
But we sit in Hell, all knows,
In Heaven life fades and dies,
Holocaust of evil, spreading lies.
Just like horror, Hell will end,
Hell Lucifer will defend.
Heaven's angels let down wrath,
The Apocalypse, our destined path.
Man has caused all this,
Where they go is the abyss!
by EnterOrion
As you all know, if you would like your poem to be critiqued you may leave a message on my profile. Whimsyboy, you may request your merit from Carlie.
New Theme: Christmas(betcha all saw that one coming)
New Deadline: Monday Dec. 28
Deviant coldness flying on veering eddies; swirling,
A heavy wind that carries snow; whirling,
Through a lifeless, desolate street.
It causes snow to acrete.
You walk past a fell tree with atrous, brittle bark,
It lay cracked and limp because of weather stark.
And a withered flower with an achromatic petal.
Wholly chilled air: the plant stiff as metal.
The Sun setting in the West,
Flowers once effloresced,
But not with this darkness, surely,
As the sky darkens prematurely.
These are the harbingers of Winter.
Eeee, I hope it's okay.
Yes!!!!
I winzzz!!!!!
But really, I pulled that one out of my butt at the last second :P
hmm...Christmas...*wondering what to do*
Um... Is it okay if I write about a different December holiday? Y'know, religious equality and all that.
Oh, Christ, I put in the wrong poem. Dismiss the previous one from voting, that's to do with Winter. Here's something I've very quickly pulled together. Don't ignore the caesuras either; that would be disastrous on my behalf.
Cheery songs of Christmas coming,
Canty tunes I hear people drumming.
Snow falling in elegant snowflakes,
Beautiful white landsacpe is what it makes.
Elect a Christmas tree as your house's centerpiece,
Luminous decorations - colourful light is what they release.
Hang up small baubles of red, green and blue,
Happiness is what you must ensue.
Come together in the village centre,
A cloudless night: all the better.
Kind comments to one another,
Happiness the main emotion, do not feel any other.
Children's faces glow,
When their parents bestow,
Their most wanted toy,
Elaited and in joy.
A glass of wine for all the adults,
A big turkey - compliments to the cook become the result,
Of a feast, with a two main courses, and numerous sides,
Maybe some more for the plumper people - but it can only be denied.
The bitter air outside,
And scents of parties, and dinners from inside,
The decorated buildings where people reside in throngs,
The views of happiness and cheer - the sound of carol songs,
Yes. It can only be Christmas.
The children are restless,
Night is coming, ever-slowly.
Finally, a success!
They are all sleeping, quite wholly.
I don my suit with haste,
Eat the cookies, and drink the milk,
Being stealthy, just in case,
Leave the presents, wrapped in silk.
No time to spare, moving on,
Make sure the reindeer make no noise,
In an instant we are gone,
To the next house, spreading joys.
Repeat all night long,
Sneaking in, leaving gifts,
This bag of presents makes me strong,
Flying over the last rift.
Back at home, waiting now,
Elves start the work, without a break,
More happiness next year, we have vowed,
The list is checked, without mistake.
-----
Even though Christmas is less than 3 days away, I'm just not excited. :/
Elaited and in joy.
Elated, not elaited. >.>
Beautiful white landsacpe is what it makes.
A beautiful white landscape is what it makes.
Happiness is what you must ensue.
Happiness is what you must ensure.
Stupid people make stupid mistakes. I am one of them stupid people. :| Triple post? I am an idiot, sorry for spamming up the thread.
As the casement came down the line,
My heart sputtered with Joy.
I wanted to leave, to go from this place,
To get to my farewell foy.
My name is Sean,
I'm a Scottish Elf.
In the summer, I sit on the lawn,
In winter, I put toys on the shelf.
Days and days, I look at the grass,
Dreaming of Christmas wonder.
Saving my time, and letting it pass,
Studying so I won't blunder.
I worked in the field, studying children,
And how they use their toys.
When I get back, my words are spoken,
Then quickly I make things for good girls and boys.
As soon as the Christmas night passes,
After the excitement ends.
I know that I've helped those lads and lasses,
They can share with family and friends.
But, I, sadly, go back to my place,
Next to the flower garden is my space.
But anytime I start to get lonely,
Or when my heart empties,
I think of the children, "Yay! Wee!"
Getting their dolls and teddies.
______________________________
This one isn't as good, I can't really do much with this topic :P
Ahem. This is a poem about Holiday. It is to be sung in cheery upbeat fashion.
Holiday; It's quite unclear
But if lift that sorry ear
And do you listen, do you hear
You hope for a volcano of beer
If you eat spaghetti for dinner
You will find: you're not a sinner
Indeed, you're not, you're a winner
Your faith will grow, not get thinner
You will see, it's widespread
The evidence is in what's said
The greeting Merry Christmas is dead
And its Happy Holiday instead.
You choose how to celebrate
The FSM doesn't have to dictate
What you do on this date
Of all holidays, its great
And it doesn't last for just one day
It's all month you remain gay (happy -_-)
Your cheery attitude will stay
Long after the others' fade away
The Apocalypse
Like a mind can lose control,
Like a body can lose a soul,
Evil takes a backward glance,
Good takes its lifeless trance.
Just hearing the bloody screaming,
You wake up and see you're dreaming.
Insane insane bloody horror,
Insane, its insane, complete terror.
What is not seen, it lost control,
What is not seen, Lucifer's soul.
Seeing ones life, fade away,
Screaming forgiveness everyday,
Granted, God takes your life,
The world is done and rid of strife.
Sweet greatness, it takes our way,
Sweet nightmares, drift away.
Nightmarish demons, are rid of thee,
What is there, we cannot see.
A sweet life is given back,
An evil soul will fade to black.
What we see, are two oppose,
But we sit in Hell, all knows,
In Heaven life fades and dies,
Holocaust of evil, spreading lies.
Just like horror, Hell will end,
Hell Lucifer will defend.
Heaven's angels let down wrath,
The Apocalypse, our destined path.
Man has caused all this,
Where they go is the abyss!
Orion has requested that I review his poem.
I'll take it by the stanza.
Like a mind can lose control,
Like a body can lose a soul,
Evil takes a backward glance,
Good takes its lifeless trance.
Even though the firs two lines are uneven, they rhyme well and a pattern was there. The last two were even better, very good, they fit together and they also rhymed very well; "trance" and "glance", you know.
Stanza Rating: 8.5/10
Just hearing the bloody screaming,
You wake up and see you're dreaming.
Insane insane bloody horror,
Insane, its insane, complete terror.
What is not seen, it lost control,
What is not seen, Lucifer's soul.
This one, the first two lines are too long. The word "insane" starts getting kind of repetitive and boring in the next two, perhaps a synonym put there will make it better, such as "raving", "deranged", "unhinged"...plus, they are much more fun words and more specific. The last two lines were pretty good, although I personally think a reference to "to know the face of God is to know madness" type of line would have gone here perfectly, just a suggestion.
Stanza Rating: 7/10
Seeing ones life, fade away,
Screaming forgiveness everyday,
Granted, God takes your life,
The world is done and rid of strife.
Let me point out, because of my Nazism in Grammar, that there should be an apostrophe between "e" and "s" in "one's" in the first line. Now we move on. This is pretty good overall, though the third line falls out of the rhythm and is too short to go with the line that it rhymes with. To lengthen it would perhaps improve it?
Stanza Rating: 7.5/10
Sweet greatness, it takes our way,
Sweet nightmares, drift away.
Nightmarish demons, are rid of thee,
What is there, we cannot see.
A sweet life is given back,
An evil soul will fade to black.
See, the overall message of this poem is either "ignorance is bliss" so you don't know of the demons and darkness that are there, or a more utopian way of life. I really liked how you put "thee" there, old-fashioned speaking, you know, although it would have gone better had you done it with the whole poem as opposed to just that one line. Anyway, a good stanza.
Stanza Rating: 8.5/10
What we see, are two oppose,
But we sit in Hell, all knows,
In Heaven life fades and dies,
Holocaust of evil, spreading lies.
Ttly drknss man!
Haha, just kidding. To be serious now; very good, although I am trying to figure; did you mean to oppose the last stanza with this one? Or is it like, Earth becomes peaceful as war ravages heaven and hell? Anyway, pretty good, although somehow lacking something.
Stanza Rating: 8/10
Just like horror, Hell will end,
Hell Lucifer will defend.
Heaven's angels let down wrath,
The Apocalypse, our destined path.
Man has caused all this,
Where they go is the abyss!
That is good, very good. My favorite stanza. I especially liked the last two lines about how it was all man's fault and we would go to the abyss. Although the "Hell Lucifer will defend" line kind of fell out of rhyme and was too short(perhaps "Hell, the Devil shall try to defend"?) it was a good stanza overall.
Stanza Rating: 9/10
Overall Poem Rating: 8/10
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