Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)
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First, I will post the overall rules, and then I will post the specifics about this week.
Original rules, as stated by Ubertuna:
It must fit the week's theme.
It must be submitted by the deadline.
It cannot have inappropriate language in it.
It cannot be stolen (if you plagiarize, we will find you).
Also:
The poem must be created for this contest
A user cannot win two weeks in a row (though everyone is welcome to submit every week!)
Only one submission per user will be accepted
As we all know, the winner will recieve a merit, and their poem will be featured on the _Poetry_ page.
OK, on to this week's topic...Again, we are having a style instead of a theme. Also, this week we are having TWO WEEKS to do it, instead of the usual one. Why? Because this will be an EPIC poem. Or, rather, a parody of an epic poem. Generally, epic poetry is very long, and tells the serious story of a heroic figure. Well, this week, the epic figure is YOU! Write a long poem (I'll leave the definition of 'long' up to you, but give it a good go) about the heroic story of you! It can be silly, serious, whatever... just have fun with it. You have two weeks, so have a great time!
- 3,868 Replies
Hmmm.... No way I'm ever going to win... Oh well!!! bored on thursday.
___________________________
Things Remembered
Tiny rings
Bells and things
Balls and flowers
Mini towers
Plastic guns
That couldn't shoot
All my treasures
All my loot
Lots of things
And plastic tutes.
All these things and more
Treasure on the floor
I love them more than glitter
I love them more than gold
I love them more than anything
That i have ever known
An old TV
A rubber goat
A leaky boat
That would not float.
I have shown them to my neighbors
I have shown them to my aunt
I have shown them to everyone
And everyone I have shown
They look at me with confusion
A smirk on their face
They seem to be bored with me
But a smile on my face.
Happy with my treasures
Others call it trash
but i do not agree with them
I enjoy my little mash.
___________________________
BTW- I meant that tutes as like, recorders and stuff. I forgot about this contest so I absolutely hate that poem. okay then. bye!
When I saw your name, under the "just posted" I thought: here comes the cavalry...
It wouldn't have mattered, the winner can't win two weeks in a row.
I know I'm screwed. There are so many good ones... Oh well, I think I submitted a pretty good first one. I'd be surprised if anyone even reads. :P Jk. Fiercer competition here than the haiku comp, that's fo' sho'.
So how 'bout that thar judging?
Today would be nice! I don't want to wait four days to find out. >.>
I don't want to wait four days to find out.
And I don't want people to be stupid. However, I must live with stupid people, therefore you'll live with me posting the judging tomorrow.
And I don't want people to be stupid. However, I must live with stupid people, therefore you'll live with me posting the judging tomorrow.
wolf sure knows how to put up with unsatisfied customers.
Orion, you've been a judge too, and quite an impunctual one, so surely you know that he ( we ) make this benevolently. Surely you can wait a little more right?
And on this note, a big thank you to wolf, because I know we judges don't get enough of these - no implicit message intended.
Third Place: Enter Orion
The time forgotten, I lay my sword,
Forged in the closet of the liar's word;
Slaying the tongue of the tempest soul,
Abandoned, iced by wool.
It took too many years, I've realized,
To my surprise, I must have died
By the word of God,
Surmised by hate, I'm a fraud.
I've finally reach an all time high,
Even if, to get here, I must have lied;
I understand that some words must be said,
If I didn't speak, I would be dead.
Penetrate the enemy of my lord,
To die right here for his hoard;
I'm a soldier of my heart,
The bitter end tastes so tart.
The day has come, forever wait,
Incarcerated hate;
I'll take them down, 'til I'm dead,
With my heart of lead.
They asked me once, straight and blank,
Would I die for land
To the man, of higher rank,
"You must be mad."
Five years on, he came around,
We met again;
The question struck, as was bound,
"I'd never die, for the hound,
I'd kill for men."
This is one of the more interesting takes on the theme I saw this time around. The poem was well written, however I found the flow to be lacking. At times it would transition nicely, but suddenly jar on the next line. Your first stanza is a prime example of this. The final line seemed only to be there to make a rhyme. Also, the entire poem was written in four line stanzas except for the last stanza. To me it came across as awkward. A well rounded representation of the theme though.
Second Place: Quirinus1
Autumn, season of despair
As I lay with comfort,
on a feather filled matress,
sleep grabs me unawares.
I slowly greet repose.
Morpheus! Do me a little more!
How I like it's sweet-sour savor!
Lead to me the son of Nyx,
bringer of sweet-tempered memories.
When I was a boy pure of heart,
mother asked me with earnest voice:
will you later be straight and true?
Yes, mother! I will. Six winters I saw.
Morpheus! Do me a little more!
How I like it's sweet-sour savor!
Lead to me the son of Nyx,
bringer of sweet-tempered memories.
I played with brother all day long,
sometimes he asked me with cute eyes:
will you be my brother for eternity?
Yes, brother! I will. Six springs I saw.
Morpheus! Do me a little more!
How I like it's sweet-sour savor!
Lead to me the son of Nyx,
bringer of sweet-tempered memories.
I played with legos from dawn to dusk.
Father came to me, and asked with deep voice:
What will you become? An engineer?
Yes, yes! I will. Six summers I saw.
Morpheus! Do me a little more!
How I like it's sweet-sour savor!
Lead to me the son of Nyx,
bringer of sweet-tempered memories.
When I was an engineer, smart and rich,
As I strolled along my buildings,
I thought: will there be any more than this?
No, no! I presume. Eighty-seven autumns I saw.
Morpheus! Stop it, stop it!
How I dislike the bitterness of the now!
Keep away the son of Nyx,
reminder of pains I now endure!
Childhood, three seasons of life,
Winter, spring and summer!
Childhood is such a short season,
and all the rest is fall.
There is no doubt in my mind that this is a magnificent piece of writing. The theme is definately grasped and grasped well. However, I found the repetition of your references to Nyx and Morpheus to be overly repetitive for the poem. I understand you tried to personify the theme, however it left me with a feeling of overly rapid transition. For the most part your poem centred on the child of six, and suddenly showed an old man. I would have liked a bit more growth for the character.
First Place and Merit Winner: TackyCrazyTNT
I used to live a land of smiles
A joyful isolated isle
I stayed in my crystal globe
Pressed my face against the glass
Decided that my world was
Everything worth knowing
I built my kingdom
Of oceans and mountains
Dragons vanquished,
And demons conquered
I created my own winding paths
Or so I thought.
"The sky's the limit" They all told me,
Just live your life as long as you're free
My globe had a painted sky
And that illusion was enough for me
I dreamt my dreams
I thought the sky was
All but unreachable
But under my growing weight
The crystal bent
And it cracked.
I wanted to save my world.
I couldn't.
I fell and fell back down to earth,
I dropped, stranded, to the cold hard dirt.
The shards of glass rained
In them I could see myself
All my shallow dreams
That blew away in the wind.
The shattered pieces
Of my imaginary world
Even now they fall
They cut and rip
I can't move from here.
I'm stranded from my past.
I often wish for my younger days
When all I did was dream and play
I catch myself yearning
For my painted blue walls
When the world was mine
When my paths were crystal clear.
All around is a rusty plain.
My future is too far away to see,
Lost on the horizon,
Maybe someday I'll finally stand up
And find what lies beyond
There's no need for dreaming here.
I'll journey to the edge to find my way
Though my glassy scars are forever to stay
Well Tacky is our winner for this round. The poem has a gentle flow to it and represents the theme perfectly. I found that the poem progressed nicely over time and I enjoyed the simplicity of the short lined long stanzas with a longer lined interlude. You represented the fragility of childhood, and that, on a personal level, connected with me deeply. The poem is not overly elegant, and at first glance not very deep. But, it is a fine example of a poem that deceives you at first glance. Well done.
The next theme is: Ice and Fire
The due date is: Thurday June 2, 2011
Let's brush the dust off this guy...
Banish the sun
Bring in the cold
Frigid is fun
Warmth is old
Enjoy the ice
Embrace the snow
Freezing is fun
On a peaceful ice flow
White is in
Summer is out
A Beluga's fin
A glacial trout
Let yourself welcome
A winter's embrace
It won't take long
But it is your place
Feel in your bones
The chilly and gelid
Icecaps like domes
The beauty does tell it
See in your breath
The feeling is polar
A swift sleepy death
Is arctic and slower
Come in the fire
Feel its great hear
Orange and yellow
Stolid and fleet
There is no escaping
Its hungry hot plumes
Run all you want
It knows of your doom
Accept the inferno
Take it with grace
Disappear into the smoking
Without a trace
Forests are burning
Oceans that blaze
Reflections that flicker
Capture your gaze
Footsteps in ash
May be your sign parting
Swallowed by flames
The consumption is starting
Stare into embers
Learn of their ways
Become like the flares
Yet naught it betrays...
Well, I must admit, I'm a little bit surprised, good job Tacky.
But this time around, I'm getting serious.
The next theme is: Ice and Fire
Yes.
Good job Tacky! Though I admit it was a bit of a surprise.
Hate and Love,Ice and Fire
A spark
Two souls wandering the world,
Two fates touching barely,
Their lives forever swirled,
Meeting quick and rarely.
A growing flame
They meet again while in a rush,
Something clicks and they touch,
Now It's more than a crush,
Living from then on in peace as such.
Growing Cold
A wanderer goes by,
The peace has been broken,
They go off with another guy,
Not leaving as much as a token.
Cold as ice
Feelings hurt and love lost,
The relationship back to strangers,
Passion turns to hate at a cost,
With loneliness has it's dangers.
A nuclear winter
Bringer of fire, bringer of death,
master of pyre, master of breath.
Flying to save us, flying to free.
Yet nuclear winter, all we can see.
The metal bird, it comes for us,
waiting to drop, her payload precious.
Freedom it brings, order it takes,
what are the odds, what are the stakes?
They preach freedom, but they lie.
They say to save us, from all vice.
But can they protect from harms touch,
since they destroy others so much?
One big bomb, to defeat all,
ancient warriors, massively fall.
A thousand year practice, a thousand year war,
or nuclear powers, what destroys more?
As it falls, we all run,
the end of times, has now begun.
Winter that starves, fire that burns,
What will await us when the page turns?
No life remains, families perish.
Is that the freedom you so cherish?
Call us stupid, call us crazy,
but we don't want vain democracy!
Bringer of fire, bringer of death,
master of pyre, master of breath.
Flying to save us, flying to free.
Yet nuclear winter, all we can see.
Ice and Fire? Yes!
Ice is the bringer of slow, painful death.
Fire is faster but leaves only ashes behind.
The cold is enough to impede your breath,
The smoke is enough to render you blind.
Having one makes you wish for another,
Fire to melt the frostbiting ice;
Ice to cool the fire that smothers
To reach a midpoint that would much suffice.
The two join in a passionate kiss
Consuming themselves in the blink of an eye
Flames melt ice which will not be missed
Ice, melted, extinguishing fire.
As they touch, the crux they find,
Is one for the other leaves nothing behind.
Thread is locked!