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Nice chapter 1 as shermzx said you use many descriptive words and I'm learning with these ! (I'm french and I'm in grade 9th)

Good to hear. I try to be as descriptive as possible.

For example:
Instead of: "A shriek went through the village."
I put: "A piercing shriek erupted from the maw of a beast, racing through a village."

Another update:

Prologue

A piercing shriek erupted from the maw of a beast, racing through a village. Men cowered in fear. Women and children held each other for comfort. There was no escape. It would come and hunt them down until the last drop of life was gone. A sudden breeze blew out all of the village lanterns. The only light left was the full moon. Its light was a source of pain for the villagers. The moon seemed so close that they might be able to escape from the horrendous, yet it was so far away. It taunted them.

They knew that soon they would be stripped of all life. Taken away from the very things they knew and loved. They would instantly be gone from this life, into whatever awaited them after. They said their last prayers.

Another shriek filled the village. Yes, tonight they would be gone. There was no hope. The Ztynak were coming.

Chapter I

Jaecar awoke with a start. He sat on his straw bed panting, sweat dripping from his forehead. He had had a restless night, tossing and turning in his bed. Today was the day of his sixteenth birthday. The day he would become a man was here. He looked around at his room, his straw bed, his shelf, his odd collection of rocks that had grown over the years. He crept down the stairs, remembering. There was the dent in the door he had placed while wrestling his brother. But today, today he was leaving this place. He was going to start anew. This was his day.

As he crept down the stairs and into the kitchen the smell of bacon, fine meat, and potatoes filled the air. This was the one thing he was going to miss, breakfasts cooked by his father.

âGood morning son! Would you like some grub?â

Jaecar sat down at the kitchen table. It was worn with age. He had always been told his grandfather carved it by hand, slowly making it, so it would be perfect. Perfect it was indeed. It was strong, sturdy, and just the right length.

His father soon had prepared a feast for him, or at least a feast in their perspective. It was piled high with bacon, bread, fruits, and the meat from their finest calf. Jaecar was astonished. He had never had so much to eat in one sitting. They usually just had bread and a few strips of bacon.

Jaecarâs family had not done well the last few years. There had been too much rain, causing the crops to be over watered and die. On top of that, their barn had burned down not 3 months ago. He had had to take up a job aside from helping his father in the fields. He had been helping Acharon in his tavern. It had been very tough for him. In the morning he would wake up and help his father in the fields. In the afternoon he would work in the tavern.

That is why he wanted to leave. He wanted to go on his own adventure. He did not want to do the same thing every day. He had always loved to go out into the unknown, and today was the day that he would go out into the greatest unknown, adulthood.

You copied that from word as well?

*points at symbols*

wow, you write pretty fast ! I've tryed to write something but it took me several minutes -_- and I don't know when to use descriptive words

I actually think that with some editing, that you could make it into one of those books that are sold only at your local book store.

Terrible Prologue. Great first chapter. You're not a bad writer but you mixed some elements of a prologue with a beginning.
A prologue is meant for explaining the main character and the setting.
The should be nothing of the plot in the prologue.
The middle (the moon and stuff) is great for a prologue but the beginning (the shriek) and the ending(The Krakzah) is suspenseful, but it should be part of the main story not the prologue.

This would be a great back cover summary to make people want to read your book ( if you decide to make it one).
...Holy crap did I just write an essay? lol. I'm gonna add you I want to read more of this, but consider editing.

I actually think that with some editing, that you could make it into one of those books that are sold only at your local book store.

oh sorry i didnt realize there was more than a prologue.
well now i have more to say. lol... mmm here goes.

The first chapter has nothing to do with the prologue.
The prologue is meant to also set the story up, which it may later

It is a very generic sounding story. Like almost all the creative writing essays i did as a kid. All action and no charcterisation. Unless you are planning to write an entire book on the internet which i dont advise you to do then this isnt great. Its ok though. Youcan tell that you are keen and have an active imagination. Dont give up your day job though.

Dont give up your day job though.

well it was a figure of speech. From the quality of writing it was clear he wasnt that old. But for his age im guessing around 12 it wasnt bad.

I think he's 13.

well then i stand by what ive already said.

Okay, so the first chapter has nothing to do with the prologue, or does it?

You people say I'm an okay writer. What could I'm improve, you aren't being very descriptive.

@woody

How is it bad.

People! Please explain better!