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the dragon hunt. By skater_kid_who_pwns

Posted Sep 4, '08 at 9:52pm

slipsoccer

slipsoccer

563 posts

Wood - Prince

pretty good second part

 

Posted Sep 4, '08 at 10:02pm

firetail_madness

firetail_madness

6,727 posts

Gold - King

I like the names.

 

Posted Sep 5, '08 at 5:29pm

gman1000

gman1000

902 posts

Wood - Prince

@drakokirby

A prologue does not have to. It is just a little thing at the beginning.

 

Posted Sep 5, '08 at 5:29pm

skater_kid_who_pwns

skater_kid_who_pwns

1,545 posts

Wood - Queen

"Who are you five? And why have you disobeyed the royal army, and my self?" It was King that spoke up first, rather soft and timed like but confinsing all the same. " Your royal highness, we are the newest edition to the Royal guard, we are the unit sent to protect your self". brian, following the lead jumped in" We were on our way to the armory, then to your royal chambers your highness." Kailey interjected next," Would you not follow us there, then out of here to safty?" hrm..........You look young, but you are the only chance I have to live" The Queen side. Malcome takeing the front of the pack led the way there, they past golden shandilers, and suits of armor so splendidly decorated it could have been made from solid gold.

Have to leave sorry for the cut off.

 

Posted Sep 5, '08 at 11:53pm

fst6

fst6

3,027 posts

Gold - King

Good Job.  the spelling seemed to improve throughout the story.  Also it was very good!  Why did the spelling of Malcolm's name change though?

 

Posted Sep 6, '08 at 12:34pm

shermzx

shermzx

571 posts

Wood - Lord

one tip,every word that has "ing" doesn't have e before it,e.g hate-->hating
       like-->liking
       fade--->fading

 

Posted Sep 6, '08 at 12:38pm

shermzx

shermzx

571 posts

Wood - Lord

"So what is the plan boss?" Malcome screwing up his face at the remark said "Brian I'm not your balls, I am a fiend."

lol hope u dun mind i just wanted to write stupid things like this

 

Posted Sep 6, '08 at 1:20pm

skater_kid_who_pwns

skater_kid_who_pwns

1,545 posts

Wood - Queen

hey, Thanks for the feed back! I am not really sure why I changed the spelling, just sorta didn't notice. I am gonnna keep saying Malcome cause I am used to typying it that way.

"So what is the plan boss?" Malcome screwing up his face at the remark said "Brian I'm not your balls, I am a fiend."

I thought you were gonna say I typed that for a second. lol

Tere it was at last, the door to the armory, locked with a rather impresive lock. " O dear, seemes as if we have run into a problem allready." " Nah, What would make you say a lock bigger then vox's brain would be a problem?" Brian said, then laughed stupidly at his own not funny joke. "Would you happen to know were we could find a key for this door your highness?" Kailey asked in the nicest voice possible. "Well, the door gaurds are on the battle feild now, Every guard except for a few here in the castle are there. There may be a way in somewere, they said they made an ecsacpe rought accecable from both sides in case of an emergancy." King spoke up," Did they tell you anything, leave any maps or something?" The queen thought for a second, but as she started to shake her head and was about to speak, Vox shouted out. "Here it is, heres the awnser we were looking for right here, on the door." In small writing carved into the thick wood of the door, there were small letters. "Vox, what do they say, come on just tell us allready!" Every one yelled, not wanting to waste any more time. "Ok ok, calm your selfs. It reads The treasure is mine alone, without light is were I hang, I watched you when you came in the room but did I see your comeing doom? "Worst riddle ever!" Brian complained, being completly ignored. Kailey and Vox went towards the enterance while King and Malcome went the other leaving the poor queen with Brian. They were all turning the riddle over in there heads, looking for something that hung, and was there when they entered. Kailey went over to a knight right next to the door, and turned it over causeing it to fall to peices. Inside she found A rope. "Every one! Over here look What I found!" Kailey yelled rather excitedly. "Ok, So it saw us when we came in he room, but it isnt hanging, or is it in the dark king thought out loud. "Wait," said the queen "I think I may know the awnser, follow me." She led them down to the end of the corridor, were there was an old light hanging, just as finly made and golden as the other, but this one wasn't light. " Thia may be what it talks of. This light has not light for ever. If a candle was placed in it, it would not light, so they gave up on it and left it hang here." the queen explained.  " But there seems to be candles up there right now." Malcome said rather curiously." I wonder if we could get it down here using that rope?" Brian asked, Fianlly seeing the seriousness of every one else. "Its Worth a try I suppose" Kailey said, throwing it up to the light and catching part of it. "Ok Guys grab hiold of this and pull." They all brabed and tuged this way and that, and it fainally gave away. But instead of falling, it slowly came down, it was on some kind of mechanism, and laying on it was a bottle. " Hrm....seems to be a message" Vox said, as he took the bottle. "It says, The richest man to hang on these walls holds the way."

I will continue later. My fingers hurt from typing that, lol

 

Posted Sep 6, '08 at 1:22pm

firetail_madness

firetail_madness

6,727 posts

Gold - King

Can't you use spellcheck skater?

 

Posted Sep 6, '08 at 1:26pm

skater_kid_who_pwns

skater_kid_who_pwns

1,545 posts

Wood - Queen

well........no. I dont have firefox, and it takes a high speed conection which I dont have, and putting it into microsoft makes it all funny. Did i spell alot of stuff wrong or something?

 
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