A seal were sliding from a cliff. Pengouins were diving through the water. Polar Bears were walking and everything is fine. 1 hour after, a polar bear stepped on a crack, he though it was just that he was heavy so he continued walking. Suddenly the crack got bigger and a iceberg came out of no where.
First part was short well its gonna continue... Got to go to sleep. By the way, i created this to win Animal Points for the Animal Club =D(=
1 hour after, a polar bear stepped on a crack, he thought it was just that he was heavy so he continued walking. Suddenly the crack got bigger and an iceberg came out of nowhere.
So then after a minute whle lookig at the iceberg. Lots of anials are looking at it growing. Suddenly, theiceberg had a fog around it and no one couldn't see what the ice beg was turning into. A fog suddenly pop out of nowhere and cover the iceberg. The fog was keep on going higher and higher. Suddenly, the fog is dissapearing and they see a big mountain with trees and lots of eagles! Then a crack wasin the ground and it was getting bigger and bigger. Then a big blast of ice and water splash and it is going higher. The Baby polar Bear was crying. Then the dad says you guys must be brave. One of them said we can't dad its too freaky. All the rest of th polar bears are sceaming!
Sorry everyone, here s the real story. Is the same thing but itsjust that i made mistakes in the first 1.
Part 2:Going up to the iceberg
So then after a minute while looking at the iceberg. Lots of animals are looking at it growing. Suddenly, the iceberg got a fog around it and no one couldn't see what the iceberg is turning into. The fog was keep on going higher and higher. Suddenly, the fog is dissapearing and they see a big mountain with trees and lots of eagles! Then a crack is in the ground and it is getting bigger and bigger. Then a big blast of ice and water splash and it is going higher. The Baby polar Bear was crying. Then the dad says you guys must be brave. One of them said we can't dad its too freaky. All the rest of the polar bears agrees and the mom took all of them except 1 brave 1 that was strong and he say: Don't worry dad, i won't forgive you that easily. The dad is crying but after he hear that. He stop crying directly. The seals, pengouins and others were talkng about the 2 stupid polar bears going up!
Grammar is getting better. Keep proofreading. In your story, i think it would help if you make it clear who the main protagonist is. So, am I supposed to care mostly about the father polar bear? Or all the animals? It isn't clear yet.
Okay ill make it longer. Bytheway, i want to iproove my writing and eveything and ill add a little bit of suspense.
Part 3:Portal of Doom
So the family leaves and the fog came back. While they was on top, the fog was coming back. So the Dad says:Hold my hand quick. Suddenly, he hears a sound like: Ddy!!!He. And then the dad ran after thesound and says:Where are you son?No voice respnd.So the dad was crying. Then he see's a portal. In the portal he see's lots of bears, wolf and few other animals. He thought that his son is there. He go inside, it was really hot in there. Then he transformed into a brown bear. Not he says to himself:What happen. I could jump higher and climb. Im even much more faster then before. But after a second, he realize that his family and friends weren't there. He meets a snake doing camouflaging and the snake says:Watch out a hunter is here. The bear say where. Suddenly he heard a bullet and also saw a bullet in front of him. He ran after a cave and then saw 2 other mans hunting. He ran and sprinted through a river and suddenly he was drowning because he can't swim anymore!!! The river was going slowly and 3 mans where trying to snipe him!!!He heard 3 sounds of a bullet but didn't see neither of them!!!
