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Reaching Out and Touching No One

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Posted Nov 23, '08 at 12:00am

Gantic

Gantic

11,130 posts

Moderator

I've still got the taste of steak (sauce) on my mind.

And upon really chronic spammers shall I pelt prairie oysters!


Those things are awful.

Whens the next story installment?\\\\

I'm trying to update this fairly regularly. It depends on whether I decide on what to write and what to save for a future installment.

This one might actually be much longer.

Three Cowboys

The Bullman introduced the Space Cowboy to the sites and sights of Armor Game City citing the notable persons. A rather large shield-shaped building towered over the meager housing of the citizens. This was the sheriff's office headed by the liaison to the higher powers. The sheriffs, or magistrates as they were referred to whenever they felt the need to sound more important than they truly were, had the power to eject all persons into orbit by means of slingshot or trebuchet; the choice was up to the launchee, except for the most heinous, who were subject to the whim of the magistrate. The duo approached the front doors of the building, but were stopped by two armored guards.
"Halt! None shall pass by order of the Queen Magister," the guard on the left exclaimed.
The other guard rapped him on the head with his halberd. "It's Queen Magistrate! A magister's a dude and not even the same as a magistrate. Didn't you read man pages?"
"Dude. We got female knights and you worry about me calling the Queen Magistrate a dude? And yeah, I read the man pages."
As they argued, the Bullman and the Space Cowboy entered the sheriff's office.
"Here we are," the Bullman said. He turned to the Space Cowboy, noting his expression. "Yeah, it's usually this empty."
"Then who administers the law?"
"That would be the Rainbow Gang. You saw the spammers being slapped with Steaks of True Meat? Yeah, the Rainbow Gang is quite busy. They never passed the magistrates test--they are too uptight you know, down with the book, strict to the rules," the Bullman explained.
"What?"
"The Moobes are libertarian, you know? Free to do... just don't annoy people, especially not the 4... Never mind."
At that moment, they heard the strangest wail. A goose had entered through the front door. A snippet of the argument outside slipped through before the door slammed shut. "And yeah, I know her name is not 'Charlie'."
The goose wailed, "Oh someone help me. The Rainbow Gang took my beau gander at bowgun point. All he was doing was resting on the bough 'gainst the trunk of the sword tree and they cited him for sleeping in public!" She waddled to the Bullman and the Space Cowboy. "Pleae help. My beau gander was taken. He's wearing a blue Union cap and brogans. I always told him those boots would be trouble. His feet were killing him, so he flew up to a tree to rest."
"Yep," the Bullman said. "This is Armor Games."
 

Posted Nov 23, '08 at 12:09am

kingryan

kingryan

4,437 posts

I'm sure AG isn't this crazy? Geese?

KingRyan

 

Posted Nov 23, '08 at 12:17am

slliM

slliM

1,520 posts

Lol.

Yup This is ArmorGames.

That's like the awesomest.

 

Posted Nov 23, '08 at 12:21am

Danstanta

Danstanta

1,786 posts

OMg! !

This is interesting, you should make a novel! Or even a book! If that's equal!?

 

Posted Nov 23, '08 at 12:30am

Strop

Strop

11,086 posts

Moderator

"I could do with some foie gras."

"Isn't that bad for the geese?" Arthur asked.

"F*** the geese," Ford said.


At least that's how I remember it, hahaha. So there are the moobes, the rainbow gang...the four, the female not named Charlie...the magistrates...

That's crazy dude.
 

Posted Nov 23, '08 at 11:55pm

Gantic

Gantic

11,130 posts

Moderator

This is nothing compared to what could happen.

Armor Games is as crazy as it is. Reading all the stuff that passes through @_@//. It's not as crazy as some of the places I've been, not even a little bit. (Sadly, people here take pride in their sanity.) But at least there's hope. It's always the writers and artists that are a little out there. Musicians are comparably normal.

This is interesting, you should make a novel! Or even a book! If that's equal!?

I already gave up on my NaNo and am not about to start on another such project, not soon anyway. My mind can't seem to take more than small steps in any direction that's structured. I've mostly resolved to compiling snippets from abandoned projects to make anything longer than a ten page essay. It works rather well, so that's what I'll do. Write bits here and there.

I'll add something tomorrow.
 

Posted Nov 24, '08 at 5:05am

Strop

Strop

11,086 posts

Moderator

It's not as crazy as some of the places I've been, not even a little bit.


Eh, I happen to believe that crazy is all a bit been there done that, since everybody on the internet becomes a zombified series of on-off switches.

Unless you make a real effort to assert your sanity. That's when things get fun!

Musicians are comparably normal.


I suppose now would be a great time to inform you that I've got far more training as a musician than as a writer or artist!
 

Posted Nov 25, '08 at 2:49am

Gantic

Gantic

11,130 posts

Moderator

I suppose now would be a great time to inform you that I've got far more training as a musician than as a writer or artist!


Nooo... My worldview is destroyed. Or is Strop actually more normal than he appears? A sense of humor is a sign of sanity or intelligence, I forget which, might be both.

Three Cowboys

It was at this very moment, that the hero of this story was literally pulled into action. The goose took him by her wing, and though she had no fingers, her grip was strong. He was dragged across the city and dropped in front of a group of men. Of course the Bullman was there, too. He wasn't about to let a newbie get knocked out of his boots before he learned to walk.
Faced with a group of strangers, the Space Cowboy asked, "Who are you?"
The leader replied, "We are the Rainbow Gang."
"A goose told us you were holding someone on the grounds of sleeping in public," the Space Cowboy said.
"And what do you want?" the leader asked.
"Give us the gander."
"You want us to check you out?"
"No. Give us the goose."
"Now you want us to hiss at you?"
"Just give us the bird in the blue cap."
"Well, why didn't you say so earlier," the man replied. "Make us."
The Space Cowboy reached to his side and realized that he had left is Smith & Wesson laser gun on the dash. The Bullman was ready with the rubber ducky in his hoof-hand and had it pointed at the group.
The Bullman replied, "Now when you say make us, did you really mean that, because I've got the most powerful rubber ducky in Armor Games."
 

Posted Nov 26, '08 at 1:52am

Gantic

Gantic

11,130 posts

Moderator

This is not an intermission.

The Stranger

There was a glitch in the program. The logic unit could not comprehend how there were only two cowboys when all three of them did not exist. It could not comprehend the metaphor either. An artifact was created in the gibberish of the output as the logic unit tried to "rectify" the mistake, garbling the input in the process. The artifact emerged as itself. That was not my idea, not at all. The program will resume. To make things clear: There still were no cowboys. I hope.
The Stranger sat with his back against a rock on the moors. His hat was tipped forward to shade his eyes from the full moon. It was nighttime but he wasn't sleeping. His eyes were fixed on the LCD in front of him, browsing. How is it my Moogle Navigator only comes up with these abandoned blogs? These journals left on a park bench? It had been the same for all the nights before. He'd hook up the rechargeable battery pack to his laptop and browse the Moobes but the Moobes would only show abandoned blogs, usually void of comments. He felt compelled to read them. Someone had to. They were written for the world to read but only his lonely eyes searched them for meaning. He wanted to connect to someone. He would gather up the courage to comment in hopes that the creator would one day return and know that someone had read it. But what could he write? He would abandon the idea altogether after convincing himself it was pointless.
The solar panel flap of his laptop fell open without cause. The Stranger lowered the screen to fix the problem. When he did, he closed his eyes to relax and opened them to look upon the horizon. A bright shooting star fell just above it. Some change would be nice, he wished. He raised the screen again, but it was different. He hadn't touched any keys, but it displayed something else. Something called "Armor Games".

 

Posted Nov 26, '08 at 2:08am

slliM

slliM

1,520 posts

Lol...

That is really strange gantic.

Very enjoyable though.