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Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

Gantic has a thread and will weave a cloth. This is a thread brought to you by Gantic & Co. Bringin' change to a constantly changin' world.

The title of the thread will become apparent later, but to start off:

Three Cowboys

Just to make things clear, there were never three cowboys. Just two. One of them's got the solar-powered laptop, the other's got the rubber ducky, but they're both mavericks, all three of them. It was my idea to throw in the third cowboy, but he's as real as any of the others. The solar-powered laptop and the rubber ducky were my idea, too. So were the two cowboys. To make things clear: There were no cowboys.
In the vast emptiness of the Moobes, a black craft shaped like a horse, christened the Star Straddler, cruised to what was only a small but sparkly blue-and-green marble. The captain had his boots up on the dash as his craft crawled along the moobe that would bring him to the planet that the Moogle Navigator had found. As the craft touched down on the surface, only one thought was on the captain's mind: "The Space Cowboy has landed. In Armor Games."

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Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

You weeaboo!


Not even close. I know people who listen to a lot of J-pop, watch a lot of original anime with subtitles, read a lot of manga, and know some of the language because of that. Surprisingly, I've never known anyone who was Japanese.
Strop
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Strop
10,835 posts
Herald

Sure sure I believe you >_>

(Actually I do. But you must admit, a pun of cheesiness that magnitude warranted either that accusation, else I call you a closet furry. Furries love their cheesy animal-related puns.)

Gantic
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Gantic
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King

Really? Furries like cheesy animal-related puns? I was characterizing the crass community out there that makes really bad puns, which seems to be lacking in Armor Games. Although, I'm pretty sure that crass community is populated by college students and older which aren't in the majority here.

I'd say this would brie a gouda time for some puns but those are just too cheesy. Also, this webcomic is rife with puns.

Birds of a Feather

"What is that?" the Bullman asked.
"Marabou."
"Looks like death. Is it supposed to have bony white legs?"
"That depends."
"Depends on what?"
"Depends on whether their legs are white. They just whitewash them."
"Whitewash?"
"It's a bird thing."
Crowman felt like whitewashing the Bullman, but it would be too obvious who did it. It wasn't his place to take revenge.

Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

How about some subtler wordplays I am more inclined to make? I almost feel like pointing them out.

Three Cowboys

At some point in their argument, Rainheart and his opponent, Lagless, started shouting at one another. Their banter had devolved to name-calling in the worst punny fashions and neither was kidding. The word hare was thrown around a couple times but a hare was no rabbit.
This did not concern the Space Cowboy as the animal overtones were not spectacular. He tried to leave but the gander would not allow him. "You're going to help me look for Lucy."

Strop
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Strop
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Herald

Furries like cheesy animal-related puns?


My sarcasm-o-meter is going off nearly as badly as my bad-pun-o-meter.

I can't even bring myself to begin to parry and riposte. It would betray my sordid past.
Gametesta
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Gametesta
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Peasant

I can't even bring myself to begin to parry and riposte. It would betray my sordid past.


AHHH! your using short words i can't comprehend with!
Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

I can't even bring myself to begin to parry and riposte. It would betray my sordid past.


Foiled, perhaps?

Fog City

Sometimes I wonder if people were meant to do the things they do, if people were meant to do things they were going to do, if what they were going to do were what they were going to do no matter what. And then I wonder if I am acting or reacting to everything. Do I just go with the flow? Do I push and the universe pushes back? When I do nothing, am I actively doing nothing or just waiting for something to happen? I wonder if everything was scripted or if there was still a possibility to change things. And if there was no way of knowing, then would our actions be our own or are we only characters in an ever complex story? Perhaps the writer is just winging it. Time will tell.
Gantic
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Gantic
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King

*headdesk*
You know what, I forgot to put:

END OF PART II

Strop
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Strop
10,835 posts
Herald

Foiled, perhaps?


Sir, you cut me to the quick!

Wait, so if this is the end of part two, when do we find out what happens to the gander and the bullman!? Will Crowman exact his smouldering revenge? How will anybody ever make any sense of the proliferation of parallel worlds (or should I say parallel Names), and the strange beings within!?
Gantic
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Gantic
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King

Sir, you cut me to the quick!


Sharp as ever.

Wait, so if this is the end of part two, when do we find out what happens to the gander and the bullman!?


After the conclusion of the Way of Moderation. :P Or maybe during. I just need to figure out how much time I will be devoting to WoM.

How will anybody ever make any sense of the proliferation of parallel worlds (or should I say parallel Names), and the strange beings within!?


I will (or might) relate this to a new idea I have.
Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

PART III

The Stranger

Though a patchy black-and-white Tobiano resembled a slender Holstein, it cowed not with its appearance but with its grim expression. It was Stallion Man without his uniform.
"You've heard about the implosion at the Poet's Guild," Stallion Man asked.
The Stranger didn't answer.
"Well?"
"That wasn't a question."
Stallion Man replied, "I've asked around and it seems you've taken up my old janitorial duties. Interesting thing is you hide in the closet most of the time. Suspicious. I've checked the archives. You don't exist."
The Stranger had nothing to say.
"You see, you're not allowed around these parts of the Imaginarium. You already know that. You know what we do to rogue Figments? You're about to find out."

Gantic
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Gantic
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King

There is no moral at the end, though I'm sure the social commentary is revealing.

Birds of a Feather

The Great Condor once flew the aether. It bore the Great Flame upon its fire-scorched back to light the Kingdom of the Sky and the Kingdom of the Earth. It held as great a stature as that of the Regal Eagle who governed the Avia for none could live without the Flames of Condor. But in the Great Cataclysm that tore even the sky apart, the Condor was lost and never seen again. The Sky Kingdom crashed and the Avia scattered. Yet, the Condor's greatest possessions, a chicken and a duck, were recovered within a hallowed ring of ashes. They were entombed and enshrined in the majesty of wooden halls built from the cloud trees of the lost kingdom. They were never to be touched and never to be removed until the next cataclysm that would surely desolate the Kingdom of Games. Of course, nothing, not even the most arcane of clandestine reliquaries, could stop two adventurous yearlings with something to prove.

Strop
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Strop
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Herald

Wait... I assume the duck is accounted for. What of the chicken!?

the_manta
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the_manta
4,547 posts
Shepherd

I really admire your work, Gantic. ^_^

But you already knew that, didn't you?

Gantic
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Gantic
11,847 posts
King

What of the chicken!?

Go back and read through everything again. :P

Three Cowboys

"What about them?" the Space Cowboy asked.
"What about them? They're Figments," the gander replied.
"Figments?"
"Figments? Figments?! They're characters in some lame story. Here. Everything. It's all one lame story. There are dozens of them out there."
The Space Cowboy was still a newbie. With all the bytes he travelled and all the time he spent, he knew almost nothing of what was Armor Games. He hadn't even been to a taproom yet.
"Let's go find Lucy."
"Lucy who?"
The gander had only mentioned Lucy a moment ago and moments before that. Was she the goose that he, the Space Cowboy, and the Bullman had met at the beginning of his travels to this strange world?
"Lucy?"
"Is this a set up to some lame pun? Every frickin' Gamer is lame. Armor Games is LAME."
As before, the gander froze and minutes later, disappeared into nothing.
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