ForumsWEPRBreakfastarianism

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Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,678 posts
Jester

I have come to show you all the truth about our lives, the universe the end of the world. As of yet, there is only a sparse section of the holy text done. But more is to come! Have faith. Join today, and learn the truth!


The Book of Breakfastarianism

Commandments:
And the Lord spoke thusly:

1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast.
2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious.
3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts.
4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast.
5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.


The Beggining

In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling.
Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let
there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make
His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets
surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a
cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy
became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon
it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was
done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast.
He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to
watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and
satiated, the Lord then went on His way.

  • 384 Replies
dirkpitt1
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dirkpitt1
1,281 posts
Nomad

Ok now this is getting sort of wierd

Armed_Blade
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Armed_Blade
1,492 posts
Shepherd

pssh, I can't eat pig. So to heck with that.

Still, Hilarious topic.

Still, I wish It could be just as easy as eating Pancakes to attone for your sins. The dough and bread industries would be booming and crime's go off the roof.

Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,678 posts
Jester

Well...now it is. Have you not read the rest of the topic?

If you join now, the Lord will see that you now know the one true way and let you start anew.

Nurvana
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Nurvana
2,524 posts
Farmer

That was HILARIOUS!

Cheef
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Cheef
188 posts
Nomad

Praise the Piggy!! lol Moegreche

yaf
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yaf
49 posts
Nomad

ok so very strange

drainslug
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drainslug
48 posts
Nomad

i have spread the word to otheres who are not armorgamers!

DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,060 posts
Blacksmith

*proclaims herself a Breakfastarian*

I shall partake in no meals before Breakfast, and shall give a moment of each day to worship the mighty croissant, and the holy bean of coffee, before I so ravenously consume them.

*nods*

homegrove
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homegrove
325 posts
Peasant

Does this religion have any opposition? Like Luncheonarianism?

Moegreche
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Moegreche
3,829 posts
Duke

In the long long ago, some cults broke off from the main Church of Breakfastarianism. The church leaders at the time hired mercenaries who slaughtered the infidels mercilessly. Clearly, breakfast is the holiest of meals without question and anyone opposed to the doctrine will be struck down where they stand. Mostly because it would be hard to strike someone down in a place where they are not... I mean, unless it was some sort of quantum fluctuation - the pendulum effect
Anyway, the short answer is NO

DragonMistress
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DragonMistress
1,060 posts
Blacksmith

*stands at attention with her fork at side, eyes peeled to attack any who dare defy the wishes of her deity, the grouping of foodstuffs that be Breakfast*

drainslug
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drainslug
48 posts
Nomad

i think we should all spread the word to everyone about brekfastarianism and try and covince them to 1st join us and then to promote it

turret
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turret
1,628 posts
Shepherd

wow how long did it take you to write that

drainslug
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drainslug
48 posts
Nomad

am bumping this because it is very important!

killertron
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killertron
56 posts
Nomad

I admit that breakfast is a wonderful time of day, but...

-Religion is the opium of the masses.
-Religion is the impotence of the human mind to deal with occurrences it cannot understand.
-Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions.
Karl Marx

Wonderful man...
Perhaps i am wrong about religion though, maybe breakfastarianism is a good idea. Tell me more and i may be turned.

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