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The Book of Breakfastarianism
Commandments: And the Lord spoke thusly:
1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast. 2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious. 3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts. 4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast. 5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.
The Beggining
In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling. Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast. He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and satiated, the Lord then went on His way.
This morning while i was eating my frenchtoast and orange juice, something, something was calling to me, telling me to go to armorgames.com the Frenchtoast lead me here, it lead me to salvation.
this is a very dumb religion. you will descend to the depths of hell if you choose to follow these rules. The bible is the only true book that should be followed as a religion and this is a froud. may God strike you down to hell.
Hmmm, this devotion to eating or worship Breakfast is a bit wrong. Lol, I don't want to find myself someday worshiping a cereal box or whatsoever my mom will feed me! And I don't really wake up early for breakfast because...
1.) I might be in a deep sleep. 2.) I don't want to eat breakfast and I'm always grumpy in the morning. 3.) What's the 3rd one?
Anyway, we do have our differences anyway... Oh, sorry for laughing as well. :P
It's okay to laugh. We Breakfastarians will be laughing when you are ejected from the Holy Father during the Great Bowel Movement. Then, and only then, will you see the errors of your path as you float through eternity drifting away from God in your journey across the river Stynx and into the Unholy Septic Tank (New Jersey).
Hahaha, "worshiping" the almighty breakfast! The most important meal of the day. I will never throw my empty Lucky Charms box in the trash in vain ever again! It will be properly disposed with a righteous burial! Do I just join the almight clan of the Breakfastarians? Do I need to sign the contract with my spoon-pen declaring my loyalty? :P
Just this morning I ate no breakfast. But then I realized that the Lord, blessed be he, has been cursing me by holding up my bowel movements. I shall now right my wrongs, and eat breakfast every morning so that when the end comes, I shall go to heaven, where it is eternally breakfast with yummy foods.
I also was wondering if I could make a contribution to the Holy Text.
