Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → First Kill - Fiction

Well, everybody is doing it, so why not.
Thread of only this little piece of... [...] text.

Warnings for violence, physical abuse, mental abuse and Kai.
Another warning because it is OMG TEXT! and is faily old (about a half/three quarters of a year or something like that.
And last, but not least, warning for the crappy ending. It hurts a little now, but I could not cut it off.

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´You have no reason to live!´ The child was pushed hard against a tree, the knotted skin of this particular kind was much like being pushed against barbed wire. He was crying again, another sign of his weakness. Cried from the pain, the pain from the punches, the kicks, the wounds, the broken fingers, why'd they have to break his fingers, why not an arm, a leg, his neck... The thoughts made him shiver, and the yelling kept going on and on and on and on, more punches, kicks, more tears. ´You are a disappointment, not useful, you can't do anything, you can't keep on believing, there's no reason to do do, you just have to lay down and die you bastard you´ Eventually he stopped remembering the word, they were there, he heard them, but he didn't understand, he didn't care.
Not even the pain seemed to be noticed, his empty blue eyes just staring into the pale grey of the dragonman, the one who kept on shouting, scolding, hitting, kicking, giving pain, so much pain, just give up, can't hold on to this silly little life, end it, end it!
And then the anthro stopped, his eyes twitching a little before he fell, the sharp dagger still in his chest. The poison soon finished his life. And the boy just stood there crying, his eyes empty blue orbs in his pale face, seeing nothing, his small beaten body not sensing anything, not even when he himself fell. His mind shut.

His very first kill. He kept being sick. Threw up. Wounds not healing, pain flooded his body every time he just thought about moving. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't think. Empty.

But They were happy. He didn't care why, it didn't mean anything to him, Their words, Their praises, later Them trying to get him up, Their anger, Their punishment, Them, Them, Them....
He just wanted one thing.


"I'm sorry to hear about all that... I, I didn't know that you..." The young man looked at him, he was only a few years older than the lad, who just sat there, smiling vaguely in the dim lighted room. He seemed to be observing the doctor, and still seemed some place else. The blonde man stood, began another walk on the floor, the third one in the past hour. "How... If I may ask, did you manage to keep on... Living?" The lad smiled, somewhat amused by this natural question. "I just did. I figured out that when so many hate me, I would make them happy, if I just gave up. I wanted to torture them." He blinked, smiled calmly at the doctor. "And hoped that I would find something to live for along the way, a purpose, or a reason, whatever came first." He ran his finger through the tangled dark red hair, still observing, still very far away. The blonde stood, blinking a few times, shocked, curious, surprised by this idea of a ten-year-old thinking something, anything like that. This might just be the man in front of him teasing, his smile too calm, the idea too... "Kai, there is no way..." "And yet here I am." The lad smiled calmly, rising from the soft chair. "But maybe it was just the stupid wish of a child to see his mother again."
The men shook hands, the doctor mumbling about stop mocking him, the lad just laughing, not answering. The redhair left the room.

'Did it go well?' The sparkling blue eyes seemed to look right trough him, and yet she still asked, not being tricked by the calm smiles and the assuring word any more, she'd known him too long to fall for that kind of tricks. "It was okay, Fab is still learning, and I'm still closed up, as he says." The mazzelh looked him in the eyes, her own full of worry. "I'm fine, really. I just need some sleep." A smile, not calm, just warm and loving, that was what she got, but it was enough for now. She didn't want to know, he didn't want to tell, the pain still a part of him, only slowly replaced by the warmth of his mate, and the fact that she loved him, even through times like these. He kissed her, loving her with all his body, his mind, his soul.
He had found it, hopefully it would last forever.