She was dead, gone never to come back. In a way, he was dead too. She had been a big part of him for way too long. He would never hear her laugh, nor speak. Not even cry. He could only feel pain; His heart had become a dark shell of its former self, his mind poisoned with evil thoughts. He was no longer a man; He had become a monster.
Good, but very cliched you need to a work a bit on word choice. Also again you need to expan it more again the plot is very cliched. But ok 6.5/10. You can work on it and make it better.
This is just a description to kinda explain his future actions, the plot hasn't begun yet. And the bad choice of words are because I'm norwegian, so english isn't my native language. Thanks for the constructive criticism anyways
I am VERY interested. It is good. Reminds me sort of like my style of writing. I would like it if you continued it. It seems like it could become a great story. Check out my thread "Survival". I started out with something like what you have here, got inspired, and started a whole story. Check it out!