Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Unnamed poem, by skater

Very nice poem. Though you had different rhyming patterns, you made it all work out pretty good. Keep up the good work and whatever you do, don't stop drawing.

:-)

Means alot comeing from an awsome poet like you! But it seems not alot of people have read it...

O by the way, sorry for the funny sybols.

I liked it, which is more then I usually say for poetry. Nice work, Skater.

The symbols kinda messed it up but it is a good poem
Looks like a song.
If I had to rate it I guess a ...

8/10

BOO!!!!!!

Just kidding, very nice poem haha. :P

Very good poem!
10/10

Really, it's great!!!!

I got a few more in the works.....so i will post them in the next few days. Thank you all for your knid words, and a bit of constructive critisism would be nice as well.

that is if you have any.

Well, here is a new one, by yours treuly.

Iâd give up almost anything
For all the ones I love
If I could reach up in the sky
Iâd give you the stars above.
Yes Iâd give you almost anything
But I canât give what you ask
I canât let go of all of this
And be as I was in the past.

Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.

You asked me for the impossible
You asked me to let it go.
The one thing that I had for safety
The one thing I would know
And I tried so hard to tell you
That I was still your very best friend
But I needed that beside me
Or I wouldnât make it to the end.

Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.

Thereâs so much missing
So much Iâll never get back
But at the same time youâre trying to tell me
Itâs all because of something I lack?
Itâs more because Iâve found something
Something I canât let go
And tears form in my eyes but still
I have to make my own ending to know.


Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.

Beauty and trust you mistake for lust
I canât let go, you canât make me now
I refuse to believe this has changed for the worst
Or that Iâm hurting you all somehowâ¦

Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.

Iâd have grabbed for you the stars above
But I canât and wonât give up my loveâ¦
So if we say goodbye here, so it must be
But youâre the only ones losing me
Because I canât give up my everything
Itâs the only part of anything
The only part of almost anything
I wonât let go.

I think you should copy it onto notepad, then onto AG because I can't understand parts because of the symbols.

does that actually work? Wait let me retry that...

Iâd give up almost anything
For all the ones I love
If I could reach up in the sky
Iâd give you the stars above.
Yes Iâd give you almost anything
But I canât give what you ask
I canât let go of all of this
And be as I was in the past.
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.
You asked me for the impossible
You asked me to let it go.
The one thing that I had for safety
The one thing I would know
And I tried so hard to tell you
That I was still your very best friend
But I needed that beside me
Or I wouldnât make it to the end.
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.
Thereâs so much missing
So much Iâll never get back
But at the same time youâre trying to tell me
Itâs all because of something I lack?
Itâs more because Iâve found something
Something I canât let go
And tears form in my eyes but still
I have to make my own ending to know.
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.
Beauty and trust you mistake for lust
I canât let go, you canât make me now
I refuse to believe this has changed for the worst
Or that Iâm hurting you all somehowâ¦
Oh what is it in me thatâs changed
What is it you see here now?
Why have you all run away
Before our final bow?
The lights are getting lower now
But I canât let all of this go
So Iâll sit here with tears in my eyes
For the ending weâll never know.
Iâd have grabbed for you the stars above
But I canât and wonât give up my loveâ¦
So if we say goodbye here, so it must be
But youâre the only ones losing me
Because I canât give up my everything
Itâs the only part of anything
The only part of almost anything
I wonât let go.

So does that look any better now?

If you transfer it to notepad you have to redo the apostrophes.

The 2nd poem was really good as well. You really did a good job with the rhyming. Not really forced but its there enough to give your poems a nice sence of flow. The mood of the poem was expressed very nicely.

These two poems; they both showed a character who is very clinging. Heartbroken as well. I will comment more on your profile possibly tomorow. Right now I need some sleep. Keep up the good work.

Good Job (y)