Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Big D's poetry? Maybe?

3	3413

offline

Destor

706 posts

Nomad

Posted March 13, '09 10:55pm UTC

It has been said that I have the soul of a poet.

... And my other features aren't so good either.

But here is my assorted collection of poetry. Maybe. Or maybe just a place to put my musing? Or both? Who knows. Well, I do of course. But this should be mostly poetry. I will start off with

Ah, seasons.

Ah, the sound of Spring. That gentle cry.
The voice of Autumn. A soft whispering.
The touch of Summer. A swift feeling.
The cry of Winter. Quite a Din.
I sit on my stump and notice
The world is changing as I move,
For I am an orchestra conductor
And my motions tell the world where to go
An oracle of the new spring
And a change of the ages
one to the next
reminding me what it is
to feel like myself.

And if you understood what that really was about, you should go outside a bit.

And now.. A mental attack.

A mental attack.

Splish.
Splish splash.
Splish splash drip splash.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip SPLOOSH!
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip.
Splish splash drip splash.
Splish splash.
Splish.

And if you managed to read that all without wanting to go to the bathroom, good job.

Perhaps more to come? We shall see if I have time. What? The time? I don't have a watch, sorry.

It has been said that I have the soul of a poet.\r\n\r\n... And my other features aren't so good either.\r\n\r\nBut here is my assorted collection of poetry. Maybe. Or maybe just a place to put my musing? Or both? Who knows. Well, I do of course. But this should be mostly poetry. I will start off with\r\n\r\nAh, seasons.\r\n\r\nAh, the sound of Spring. That gentle cry.\r\nThe voice of Autumn. A soft whispering.\r\nThe touch of Summer. A swift feeling.\r\nThe cry of Winter. Quite a Din.\r\nI sit on my stump and notice\r\nThe world is changing as I move,\r\nFor I am an orchestra conductor\r\nAnd my motions tell the world where to go\r\nAn oracle of the new spring\r\nAnd a change of the ages\r\none to the next\r\nreminding me what it is\r\nto feel like myself.\r\n\r\nAnd if you understood what that really was about, you should go outside a bit.\r\n\r\nAnd now.. A mental attack.\r\n\r\nA mental attack.\r\n\r\nSplish.\r\nSplish splash.\r\nSplish splash drip splash.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip SPLOOSH!\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash.\r\nSplish splash.\r\nSplish.\r\n\r\nAnd if you managed to read that all without wanting to go to the bathroom, good job.\r\n\r\nPerhaps more to come? We shall see if I have time. What? The time? I don't have a watch, sorry.

3 Replies

offline

Ricador

3,722 posts

Shepherd

Posted March 13, '09 10:59pm UTC

Was that all one poem?

Either way, the splashing part left me *confuzzled*.

offline

thisisnotanalt

9,821 posts

Shepherd

Posted March 13, '09 11:31pm UTC

They were pretty good, but you seem not to pay much attention to the more advanced structure of poetry beyond the rhyme scheme. The first one had pretty good flow, the second was weird, and overall you diud a pretty good job.

offline

Destor

706 posts

Nomad

Posted March 14, '09 3:13am UTC

Thank you, Thank you.

you seem not to pay much attention to the more advanced structure of poetry beyond the rhyme scheme.

Well, this is more of the "I'm bored so I'm gonna write a poem" type of poetry than the "Poetry is my hobby" type of poetry. But I will remember that.

Was that all one poem?

No. Let me separate it for you.

The title-Ah, seasons.

the poem-
Ah, the sound of Spring. That gentle cry.
The voice of Autumn. A soft whispering.
The touch of Summer. A swift feeling.
The cry of Winter. Quite a Din.
I sit on my stump and notice
The world is changing as I move,
For I am an orchestra conductor
And my motions tell the world where to go
An oracle of the new spring
And a change of the ages
one to the next
reminding me what it is
to feel like myself.

The second one relies on you reading it properly. It was more of an experiment than a poem.
The title-A mental attack.

The poem-
Splish.
Splish splash.
Splish splash drip splash.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip SPLOOSH!
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.
Splish splash drip splash gurgle drip.
Splish splash drip splash.
Splish splash.
Splish.

Perhaps it makes more sense now? Maybe?

So anyway, I was thinking. Lots of people say that grammar is unimportant, but I say it is. The reason? look at this sentence, with no punctuation.

A woman without her man is nothing.

But, this can mean two things depending on punctuation.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.
A woman, without her man, is nothing.
This is a good counter-argument, so feel free to use it if you like.

But back to poems.

(title)Poseidon's realm
(poem)
At the ocean
With the shells.
My heart is here
And here it dwells.

I have to leave
Leave the shells.
This is my home
Poseidon's realm.
(end poem)

And again
(title) Pets
(poem)
Please don't lick my feet
They ain't no tasty treat

And you! Stop biting my hand!
You'll find it's quite bland

I thought I said no!
I'm not made out of dough!

Ugh, young dogs are a trouble,
But add a cat and it's double!
(end poem)

[porky]Ahde abadee dee dah dee, That's all folks![/porky]

Thank you, Thank you.\r\n[quote]you seem not to pay much attention to the more advanced structure of poetry beyond the rhyme scheme.[/quote]\r\nWell, this is more of the "I'm bored so I'm gonna write a poem" type of poetry than the "Poetry is my hobby" type of poetry. But I will remember that.\r\n\r\n[quote]Was that all one poem?[/quote]\r\nNo. Let me separate it for you.\r\n\r\nThe title-Ah, seasons.\r\n\r\nthe poem-\r\nAh, the sound of Spring. That gentle cry.\r\nThe voice of Autumn. A soft whispering.\r\nThe touch of Summer. A swift feeling.\r\nThe cry of Winter. Quite a Din.\r\nI sit on my stump and notice\r\nThe world is changing as I move,\r\nFor I am an orchestra conductor\r\nAnd my motions tell the world where to go\r\nAn oracle of the new spring\r\nAnd a change of the ages\r\none to the next\r\nreminding me what it is\r\nto feel like myself.\r\n\r\nThe second one relies on you reading it properly. It was more of an experiment than a poem.\r\nThe title-A mental attack.\r\n\r\nThe poem-\r\nSplish.\r\nSplish splash.\r\nSplish splash drip splash.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip SPLOOSH!\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip driiiip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash gurgle drip.\r\nSplish splash drip splash.\r\nSplish splash.\r\nSplish.\r\n\r\nPerhaps it makes more sense now? Maybe?\r\n\r\nSo anyway, I was thinking. Lots of people say that grammar is unimportant, but I say it is. The reason? look at this sentence, with no punctuation.\r\n\r\nA woman without her man is nothing.\r\n\r\nBut, this can mean two things depending on punctuation.\r\nA woman: without her, man is nothing.\r\nA woman, without her man, is nothing.\r\nThis is a good counter-argument, so feel free to use it if you like.\r\n\r\nBut back to poems.\r\n\r\n(title)Poseidon's realm\r\n(poem)\r\nAt the ocean\r\nWith the shells.\r\nMy heart is here\r\nAnd here it dwells.\r\n\r\nI have to leave\r\nLeave the shells.\r\nThis is my home\r\nPoseidon's realm.\r\n(end poem)\r\n\r\nAnd again\r\n(title) Pets\r\n(poem)\r\nPlease don't lick my feet\r\nThey ain't no tasty treat\r\n\r\nAnd you! Stop biting my hand!\r\nYou'll find it's quite bland\r\n\r\nI thought I said no!\r\nI'm not made out of dough!\r\n\r\nUgh, young dogs are a trouble,\r\nBut add a cat and it's double!\r\n(end poem)\r\n\r\n[porky]Ahde abadee dee dah dee, That's all folks![/porky]

Showing 1-3 of 3

Categories

Quests

Community

Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Big D's poetry? Maybe?