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Evilpumpkinman
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Evilpumpkinman
485 posts
Nomad

I guess the name sums it all up!!!Put your long and complex or short and simple jokes here!!!If it's in the wrong place move it,If it's all ready been done lock it,O.K I'll start!!!

This is mine...

Q.How Do You Make Lady Gaga Cry?
A.Poker Face!

HaHaHaHa *cough*

  • 110 Replies
rockmaiden1
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rockmaiden1
162 posts
Nomad

A few boys are sitting around a puppy in a circle. A man passing by asks " What are you doing to that poor puppy?" One of them replies " Who will tell the biggest lie will own the puppy." The stares at them with astonishment then says " When I was young I never told a lie." Another boy replies " Well, give the puppy to the man."

rockmaiden1
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rockmaiden1
162 posts
Nomad

The stares
The man stares

wickedplayer494
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wickedplayer494
17 posts
Nomad

Q: What do you get when you jumble deodorant and a microwave?

A: A nuke!

Pixie214
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Pixie214
5,838 posts
Peasant

Two peanuts walk into a rough looking bar not looking for trouble... Unfortuneatley one was a salted.

Small ads:

"Albino he/she seeks similar"

"Good looking, athletic millionair seeks gullible stunner"

"Small minority wanted to spoil it for the rest of us... there's always one is it you"

"wanted 30 chinamen and a Zeppelin for elaborate practical joke" (no responces)

"Amanda I'm running a bit late... will be there in a bout an hour... how far apart are the contractions"

"NEMESIS WANTED!!! I'm 5foot 10 into kayaking, reading and conversation by day; Justice, honour and vengence by night. Seeking arch-enemy possibly crimelord or deformed megolomaniac."

"Does anyone else think there's anyhting not quite right about Gary Lineker"

Jimmy Carr

St3alth95
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St3alth95
93 posts
Nomad

The United States Chairforce: Keeping you safe and comfy in your own chairs, with our chairs. Ooh ra!

GreatestSoloEver
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GreatestSoloEver
1,361 posts
Nomad

Q:How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?!

A:One...Two...Three...Yum! Three!!!

mattt15
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mattt15
1,669 posts
Nomad

Oh ,here is the joke section.

Ill post 2 of my favorites. But not my favorites of my favorites.

A man enters a girl shop. a girl asks: What are you doing here?

-Oh i just like spying on the girls changing!!!


Next joke:

A turkey lays a egg. The wind pushes it right, left, front and back. What happens to the egg? The funny answer is in my profile!

Check it out!

JohnnyUnitas
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JohnnyUnitas
172 posts
Nomad

Heres one:

There was an opening for a job at the Royal Academy of Science. They took 4 professors from different colleges for an interview with the President.
One was from MIT,
another from Stanford,
a guy from harvard,
and one from Yale.

The guy from MIT comes in and they ask "what is the fastest thing in the world." He says "a thought." That is fast says the president we'll think about it.
The professor from Stanford come in. The same question is asked. He replied "a blink". The president says "that is very fast" we'll think about it.
The professor from Harvard has the question repeated to him, she replies "light". President says "that is fast" we'll think about it.
And finally the professor from Yale comes in and is asked the same. He replies, "crap!". The president looks in disbelief. "Crap?"
The professor says "yes crap, because before you can think, blink, or turn on a light %&$! comes out" he got the job

ExplosiveDynamite
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ExplosiveDynamite
316 posts
Nomad

The funny answer is in my profile!


Actually it isn't, and why do you have to be so annoying to do that? You don't get profile views, y'know? Just post the answer.. here..

Anyways...


stupid joke time.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Eileen Dover.
Elieen Dover who?
Eileen Dover and broke your fence..

*pronounced I leaned over*
deathopper
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deathopper
1,567 posts
Nomad

OK I have one.
A woman's three daughters were married to three different men. The women wanted to see if here sons-in-law were trustworthy, so one day she went to the beach with here first son-in-law. She went to swim in the lac, but, not knowing hot to swim, she almost drowns. Luckily, here son-in-law jumped in and saved here. The next day, he got a great 2011 car strait from the factory with all the newest features. The car had a letter stuck in the wind shield. The letter was from his mother-in-law thanking him for saving here life. The women did the same thing to here second son-in-law and the same thing happen to him. When it was the third son-in-law's turn, he was scared of swimming in the water and let his mother-in-law drown. The next day, he gets a Ferrari! Yes, a freaking Ferrari! In the windshield was a letter from his father-in-law. He read
"Thank you son for getting rid of that horrible witch I call my wife! I was planning of getting a divorce, but not anymore! As I sign of my appreciation I give you this gift!
Signed your father-in-law."

My dad told me this one. I ROLF!

bluebee2468
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bluebee2468
114 posts
Nomad

I got one

There are 3 Girls(One Blonde,One Black + One Brown haired)
They wanna see who can swim across a river
The Blonde Girl Swims 1/4 way and swims back
The Black Girl swims 1/3 way and swims back
The Brown girl swims 1/2 way and swims back

The smarter people will get this

deathopper
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deathopper
1,567 posts
Nomad

I ROLF!


*face palm*

I have another one

Three friends are stranded in the middle of a desert and they find a genie. The genie tells them that they have three wishes, so they decide a wish each. Two of the three friends wish to go back home. A jiffy later they disappear. The third think for his wish and starts to fell lonely. His wish is "I wish my friends were here with me!"
member565
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member565
102 posts
Nomad

Justin Bieber needs a ladder to reach puberty

Ghgt99
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Ghgt99
1,894 posts
Nomad

The U.S army used Justin Bieber's song "Baby" against the Taliban and got charged with crimes against humanity. =P

member565
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member565
102 posts
Nomad

Lol I like Justin Bieber. Another reason to make good jokes

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