I guess the name sums it all up!!!Put your long and complex or short and simple jokes here!!!If it's in the wrong place move it,If it's all ready been done lock it,O.K I'll start!!!
A few boys are sitting around a puppy in a circle. A man passing by asks " What are you doing to that poor puppy?" One of them replies " Who will tell the biggest lie will own the puppy." The stares at them with astonishment then says " When I was young I never told a lie." Another boy replies " Well, give the puppy to the man."
"Small minority wanted to spoil it for the rest of us... there's always one is it you"
"wanted 30 chinamen and a Zeppelin for elaborate practical joke" (no responces)
"Amanda I'm running a bit late... will be there in a bout an hour... how far apart are the contractions"
"NEMESIS WANTED!!! I'm 5foot 10 into kayaking, reading and conversation by day; Justice, honour and vengence by night. Seeking arch-enemy possibly crimelord or deformed megolomaniac."
"Does anyone else think there's anyhting not quite right about Gary Lineker"
There was an opening for a job at the Royal Academy of Science. They took 4 professors from different colleges for an interview with the President. One was from MIT, another from Stanford, a guy from harvard, and one from Yale.
The guy from MIT comes in and they ask "what is the fastest thing in the world." He says "a thought." That is fast says the president we'll think about it. The professor from Stanford come in. The same question is asked. He replied "a blink". The president says "that is very fast" we'll think about it. The professor from Harvard has the question repeated to him, she replies "light". President says "that is fast" we'll think about it. And finally the professor from Yale comes in and is asked the same. He replies, "crap!". The president looks in disbelief. "Crap?" The professor says "yes crap, because before you can think, blink, or turn on a light %&$! comes out" he got the job
OK I have one. A woman's three daughters were married to three different men. The women wanted to see if here sons-in-law were trustworthy, so one day she went to the beach with here first son-in-law. She went to swim in the lac, but, not knowing hot to swim, she almost drowns. Luckily, here son-in-law jumped in and saved here. The next day, he got a great 2011 car strait from the factory with all the newest features. The car had a letter stuck in the wind shield. The letter was from his mother-in-law thanking him for saving here life. The women did the same thing to here second son-in-law and the same thing happen to him. When it was the third son-in-law's turn, he was scared of swimming in the water and let his mother-in-law drown. The next day, he gets a Ferrari! Yes, a freaking Ferrari! In the windshield was a letter from his father-in-law. He read "Thank you son for getting rid of that horrible witch I call my wife! I was planning of getting a divorce, but not anymore! As I sign of my appreciation I give you this gift! Signed your father-in-law."
There are 3 Girls(One Blonde,One Black + One Brown haired) They wanna see who can swim across a river The Blonde Girl Swims 1/4 way and swims back The Black Girl swims 1/3 way and swims back The Brown girl swims 1/2 way and swims back
Three friends are stranded in the middle of a desert and they find a genie. The genie tells them that they have three wishes, so they decide a wish each. Two of the three friends wish to go back home. A jiffy later they disappear. The third think for his wish and starts to fell lonely. His wish is "I wish my friends were here with me!"