ForumsArt, Music, and WritingDrake Fergoni

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dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

My arm stings. The blood leaving my arm is creating a pool underneath as I try and cover my wound. I constantly check all around me to make sure there are no more assassins like the three I managed to kill before me. I am slightly dizzy, and am confused as to why assassins have been sent after the military. It begins to rain and I started to recount my childhood.

Clack. Clack. Swish. Thud.
"Ahh, you got me again, brother."
"Yeah, but I always beat you, Sam."
"Yeah that's true."
"Alright, let's go home now."
"So brother, how are you so good at swordfighting?"
"I don't know, I guess it's a natural talent of mine."
"I guess so. Well, let's hurry up before mother gets mad. Drake?"
I heard what Sam was saying, but I was stuck to the spot as soon as I saw the soldiers passing by. From that day on, I knew what I wanted to do: I wanted to enlist in the army.


"Sir, are you okay?"
"What? Oh, yes. I'm fine. Just a little cut."
"But sir, you're bleeding through that cloth. I think we need to get you stitched up."
"It's fine lieutenant. So what's the current situation?"
"Well, of the 6 generals, you're the only one left."
"And what of the lower ranks?"
"Well, there's us, and a few others, but that's about it."
"...I see..."
"Sir?"
"Alright, it's time to move out. We're going to end this problem before it gets out of hand."

I didn't know who was behind this, but I knew one thing: I was the one who was going to stop them.
Before we left the capitol, we made sure we stocked up on supplies, then set out. After setting out, a lot of things ran through my mind. Who is behind this mess? And why are they doing it? What did the military do that deserved this action to be taken? Was it some enemy country that we had fought in the past wanting revenge? No one knows as of yet, but we are going to find out. While contemplating this, six more assassins appeared. They surrounded me and my men and we were caught completely off guard. We all stood still, even the assassins. Who was to make the first move? Us or them? I took up my sword and charged towards the nearest one. Now he was the one caught of guard. The two next to him blocked my lunge. Apparently they've been trained to work together, one thing I hadn't gotten around to training my men in. What were we to do now?

To Be Continued...

  • 47 Replies
dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

And sorry if it's not that great, I don't usually write stories. I just think of ideas for them. Never put it to paper...or, uh, keyboard.

MagiX
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MagiX
1,015 posts
Nomad

That was really interesting. ^^ you should write more, i'd love to read the next story.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
1,717 posts
Shepherd

Don't worry. I'll write more. Just not this minute. I wrote this so Pazx would stop bugging me, but I think she's off now, so...:/

But thanks. I wasn't sure how it turned out. I didn't even draft this, I just thought of it while typing it into the first post.

Pazx
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Pazx
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Peasant

I wrote this so Pazx would stop bugging me, but I think she's off now, so...:/


I'm never off... I was just... Temporarily beating some Sonic game.

But thanks. I wasn't sure how it turned out. I didn't even draft this, I just thought of it while typing it into the first post.


Big mistake. (I often do it)

Anyways, very well written. It's a good plot and such. It looks nicer than mine too~

The chronological order confuses me though.
Zega
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Zega
6,921 posts
Peasant

This story is weird. It seems like there was a prequel.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
1,717 posts
Shepherd

Hmm, I see some people are confused by the order. The italics are a flashback to his childhood. There's gonna be more of them, possible one every chapter, so be ready for them.

It seems like there was a prequel.

Hopefully my above comment explained it a little more. I don't think there's a prequel.
Pixie214
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Pixie214
5,838 posts
Peasant

Good story dragonball ery interesting you just can't beat mysterious assasins ay. The next one should be good.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

-evil laughter-
Boredom is the best inspiration. XD

Well anyway, thanks pixie. Glad you liked it.

Roadripper
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Roadripper
1,514 posts
Farmer

Awesome, interesting story! Maybe a little confusing at first, but I could still follow it!

~RR~

dragonball05
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dragonball05
1,717 posts
Shepherd

Awesome, interesting story! Maybe a little confusing at first, but I could still follow it!

Dang it. You could still follow it...:P
Just kidding. I did wanna make it a little confusing so people would be more inclined to read the next one.
spoonner
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spoonner
36 posts
Nomad

What the... you switched from first-present, to third-past.

Other than that, it was pretty good.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
1,717 posts
Shepherd

What the... you switched from first-present, to third-past.

Hmm, you fail to see the use of a literary device called a flashback. And I never switched to third-past, it was always first-person. Drake is always talking as himself, just sometimes I used dialogue instead of saying:

"Ahh, you got me again brother" said Sam.

I didn't want to do that. It would sound to forced, don't you think?
Google567
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Google567
4,013 posts
Farmer

Good story, I liked it. Nice story line.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
1,717 posts
Shepherd

Thank you Google. Glad you read the story without me telling you about.

Naruto
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Naruto
658 posts
Nomad

That was a really good story.
You should make another one.

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