ForumsArt, Music, and WritingDrake Fergoni

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dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

My arm stings. The blood leaving my arm is creating a pool underneath as I try and cover my wound. I constantly check all around me to make sure there are no more assassins like the three I managed to kill before me. I am slightly dizzy, and am confused as to why assassins have been sent after the military. It begins to rain and I started to recount my childhood.

Clack. Clack. Swish. Thud.
"Ahh, you got me again, brother."
"Yeah, but I always beat you, Sam."
"Yeah that's true."
"Alright, let's go home now."
"So brother, how are you so good at swordfighting?"
"I don't know, I guess it's a natural talent of mine."
"I guess so. Well, let's hurry up before mother gets mad. Drake?"
I heard what Sam was saying, but I was stuck to the spot as soon as I saw the soldiers passing by. From that day on, I knew what I wanted to do: I wanted to enlist in the army.


"Sir, are you okay?"
"What? Oh, yes. I'm fine. Just a little cut."
"But sir, you're bleeding through that cloth. I think we need to get you stitched up."
"It's fine lieutenant. So what's the current situation?"
"Well, of the 6 generals, you're the only one left."
"And what of the lower ranks?"
"Well, there's us, and a few others, but that's about it."
"...I see..."
"Sir?"
"Alright, it's time to move out. We're going to end this problem before it gets out of hand."

I didn't know who was behind this, but I knew one thing: I was the one who was going to stop them.
Before we left the capitol, we made sure we stocked up on supplies, then set out. After setting out, a lot of things ran through my mind. Who is behind this mess? And why are they doing it? What did the military do that deserved this action to be taken? Was it some enemy country that we had fought in the past wanting revenge? No one knows as of yet, but we are going to find out. While contemplating this, six more assassins appeared. They surrounded me and my men and we were caught completely off guard. We all stood still, even the assassins. Who was to make the first move? Us or them? I took up my sword and charged towards the nearest one. Now he was the one caught of guard. The two next to him blocked my lunge. Apparently they've been trained to work together, one thing I hadn't gotten around to training my men in. What were we to do now?

To Be Continued...

  • 47 Replies
thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
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Shepherd

Yessssss. . .don't over-describe, don't under-describe. Incorporating that into your story will really help your goal to immerse the reader.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

Well, I did incorporate it into the story, at least in the second chapter I see I have.

the occasional stir of wildlife in the forest

headed off to the next town to try and learn more about these assassinations. The next town was the center of gossip: Zorshire

>_> I'll look for them in the first chapter, too.
dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

Well, I didn't mention the forest in the first chapter, but I did in the second chapter.

Before we left the capitol

There's the capitol being tied in.
thisisnotanalt
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thisisnotanalt
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Shepherd

Right. I get it. Just trying to help. . . .

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

:O Did I put those things in a mean way? Sorry if I was overbearing. :/

ChaosDemont
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ChaosDemont
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Nomad

That Was A very Great Story! ^.^ man your creative......I should make my own story.....

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

Thanks Chaos. Glad you liked it. I'm hoping to think up what to write in the next chapter soon.

brenda_1997
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brenda_1997
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Nomad

Wow, that was really good. And finally i had the time to read your story. Your really creative, i can never ever be that creative. I suck at writing stories,i wish i was you xD

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

Thanks brenda. Glad you were able to read it. -starts trying to think of the next chapter-

Hmm...

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

-notices it's been three days since I said I was thinking of the next chapter-

Sorry everyone. I've completely forgotten about this. I'll start actually thinking of the next chapter some time in the next couple days. :/

dragonball05
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dragonball05
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Shepherd

Well you can see I put it up "in the next couple days". :P Hopefully I'll get some ideas for this so I can continue it.

MagiX
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MagiX
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Nomad

I saw this thread the other day and wondered about it. Nice to see that you're continuing this.

zlith
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zlith
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Nomad

this story is nice and suspenseful good job. I might make my own story.

dragonball05
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dragonball05
1,717 posts
Shepherd

Go for it zlith. We always have room for another story. It can get a bit dry in the forums without these creative things to spice them up. :-)

dudeguy45
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dudeguy45
2,920 posts
Peasant

Cool. Action-ny.

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